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Which poem? Just
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Which poem? Just
Which poem? Just like Adina, I'm going to have people vote on one of my poems. Because theirs two of them I really like. And I can't figure out which one I want to submit for the contest. So, this one:
RAIN
A storm without rain,
no droplets of water falling,
falling down to earth,
from the big white clouds.
Only thunder, lightning,
howling wind.
And then, the clear balls fall,
the sound of the orbs landing
on the green leaves,
sliding off, to find it's way,
to a other,
getting louder.
Hitting the ground
with a feathery sound,
the water falls to earth.
Or:
STORM
The thunder is like
a dragons roar,
the lightning, wizards light,
the rain is like a giants tears,
in the middle, of the night;
The cracking branches, of a tree,
is the witches, wicked laugh,
the water pounding on your roof,
is the sound of faeries small feet,
in the middle, of the night;
The lights going out,
is the darknesses doing,
the fealing of fear in your heart,
is all the monsters you've dreamed about,
in the middle, of the night.
Which one?
submitted by Meadow, age 11, IL
(July 26, 2009 - 2:23 pm)
(July 26, 2009 - 2:23 pm)
I think the storm one, it's really dramatic!
(July 26, 2009 - 5:37 pm)
It's hard, because they're both really good, but I think I'd choose STORM.
(July 26, 2009 - 7:08 pm)
Thanks, guys!!!!
(July 29, 2009 - 12:18 pm)
Yup. Definitely Storm. BUt you might want to take out a few commas.
(July 29, 2009 - 8:20 pm)
Yeah. When I look at it again, it looks like an overload of commas. I'm not really good at stuff like that. I just kind of guess. Right now I'm guessing when to put a comma or a period.
OK, I wrote a other poem today that I like too. And I'm not sure if i want to do this one or one of the other poems (Rain and Storm). So, here is a other poem that I wrote:
Sing, Little Gold-Finch
Sing, little gold-finch,
sing sweet songs.
Of cold snow,
and when you're gray.
Of warm winds,
and when the flowers grow.
Of sunny days,
when you fly.
Of falling leaves,
and crisp days.
Sing, little gold finch,
and fly along.
Soar like a hawk,
swiftly dive.
Twirl and spin
like a falling leaf.
Sing, fly,
little gold-finch.
(July 30, 2009 - 10:34 am)
I like the storm one!
(July 30, 2009 - 7:49 am)
Both are great, but I like the Storm one
the best! :D
(July 30, 2009 - 11:15 am)
The second one, definitely. I love that poem, btw!
-EH
(July 30, 2009 - 12:45 pm)
All three are great, but I'd say that "STORM" is the best. The similes and metaphors are excellent, especially. Though I think you're missing an apostrophe or two...
(July 30, 2009 - 2:03 pm)
Yeah, like I said, I'm not really good at that stuff. Not at all.
(July 30, 2009 - 5:41 pm)
Oops, I didn't notice the third one. I like
it, too! In my opinion, I like Storm first,
Sing, Little Gold-Finch second, and Rain third.
All three are great though, really! ;D
(July 30, 2009 - 2:22 pm)
Definitely the Storm one.
(July 30, 2009 - 7:48 pm)
The storm one
(July 31, 2009 - 8:44 am)