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Poetry Corner
Poetry Corner
I think I saw one of these when I was scrolling through semi-old threads, but I'm not sure I called it that. Anyway, this is a place to post your poems and get advice/comments on it. This is a place for friendly critique, but not unkindness. There isn't nearly enough poetry on CB, in my opinion.
Here is a (very long) one by me, if you have the patience to read it. It's called "You Think You Can Hear" but I'm considering changing it.
You think you can hear?
Just because your puny
ears
Can pick up loud,
wails
of sound?
You’re only
fooling yourself. You
can't hear
better than
a rock.
Why bother giving
you humans sound at all
When this beautiful power
is wasted
On headphones,
jammed indifferently onto ears
Howling,
Muddled,
Ugly,
Music?
Not likely.
I know what
Real music is.
Not one person has heard
what counts
if
they haven’t fought
to hear—
Blades of grass
Swishing in the wind
A river’s chuckle as it
trips merrily over
water-shined silver stones,
I see you beings,
I watch above from my perch,
You only pick up
The most obvious cries,
Of voices,
The maddening shrieks
Of human-made noise.
I can’t bear it,
When every morning,
I awaken,
sweet music—
True music—
flowing
Like a river
Out of my heart
You never hear, you never notice
me.
Not one of you
Has heard love
Has felt power,
suffering,
triumph,
emanating from a single sound.
Unless you’ve heard
Silence,
felt the peace,
of nature.
Which, I know,
is hard in your world
When honking horns and
The grinding of wheels against
A hard, concrete curb.
I know what you are thinking.
I want music,
You protest.
I’m looking for pure quiet,
but
It doesn’t exist.
That’s true.
Absolute silence is maddening.
What I mean is
Escape from all
Human-made sound.
Even after you know this…
You haven’t looked.
I see you
I sit patiently on your windowsill,
watching,
As you try in vain
to escape.
The closet
Behind the coats,
is the wrong place,
You’ve found.
Undertones ring in your ears
Voices
The oily sizzle of mom’s
frying pan.
Even the gentle hum
of
Air conditioning.
Peace isn’t the park either.
The crunch of a peanut in another’s mouth
Car wheels scrape the curb
In the background.
It seems impossible.
This I understand all too well.
I stay away from your towns
If at all possible,
Preferring to rest
In tranquil nature.
But remember I said “seems.”
But maybe,
Someday,
When you visit, possibly,
your Aunt Margaret, In
say, Maryland,
In her rural house
By the woods.
As you whine from
Lack of electricity
Your parents might just
Shoo you out to play
In the forest.
And as you angrily shuffle
your feet among the leaves
Sending my kind flapping nervously away
craving internet,
deeper you wander through the trees,
Till you pause to sulk
on a log,
Unmoving in your funk.
Slowly…
Your ears fill…
With a faraway babble
Of a brook,
A robin’s quiet chirp,
the gently sigh of a breeze
as it tickles your ear
and winds around your cheeks.
Then entranced,
You pause,
Listening,
Seemingly far away
From civilization.
Slowly,
You smile and stand up
As you walk
Peacefully, happily, away
I sigh and drift off
On a breath of wind,
I laugh— Maybe
Humans
Aren’t
So deaf
After all.
submitted by Abigail S., age 11, Nose In a Book
(December 27, 2015 - 12:43 pm)
(December 27, 2015 - 12:43 pm)
I read the whole thing! It's awesome!!!!! Maybe consider telling the readers who the animal you are speaking as is- I'm guessing you are an eagle. Also, what does "remember I said seems" mean? Besides that, it's great!!!
(December 27, 2015 - 7:54 pm)
In the poem, it states: It seems impossible. "remember I said seems" is a reflection that it only seems so, but that it isn't. I delibiratly didn't say what animal I am writing from the perspective of. I did drop some clues, so it should be obvious.
(December 29, 2015 - 1:55 pm)
Wow. I don't have the words to describe how beautiful that was. You're a great poet, Abigail!
(December 27, 2015 - 9:08 pm)
Really great, Abigail! I have a poem as well.
If you've been feeling
Like a foggy cloud surrounds your shoulders
And bogs your spirit down
Maybe
You need some chocolate
(Just a bit. You also need
exercise.)
If you've been doing jumping jacks
to get attention from anything
For hours
Maybe
You need a cat.
If you've been sitting, staring,
Petting the cat
Watching the world slip from your fingers
Waiting for rain to impale you
And make you numb as the hard metal TV,
Maybe
Just maybe
You need a friend.
(December 28, 2015 - 4:18 pm)
Oh Man Abigail!!! This poem is truly amazing, and really powerful!!! I can truly feel what the person/thing talking feels during the poem. It is simply breathtaking. I'm speechless right now! Don't change a single thing!!! Also, you're right there isn't that much poetry on the CB, and I'm glad you put something on here to recognize poetry. I'm sure all the poetry lovers are pleased!! I have a couple poems I wrote too, but I'll post them later.
(December 28, 2015 - 4:51 pm)
Wow, Abigail and OtR! I read both of yours and I love them!
@Abigail, for the most part yours was breathtaking, but there's one seriously little thing...I noticed that there was a spot when you were talking about the park when you said "a peanut nut". Just thought I should point that out. I don't think you meant to say that.
