Chatterbox: Inkwell

Copyediting Services!!

Hey guys! So, I've noticed copy editing becoming really popular around the CB, and I'd love to try some, but everyone's already got one! So, I figured I'd just start a thread.

If you need a sto-ry ed-i-ted, come see Inktail's great big bed! Er...no....

Never mind about the jingle.

Anything you would like me to copy edit, post here! If you have a thread, let me know the title, and I'll post. ;) PLEASE NOTE: NO EDITS HAVE TO BE TAKEN TO HEART!!!! They're just suggestions! :) FYI, yes, I wrote the example, but I absolutely despise the way it's written. :/

Example:

Paragraph:

“No, it was nessecary. Please, I'm with the Rebellion-” Jóse sputtered.

Libby advanced on him, her temper flaring, eyes sparking madly. “What's the difference with you anymore? For twelve years, you tell me you're on my side. A month ago, you capture me and explain how you tricked me from birth. Now, you're switching around again!” Libby raised her hand, but hesistated ad lowered it.

“It makes me wonder,” She breathed quietly hot tears of anger in her eyes.

“What even is the difference between good and evil anymore?”

Editing: 

*"No, it was nessecary. Please, I'm with the Rebellion-” Jóse sputtered.* Okay, but rather lacking in action, as this is supposed to be set at a climax.

*Libby advanced on him, her temper flaring, eyes sparking madly. “What's the difference with you anymore? For twelve years, you tell me you're on my side. A month ago, you capture me and explain how you tricked me from birth. Now, you're switching around again!” Libby raised her hand, but hesistated ad lowered it.* I love the way you described her anger, but I don't like "Libby raised her hand, but hesistated and lowered it." I just don't like the display of physical violence here.

*“It makes me wonder,” She breathed quietly hot tears of anger in her eyes.

“What even is the difference between good and evil anymore?”*  Very emotional end. Very questioning, although vauge. Who is thought to be evil? Who is thought to be good? Maybe add some more detail.