Top!

I can't wait to read it!!!!!!  

Holly says "Brii" she wants to snack on it and read the story!  

Part One:

Allyssa Julette frowned as her parents handed her the letter, along with the list of what to pack and the personal note. She scanned over it and then looked up at them with a raised eyebrow. "A finishing school? Seriously?"

Her mother nodded. "Yes, you're recent activities have been a bit... rambuctious, and we thought you could use some prep for adulthood." Allyssa winced at this. Okay, so maybe she had overeacted a bit by punching Tom Janson in the nose, but he totally deseved it. Beverly was literally crying! Plus, it was so worth siting in the priciple office to see him scream and clutch at his nose, blubbering. And maybe she had been the tiniest bit violent by kicking Anthony Preston in the solar plexus, but he was so going overboard by picking on Owen! 

"But a finishing school?" She asked again. "Mom, I'm not some prissy gossiping girl who has a hundred options for lipstick! You know I-" Her dad held a hand up, leaving no room for discussion. 

"We've already made the decision sweetheart," he said firmly. "You're going." She scowled, gave an exasperated sigh, and stormed to her bedroom. She slammed the door, and could hear both of her parents sigh. Well, what did she care? A falling feeling started in her stomach as she thought about it. 

"Great," She mumbled, flopping onto her bed. "A bunch of stuck up girls at a stuck up school with stuck up teachers. Just great!" She tossed all of the papers toward the trash, but the personal note missed and fell open on her floor. She would have let it stay there but... What kind of personal note only has a single sentance at the top and not even a signature or greeting? What a waste of paper. In her curiosity, she went to examine it. When life gives you lemons... read the unfinished sentance on the top, in curling loopy handwriting. Allyssa knew this saying. When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Right? But... what if this was some kind of clue? Let's see, she thought, closing her eyes. What accosiates with lemons? Lemon merainge, lemonade, sour, yellow... invisible ink! Her eyes snapped open. That was it. She ran to the bathroom, paper clutched in her hand. She closed the door behind her, plugged in the hair dryer, and turned it on high. Words, in the same curlicued handwriting apeared on the page.

Dear Allyssa Julette,

Be as it may that your parents think you are going to a finishing school, you most certainly are not! KNIGHTS stands for Knowledgeable Nines In Graceful, Hazardous Tutelage Studies. Judging from your vast vocabulary, I won't to explain to you what that means. The place disguised as Knight's Academy is actually a training center for combat. You were chosen as this year's trainee as well as eight others based on your grades, personality, backround, and expierience. Say nothing of this note to your parents and destroy it as soon as you are done reading.

Secretly yours,

Madame Charlotte

P.S. congradulations on uncoving this note. 

She blinked in shock. This was so much better than a finishing school! Then, following the instructions, she tore the note into tiny pieces and flushed them down the toilet. She smiled a secret smile as she walked out of the bathroom, retrieved the other papers from the trash, and began to pack. Allyssa Julette had never looked forward to anything else more.

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Well, that's it for today. My sinceriest apologies to the 9 others who were not featured, but this is only the beginning. Stay tuned.

Great writing! The first character is already, in my opinion, well developed. Good job!

Please write more!

Part Two:

Holly Chase faltered, pretending to look at a tourist map, as she arrived at the destination. She knew this was the right address, she had memorized it ten times over! She also knew what her parents didn't. She wasn't really going to Knights Academy, a finishing school for girls. She was going to KNIGHTS training center. KNIGHTS stood for Knowledgeable Nines In Graceful, Hazardous, Tutelge Studies. It was a secret society, very hush hush, yet the place she was standing was the least seclusive place she knew of! She was standing in front of Mannhattan's subway entrance! People hurried here and there, rushing to catch the next train while still making an effort at looking respectable. A man with a brief case bumped into her. She glaced up to glare at him, and saw that it wasn't really a man, but a woman! The green eye under the fedora winked at her, and the gloved hand beckoned. She warily eyed it. There was a sigh from the disguised lady, who then pulled out a silp of paper, pretended to examine it, causually drop it on the ground, and then walk a few feet away, staying just within Holly's eye sight. Holly glaced around to make sure that no one else was looking, and picked up the paper. When life gives you lemons... Her heart racced, she pulled out her pen with the UV light and walked to a nearby bench. 

To Miss Holly Chase:

This message has been delivered by one of my most trusted coworkers, Madame Carolina Smith. Do not be anxious, for it is not unusual for us to retrieve new trainees in disguise. Here is your first test. To pass it(and a great deal of other regular people) you must act as Madame Smith's adolecent daughter, who is unwilling to travel to vist her cousins. Make it as realistic as possible. And remeber, this is a test. You will be carefully evaluated.

May you journey in secrecy, 

Madame Charlotte 

P.S. your alias is to be Elizabeth Smith.

After finishing the note, Holly crumpled the note in a ball and attached it to the piece of gum she was chewing. She threw both in the garbage after a few more quick chews. Then she walked up to Madame Smith. "Mom," she said in her best whining voice. "Can't I please have some money for the vending machine? They have hot cheetos!" They did, she had checked.

"No darling," said Madame Smith, pulling off her hat with a sigh. "We must not be late to catch the train. Your cousins are anxiously waiting. You haven't seem them since you were 5!" 

Holly gave an exaggerated sigh. "Well I am not anxious to meet them. Are you sure I can't stay home?"

"Absolutly not, Elizabeth!"  Madame Smith put her arm around Holly's shoulder and "dragged her toward the ticket line.

When they finally got on the train Holly said, "I call the window seat!" She sat down and pretended to scowl. Madame Carolina pulled out a map. 

"Let's see. We get off here," she said, pointing to a station near the airport. Holly frowned, and this wasn't pretend. Just how far were they going? 

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Sorry for the long wait amigas, the computers in my house completely froze up and it took a bit to get them working again. More coming, and the next post will include more characters.

Great writing!

Great writing!

Nice writing! The invisible ink is a cool idea, and so is the test.