Chatterbox: Inkwell

The ATTUNEMENT chronicles book 1: the new world

this is a book i'm writing..., well, this is the prologue:

prologue 

ultra enterprizes lab, america, january 9th, 3246,

The huge machine towered above them. gruman looked up at it and smiled, he turn to edbert "soon we'll be leaving this barren wastland for a much better place." "yes" said edbert "we'll be leaving those weakling fools that are everyone else" "heheeheheheheehehehehehehehe" they both cackled."it's ready"said the head engineer as he walked up to them."start it up." said edbert and gruman together. the man walked off toward the machine edbert and gruman assembled the travelers "TODAY" gruman boomed "TODAY WE LEAVE THIS BARREN WASTELAND" he turned"START IT UP" the machine started to whirr "its working" said edbert "ITS WORKING!"

then, chaos. a red light started coming out of the machine, gruman stood enraptured. then it exploded in a mass of blood-red light.

childrens dome, zicriol, january 9th, 3246, 

a massive cone of red light opened in front of ian, he was pulled in along with all the other children.

when ian awoke, there was a wildcat standing next to him, it was peering down at him. are you okay? it asked. "i'm fine" said ian "wait, did you just talk to me?!!" what did you think i was doing?galumphing

So thats the prologue! tell me what you think!