Different. This is
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Different. This is
Different. This is a story about a girl called Morgan. Please post it, admins.
Different. Ordinary. I look ordinary, but if you go beaneath my skin and look at my Dna you'll see its different. I have cms, my Dna had a mutation which gave me Cms. I know what its stands for, but I can't write it, but I can simply say its a disease. Don't be afeard of me. I cannot infect you, and I look like a ordinary girl. But I am different, and I try every day to be a normal girl even though I'm not. Its hard.
I wish I didn't have Cms. If the mutation didn't go exactly right I would be dead. The mutation gave me Cms instead of messing up and killing me. I drew a bad card, but I also got a good card too. It was either have Cms, or die. My lucky stars choose Cms.
I hate it too. I am not normal, like the rest of you. I wish I was. I have a bunch of medication promblems, stomach stuff, etc. I don't have a stomach problems I use to, but that comes later in the story. Point is I'm different. I want to be normal. So very, very badly.
My mutation is rare, barely any doctors see it. I thank my lucky stars I look like a normal 12 year old, though. When I went to a doctor, a very good doctor he had me sign some papers. I forgot what for. It was something though that made me feel like a specimen, a lab rat.
But I understand now that I'm older. Doctors want to learn and help the few people with the same rare mutation as me. That is there natural instinct. I wish they could just get rid of it, forever. End the sturggle to be able to do math well, To be able to be ordinary. End the struggle to try to be ordinary when your not. To try and fit in.
Its hard knowing i'm different than everyone in the class. I have to go to bunches of doctors appiontments, tests and all they get? A checkup appointment a year. That haven't stayed in the hospital for a day... they have gotten a commmon cold and come back the next day. Me? I'm out for a week. Missing school, and friends.
Their so lucky, and they don't even realize it. I hate having stupid Cms. They get to have a cold and be fine after a day. A week for me. Add on the occasional stomach pain. It sucks. I hate it. I wish i never got Cms. I wish I was normal. I wish i could get a cold and come back to school the next day. I wish
It took a long time to find out I had Cms, not some other thing. they knew I had a problem they just didn't know what it was. They thought I had something else for a while. Something that could kill me.
I also had many surgeries in the process of finding out what I had. One surgery on my elbow, one of my thigh, tonsils removed because of Sleep problem, histractem, and thats about it, but still a lot. Oh yeah, and I have temor. I wish i didn't have so many promblems.
Not to mention having to wear a BP every night. Its like this kind of mask. MY life sucked for a while, until theses last few years and I'll tell you why later.
I have to take a bunch of pills in the morning, a few at night. I wish I didn't. I wish i could be a normal kid. Normal kids don't have to take pills.
But my life still sucks. I have a lot of good days, but yeah my life sucks sometimes. I bottled up my emotions a lot. Its hard to cope with the medical issues, and being different. So I usually keep my emotions inside. Hidden in a little bottle in the back of my mind, so i don't have to acknowlege I'm different, when i want to be ordinary so much. I wanna be like you kids, not a strange girl with Cms. I'm a afeard if i tell people i have Cms they'll run away from me. My best friend almost did, but I quickly told her I couldn't infect her. If your friends hear you have a disaese they might run away, and that sucks. A very scary possiblty.
This is my story of my sucky life, and how it got better, but still kind of sucked. My names Morgan by the way and i'm your ordinary 12 year old girl....
Not.
(August 25, 2017 - 12:18 am)
MJ'S FRIEND, did this really happen to you, or is this just a story? If it did really happen to you, I'm so sorry! If it's just a story, well, its good! Keep writing!
And just, by the way, I'm a normal kid and I take pills...
(August 25, 2017 - 12:57 pm)
Yeah.....I- **shakes head***
Thats intersting to know I guess
(August 27, 2017 - 5:45 pm)
I knoew that some kids take pills, but. ***shakes head** Nevermind.
(August 27, 2017 - 8:06 pm)
Is this a made-up story, or yours?
(August 27, 2017 - 12:36 pm)
Its....ITs my story. Please don't pity me I can everything you guys can do, it just....its been harder to do things you guys do without getting tired really quickly, but its gotten better.
**Sighs and looks at feet*** this is really hard for me to talk about.
(August 27, 2017 - 5:50 pm)
This...This is my story. Please don't pity me when I say I have CMS.