@OtR, yours was simply amazing and I found no typos. :)
Anyhoo, I have a poem too. I don't really know what it means; that's for you to interpret. ;) It's also kind of long and I don't thave a name for it, but I will accept suggestions if you have any that come to mind. Here it is:
The old is new
The new is gold
the bright shine sparkles
with tales untold
The robin's cry of a new dawning day
echoes in this empty cave
My heart is pure
proving through the strife
that true love and good spirit
can save a life
I had two friends once
They were not much
But still they accepted
My gentle touch
One was pure
Sparkling bright
She shined with her own light
That is for sure
The other was strong and brave
not a single thing could break his wave
of courage and ingenuity
The first one died
of a broken heart
Her "true love's kiss"
was a swing and a miss
The second one faded
after he was persuaded
to take the path of medicine
He promised to write
but never thought once
to make the flight
to come and see me
The old is new
The new is gold
The bright shine sparkles
with tales untold
The robin's cry of a new dawning day
echoes in this empty cave.
(December 28, 2015 - 6:27 pm)
Yeah, I just read it over and noticed that. It's a typo. It just should say "peanut".
(December 29, 2015 - 1:52 pm)
All I can say is fantastic. I am so lucky to be part of a community like the CB. I have a poem. It was on Hello's writing class thread. I thought it was good so I'll post it again here.
Silver
Swirls of color,
shimmer in dim light.
The moon knows.
It can tell you
about this color.
Silver the moon,
Gold the sun.
Silver the stars and the light
at dawn.
How can it be so whole
Yet so apart?
Vast galaxies-
faraway lands
The swirl of stars in the black night
The pigments of silver
in my inkwell.
I wrote this poem about my inkwell of silver ink. It's really pretty and I love to use it. I love it so much that I couldn't write just a small poem about it. You should see some actual poems. They can be pages long, so mine's not that long. But that's not relevant.
Do you like it? And can I maybe post more poetry later? I never imagined I'd like writing poems. Hah, just shows how some people change...
It's beautiful, Scylla! And I love reading poetry, savoring the meaning and beauty of the words and phrases.
Admin
(December 28, 2015 - 8:37 pm)
I love long epic poems, e.g. John Brown's Body by Stephen Vinent Benét.
(December 28, 2015 - 11:20 pm)
Aww, thanks, Admins! You guys are amazing!
(December 28, 2015 - 11:04 pm)
The lights
Flash by
on the road
They glide past the window of opportunity
'Till they're gone
Lost behind a curve,
a bend,
to never be seen again
That's the way things are
in life
Full of rushing,
and rushing,
and rushing
The lights on the cars--
Though they blind you in passing,
their time
is so short,
like a candle's last sputter
that announces its end
Until someone who cares
Someone who loves
Takes the time to blow on you,
Shield you,
and build you up
He is your Father,
The one who gives purpose
to your short,
busy life
He builds up your flame!
You're a bonfire
Strong and safe
But everyone has an end
When your bonfire
Is old
And the day is new
You collapse
But you die happy
For you found faith
and a purpose
and peace
and prosperity
and a life
and a home
And love
~Micearenice
(December 29, 2015 - 10:15 am)
Toppy top top pop!
(January 5, 2016 - 9:02 pm)
I have new stuff! The first is a haiku about black rice that I saw at a store once and the second is a diamonte about the violent rainstorm happening right now. top!
Black Rice
Miniscule shadows
Specks of darkness in my palm
Small grains of black rice
Rainstorm
Violent, tumultuous
Freezing, pricking, soaking
Watery, storming, gentle, beautiful
Shining, arching, glimmering
Colorful, magical
Rainbow
And these are some poems about Egyptian gods that I made for a Social Studies assignment a while back.
Geese sit atop his head
Earth is what he represents,
Bringing the birth of the world from an egg.
(Geb, the Earth God)
Bastet
Catlike, musical
Hunting, smiling, purring
Feline, goddess, scary, hybrid
Devouring, killing, watching
Crocodilian, lionlike
Ammit The Devourer
Anubis is the god of embalming.
He's called anything but calming.
He weighs dead ones' hearts
sending them to new starts.
The first one is some variation of an acrostic, the second a diamonte, and the third a set of couplets. I got a good grade on it, but it may be the accompanying pictures I drew with the poems XD.
(January 6, 2016 - 7:26 pm)
Here's one I wrote. I think I showed it to you guys once, but I'm not sure.
A Perfect October Night
There is a sort of sensation
When we sit down next to the bonfire.
Cooking hot dogs,
Marshmallows,
Peach cobbler.
Feeling the warmth of the fire.
The coolness of the night air.
The stickiness of the marshmallow in my mouth.
The chatter of my family's voices.
And as I gaze at the stars,
The bright, twinkling stars hanging high above our heads,
I think about the future.
The future ahead of us,
With us not knowing what will happen.
But I know one thing for sure.
It's October.
And October is wonderful.
---
I tried submitting it for a Cricket poetry contest, but it was denied. :/
(January 13, 2016 - 2:02 pm)
tip
top
gloop
pop
why stop?
Fine, I'll
Stop
(January 13, 2016 - 2:04 pm)