Well here's one I had, but I'm not sure where to put it:

"When the time comes for you to die, don't die and be forgotten. Die remembered. Have a legacy. Do something that won't let the world forget you."

I just kinda made it up in my head, and I want to put it somewhere, but I can't find a good place for it. I'm thinking it could be some form of parting words of a dying (or leaving) character to the main role.

First sentence:

"It all started with a pickle, a pipe, and a pandemic."

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"I only killed them a little bit!"

"Murder is not a good thing! Say you're sorry."

"But they spat in my soup!"

"I don't care about your soup! Apologise for killing those nice skeletons!"

"FIIIIINE. Sorry."

*Skeletons come back up from being dead* "It's cool. We don't mind."

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"I'm pretty sure assassinating world leaders is illegal."

"CURSES! What about assassinating two world leaders?"

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I think that those could all come from the same random, slightly morbid, ridiculous story.

Haha! Love it!

Top!

The world went black. I had run out of quarters.

"For Pete's sake, could someone please find my cookie?!?!"

The last word could be changed to something more ridiculous and unimportant sounding. Maybe it could be an actually very important object in the story.

Time to dive into my Unnamed Google documents!!!

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"I have a plan."

"Is it a good one?"

Xir hesitated. "I have a plan..." xir repeated.

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"Are you even listening to me?! This is serious, I messed up royally!"

"I am. It just takes me a little while to process so much stupid at once."

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"Do you really not recognize me?" Xir whispered sadly.

"You would think the blank stare would've told you that." Xir chuckled. "But you've never been very observant, have you, X?" 

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"It can't get any worse than how it's been." Note to the readers, never say these words. Ever. Trust me, you will jinx yourself. Big time. Look what happened to me.

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If you ever learn one thing in your life from reading books, let it be this--you should never brag to a god about how you've never lost a battle in your life, so you're practically immortal.

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"My world was black and white--"

"Most people's are," Xir said dryly.

"--until I met you." 

(Dystopian universe where everyone sees the world in black and white, sorta like the Giver)

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That's all I can tug outta my brain right now, but this is super fun! :D 

A blurb from a story I’m working on.

”In the old days of the first war, there once was a Magistrate who received a message,” Geming began. “This Magistrate was good and kind to his people, not over-taxing on food like some others did. So when he heard that the Five were going to pass by his village, and that the Dragon Emperor’s soldiers were persuading them, he decided to extend his generosity to the heroes....”
———————
They had been on the run for quite a while now, and even strong-willed Yanshi’s perseverance was starting to crack. The sun was beginning to set, and they had come to a small clearing in the forest. “Let’s stop here,” said Geming, panting from the chase. The other four were quick to agree. Jing did her plat-whispering thing, which always gave Fengwei the creeps. The trees lifted their long standing roots to shuffle into place around them, sealing whoever might be waiting for them out. Yanshi stomped, creating a fire pit, to which Geming then added his flames. Bolin took the moment to refill his water skins and everyone else’s gourds by pulling moisture from the air, It was here, in nature, that Fengwei felt almost completely useless, he could sense no refined metal around for miles, not even in the earth, which usually held some type of ore. He wearily unloaded his sleeping pack and was about to tell Geming that he had a burr attached to his sandle when he hear a noise. He tensed, pulling out his twisted jian. “Did you guys hear that?” In response, the others gave him shrugs.
”We’re all tired, Fengwei,” chirped Jing, trying to keep her eyes open. “You’re probably imagining it.” A stick snapped in the vicinity. Everyone suddenly became alert. Everyone held their elements at the ready. In front of them, a bush quivered. With bated breath, they watched it. A rabbit hopped out. They all breathed again.

“I guess I am a bit disoriented,” he grumbled. He bent down to refasten his metal leg, ignoring the ever present ghost itch. He sighed. “What I would give for a moment of peace.” Ever silent, Bolin nodded in agreement.

Suddenly a figure jumped down from the treetops into their clearing. Everyone yelped. “Who are you?!” Geming was scary when he wanted to be, Fengwei reflected. The fire wielder held his flames in his hands like daggers, his stance strong and yet balanced.

“Woah, woah,” the person said, pulling off his hood off with one motion. “can’t a guy deliver a message without getting-“ He glanced nervously at the glowing weapons in Geming’s hands. “Fried?”

Fengwei pulled out his own defense. “Can’t a group settle down without being jumped on?” His sword was leveled at the “messenger’s” throat.

“Please, please,” said the boy. “I would prefer not to be skewered.”

“Guys,” said Yanshi. “He’s not going anywhere.” She pointed at his feet, which were now firmly attached to the ground with earth.

Everyone untensed a little. “As I was about to say,” the boy said. “I have a message from the village of Wan Dao, which is very near to your location. The citizens have heard of your predicament, and are willing to hide you from Jiao-long’s thugs.”

———————

“Magistrate,” called a small boy, running up to Senli. Senli bent down to hear the whispered words and nodded, then sending him on his way.

He turned back to the five, who were looking at him with dropped jaws. “They call you ‘Magistrate?’”

He bowed slightly, smiling at Geming’s question. “It’s just a nickname. I lead the youth in our own rebellion against Jiao-long. I was the one notified of your position and the one to convince the other to let you come.”

I wonder what I can come up with for my stories...

"Darren help me before the demon princess tries to hurt me even more!!!"

"Why can't we just do finger guns?"

Here's a conversation from a story that I actually wrote that was pretty funny.

"Why are you on the roof?"

"Why are you on the ground?"

"Did you sleep at all?  You look like you've been there all night."

"No."

"You're gonna be sleep-deprived!"

"What do you care?"

Hmm... I bet I can think of some more.

*jumps out of box*  "Ooga booga!  Okay, now I'm not even trying to be scary."

"You just gotta make do with what you've got.  You're name's Cycle, right?  Your life must have been like that, and that's why your form is here in this town.  Heck, I can't figure mine out, and my name is Valor and I'm wearing a uniform!"

"I have a tree in my leg!!"

"Did she just dab and cartwheel in the same two minutes?" 

" Can you calm down?!?!"

" What is this calm you speak of, I only FSDAJKAV CEFNVUAINVU."

" I am so confused!"

" I am feeling stabby."

" SOMEONE CANNOT FEEL STABBY!!!"

" If human are bread, is cat grass? Would fish be closet?"

" I left for 2 SECONDS, and the house is on fire."

" The tissuebox gave birth to paper. It was going to take over the world."

" If the little voice inside of your head is your soulmate, what would yours be?"

" Annoying."

" Dead."

" A Serial Killer."

" I am suddently concerned for the pankakes in the freezer."

~~

This was actuially a conversation I was a part of. 

ME (normal font)

Normal Friend (Idalised) 

The Insane Friend (Bold) 

Mom Friend (Underlined)