**sighs and looks down at feet** this is hard for me to talk about.
(August 27, 2017 - 8:05 pm)
Aw, it's okay, MJ'S FRIEND! I understand that it must be hard to talk about. I'm sorry. I won't pity you if you don't want me to. :)
(August 27, 2017 - 9:20 pm)
You have nothing to apoligize for Leelie, and thanks for being so sympathetic.
(August 27, 2017 - 11:16 pm)
This is a kind of gross story, so I understand if you don't want to read it.
It was around when I still slept in my mom, and dad 's bed. I started to feel nasuas, so me and mom ran to the tolite. I threw up. I hate threwing up. You can't breath for a couple minutes, and when your done you have acide in your mouth and your grasping for air.
I don't know why we didn't go out in the front room to watch TV. It was obvouis I as sick, but we layed back down in bed. Seconds later I needed to go to the bathroom, and do number 2. I went to the bathroom and did number 2. Then I threw up. I was not feeling good
I repeated myself. I went to the bathroom, Then I threw up. It was terrible. By the way it was around 12:00.
I'll write more later. Its late.
Hope that didn't gross you out too much, and I am going to continue this part of the story tommorrow maybe.
(August 28, 2017 - 12:22 am)
Aw, I'm sorry! I hate throwing up, too. It's no fun. I've had similar instances where I've gotten sick in the middle of the night.
(August 28, 2017 - 11:32 am)
Sorry I was going to write last night, but I was sick. i will write later tonight
(August 29, 2017 - 9:29 pm)
I'm not going to contuine that post I wrote about being sick... so yeah.
DR WONG.
My mom and dad brought me to a nerouspke? Mind doctor, because they though I might have anxiety issues from one of my relatives. I really didn't want to go. I already had enough medical promblems, but I really didn't have a say.
The first two visits were fine, but apparently i was holding some "Emotions back" and even though i thought that wasn't true at the time when my mom and dad told me DR Wong had said that it was true. The need to be a normal kid, well I never express that to him, even though I did not realize that at the time.
I didn't want more medical problems, Why should I express any sign of medical issues?
The last vistit the third was when I broke. Not literally broke, but in the sense that my emotions i had been bottle for years came rushing back at me. You can't brush things off forever it'll always come back at you.
My mom brought up when i got upset in the car whe she told me I was going to have some testing at school. I'm not very good at math, and they think that why I'm not very good at math is because of something with my CMS. But I'm just not very good at math right? I think so. Thats when my insides turned cold. I wanted to forget that day. I had until she brought it up again.
And then right in front of a stranger I started to cry. I wanted to be normal so bad, and when she brought that up.. it reminded me how i had started to feel angry and upset. I would surely fail part of the testing, and that would show even more that I'm not normal. I know some kids might fail testing, but the majority of kids don't even have to take it this kind of test!!
I wanted to be so normal.. and i couldn't keep it in. So i cried in front of a stranger. I felt weak I was crying in front of a stranger, and-and I didn't like talking about my emotions. It was hard, And if I let my emotions slip about not being normal in front of a mind doctor I wouldn't be able to brush off the fact that i'm not normal. He would try to help me, which is good... but I like brushing it off. Then I don't have to feel the pain, the pain that would come when I didn't hide the fact in my mind that I wasn't normal. Oh I knew I wasn't normal, but I like to hide the fact that i'm not normal in a little room in my mind.
He understood that i was having a hard time coping. He started to talk about coping, and not brushing it off. The balance, and all the while I was crying. He finished, and we started brainstorming how to help me. Mom came up with writing. I thought that was a good idea. I love writing, its my dream career. I can create new worlds, people with amazing abilites, I can create a life, I can create a person story, I can create life with writing.
He asked me what had upset me. I knew what, but I didn't want to say. I was already embrassed, enough
I promise more later.
(August 29, 2017 - 11:10 pm)
I'm sorry you have to live with this, @MJ's friend. It's really inspiring that writing helped you, though. Just know that the CB is always here for you! <3
(August 31, 2017 - 3:35 pm)
I'm so sorry, MJ's Friend. I get you don't want pity, and I'm trying hard to restrain it--don't want to make you feel worse.
Just...remember we're all here for you if you need it. <3
(August 30, 2017 - 9:46 am)
This is so sad! I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. Please remember that we'll always have your back.
(August 30, 2017 - 10:02 am)