Chatterbox: Inkwell

The Tale of General Waffleson!

You may have read my CB Fanfiction thing on BaB, and this is a sort of repost of that, but with some key elements changed in the story, and some of the spelling and punctuation corrected. So basically,it's That Thread 2.0. So uh, let's go! I'll start with the first chapter and release one every day until we come up to the one I'm still writin. Then it will be a bit longer to each post.

If you want to see the original thread the link should be here (please post link, Admins!):

http://www.cricketmagkids.com/chatterbox/blababoutbooks/node/321112 

Here's the first chapter:

Act One, Scene One: In Which the General Acquires a Strange Device

My story is a wild one. Depending on who you are, you’ll either think it’s a load of Halabagutchet or a nice autobiography. But whichever you think, I assure you it’s true. All of it. Every word. This is the story of General Waffleson. Me. So without further adieu, let’s do this thing.

    One thing I need to get out of the way first: My mother was a dimension-hopping time-lord. My father was the general of the army of the Breakfast Kingdom. My parentage was a bit strange to say the least, but they were still my mom and dad. That is, until mom disappeared and I got lost in the timestream light years away from my father. More on that later.

My adventure started at age 12, the year 2487. I was at an old stone bridge in the woods by my house, my feet dangling off the side. The yellow grass of september colored the ground and dead leaves were just beginning to fall. I was sitting with Jamie, the 80’s nerd who’s been my friend as far as I can remember.

Jamie was taller than me, about 5’ 7” and a year older. He almost constantly wore an aviator’s jacket, even in the middle of summer, when you could fry an egg on the hood of your hovercraft. He had bowl-shaped black hair and brown eyes. In short, he looked pretty much nothing like me, but a lot like Mike from Stranger Things.

I was 5’ 5” and had dark brown hair that was usually flat, but sometimes stuck out in tufts. I liked clothes that included hoods, because it could rain acid at pretty much any moment. My eyes were sometimes green, and sometimes gold. My limbs were long and a bit spidery, with not much muscle to support them. I was currently wearing a blue hoodie with the message ‘Flynn’s Arcade: Go Grid or Go Home’ on it and my Fez (What? Fezzes are cool). Jamie and I were in the middle of a fierce debate, and I was about to push Jamie into the water.

    “I tell you,” he said, “Mjolnir can summon thunder! Sting was only used to spread butter on Lembas Bread!”

    “Ah, but does Mjolnir glow when your enemies are close by? No. It does not.” I pointed out.

    “Thor doesn’t need to know where his enemies are because Mjolnir can blow up mountains! MOUNTAINS!”

    “Tell me, Jamie, have you ever heard of the words collateral damage?”

"Touche. Mjolnir is still WAY cooler than your stupid halfling butter knife."

I was growing irritated. “Will you ever give up?” I asked.

“Nope! Mjolnir is cooler than Sting, and nothing you say will convince me otherwise.” Jamie said, grinning.

I sighed. Jamie’s determined, I’ll give him that, but sometimes he’s kind of annoying.  

    “Where’s Very, anyway?” I asked, looking around, “He was supposed to be here.”

    “He’s busy with violin class, but he’ll be here soon,” Jamie answered.

Very Bad was Jamie’s older brother, and had recently joined our little group. He had been a great supplier of ideas, and he had a strange affiliation for music. Despite his name, he was a pretty nice guy, and mature for his years. He had promised to meet us at the old stone bridge, but it looked like he had other plans for the time being.

“Shall we head off to the bunker?” Jamie asked. I pondered for a couple seconds.

“Will Very know where we are?” I asked.

“He’ll figure it out. He’s pretty smart.” Jamie said.

“Let’s go then!” I said, and jumped down from the bridge onto the shore. Jamie followed, and soon we came to a tunnel in the ground. We both knew the way, so navigating through the various trick passages and getting to the trapdoor was easy. When we arrived, Jamie looked up at the ceiling, skeptical.

“Through the Floor Door?” asked Jamie.

“I thought it would be fun to try out,” I replied.

“That’s OK. I don’t have a problem with it.”

I opened the trapdoor, climbed in, and helped Jamie up. The bunker was a large underground building that we found one day, and refurbished (with the help of my parents) to act as a kind of secret base. It had a lab where we conducted tests on various stuff (more recently constructed), a comfortable living room, three bedrooms, a bathroom (obviously), and a couple other rooms that aren’t worth mentioning. We dusted ourselves off, and took a look around the lab, which is where the Floor Door lead. Nothing was out of the ordinary at first glance. But then I noticed the police box in the corner.

The police box was just standing there, not doing anything. I knew what it was because we learned about them in history class. I don’t know what one was doing here, though. Jamie stared with me for a little bit, but then he began to walk towards it. I followed, but when he opened the door, I stopped him.

“What are you doing?” I yelled at Jamie.

“Going inside.” he said.

“Do you know who this belongs to?” I asked.

“No. What's your point?”

“My point is that we shouldn’t just waltz inside a random box that appears in our hidden bunker!” I shouted.

“No need to shout. I know you, aren’t you the littlest bit curious about what’s inside?” he said.

“Yeah, but do you really think that this is a good idea?” I asked.

“Good as any idea you’ve had. Come on!” He walked inside, waving for me to follow. I followed, albeit reluctantly. When I saw the inside, I gasped. There was a huge four-way control panel with various levers and buttons in the center with a large tube coming from the middle. We were walking on iron catwalks suspended by seemingly invisible cables above a floor that seemed to be steaming. Jamie busied himself with the console, while I walked around the various rooms that branched off of the central one.

As I was walking, I came across a hall with wall-to-wall rows of some strange objects. They were glass tubes sitting on large panels with the word TARDIS written across the bottom. I stared at the tubes, and called Jamie over. “What’s up?” he asked.

“I found this weird tube thing, and I think I should go inside.”

“Can’t hurt that much, can it?” he asked.

“I dunno, it’s possible. Do you know what the word TARDIS means?”

“Never heard of it. You should try going in!”

“Alright, but if I die, I’m blaming you,” I said. I took a deep breath and went inside the glass tube.

Much to my surprise, the inside of the ‘TARDIS’ mirrored that of the area I had just left, with the console in the centre and pathways the sides of it. There was one difference from the one I had just left. This one had a key on the console. I grabbed the key and stepped out of the TARDIS. Jamie was waiting with baited breath, and when he saw me come out with the keys, he started speaking frantically, “There’ssomeonehere! Gogogogogogogogo!” he said and started to shove me back in the TARDIS thing. I tried to resist, but the caught me off balance, and I tumbled backward into the tube, Jamie right behind.

As we groggily sat up, I spotted a shiny keyhole on the console. I got to my feet, ran over to the console, shoved the key into the keyhole, and turned. I heard a loud ‘VWORRRP! VWORRRP!’ and the floor began to shake.  I looked at the console, and saw a bunch of levers and dials, and for some odd reason, a teapot. I pulled the levers and twisted the dials, hoping to somehow deactivate the machine. No such luck. The ‘VWORRRP! VWORRRP!’ noise grew louder, and then, all of the sudden, everything slowed to a dull hum. Jamie and I both walked to the door, nearly in sync, curious to see what happened. I stared at Jamie. Jamie stared back. With a nod, we both pushed the door open. I gasped. Jamie gawked. We were in an entirely different world.