I like the idea, Mei! I might be able to help some because I did a business plan for FBLA this year. So I see you have three bullet points. Is there a limit to how long they can each be? If not, I recommend adding more detail on the "whys" and "hows". That shows how you got the idea for it. But maybe more detail on how that particular idea took form. You got the inspiration, being that people can't be in multiple places at once. Also, maybe more on sort of that first step you took to creating the company. That goes along reasonably well with the background story.

Sorry, if that is hard to understand. I have a hard time explaining things like that. Good luck, though! You two will do amazing on the project. 

To start, try rephrasing: First bullet- The idea of our company started with [insert that co-founder's name her, who had difficulty having to be in different places at once.

Or a different approach: All great ideas start with a problem that is yearned to be solved. Our company was no different; it all started when [insert name here], one of our co-founders, was exasperated at having to be in multiple different places at once.

You can change around the wording, if you like. 

Hmm... good wording.

To expand, I suggest writing more about how it exactly came to be and who founded it (this could even be you or your friend's name). And I suggest  editing out the part in the first bullet about the multiple people, because you said the co-founder "personally" had the problem. Try making up a scenario where the founder experienced it (don't go too long on it though).

Then you could move the thing about multiple people to the second bullet, and try rephrasing it as "most people have to be in different places at once." Try noting specific places where the children have to be, to make it feel more personal.

On the third bullet you could have specific "hassles," too. Also, you could make up bits and pieces about how you found uses for your supplies to make your service to work. For creativity.