Chatterbox: Inkwell

NOVEL THREAD FOR ME!!!!!!!!!

Okaay, so I'm gonna post my novel. It's about a superheroine. (For those in my superhero rp, you might know who this is, though I changed her backstory ;)) I am hiding CBer names in my book; please comment if you want me to do yours! (Everinne's is in here!)

August 9, 2002

TEA Headquarters

            Leopold Dietrich swept around the bend of the hallway,
his stethoscope glinting in the cold light. Assorted underlings cast their eyes
down, not wishing to meet the cold, hard glare of those stone grey eyes.

            Aveleen O’Rourke sat calmly in the cold hospital room,
reading the books her mother had brought her yesterday. Voyage of the Dawn
Treader, it was called. She smiled as Leopold swept into the room. He didn’t
like that. No one else dared to meet his eyes, let alone smile. He scowled and
furrowed his brow.

            “Will my mom and dad come today?” she asked sweetly.

            Leopold scowled deeper, trying not to look uncomfortable
under the gaze of the greenish-turquoise eyes. “No.” he said, in a tone that
clearly said, ‘Shut up and whimper.’

            Little Aveleen just smiled and swung her small legs.

            Leopold tried not to slap her upside the head. He gritted
his spotless teeth and snapped.

            “It appears the- erm- experimental drug worked. You will
be…” he bit his tongue, “Released.”

            He barely withheld the urge to throttle her gleeful grin.

            “Thanks Mr. Leopold!” she said and ran out of the room.

            Leopold overturned the table. Ever since the girl’s
powers had gone dormant, Project ECHO had gone downhill. His assistant, a
gabbling man who was barely competent while dusting a shelf, let alone fifteen
files, stumbled and sent the papers sprawling.

            Leopold glared and picked up the papers. These were made
on the day, in 1998, when TEA told Deidre O’Rourke and Patrick O’Rourke that
their infant daughter had a fatal disease. Then they said they had an
experimental drug. Then they took the baby, allowing her parents to visit
often, and tested her with tectonium, their new chemical. She had exhibited
powers, but none anymore. The powers were dormant.

            After barking at his assistant to clean up the mess, he
strode down the hall to make sure the employees weren’t slacking off.

August 9, 2014

Forest

            Aveleen walked through the forest, the sultry summer sky
shimmering in the midsummer heat. A light wind tousled her hair, promising a
windy autumn. She shouldered her backpack and sat in the glen, slowly laying
down to rest.

            Suddenly another girl crashed through the brush, looking
different yet similar to Aveleen. The girl’s face looked normal, like any
average American girl. But her braid, which looked like it had once been neatly
tucked back, was now hanging off to the side, unkempt. It was dark blue, almost
black, and deep purple on the tips. The girl’s wide violet eyes looked scared,
like she had seen a ghost.

            Aveleen stood up, drawing her little dagger. Realizing
how hostile she looked, she sheathed the dagger and opened her mouth to speak.
The odd girl interrupted her.

            “Who are you and where am I?” the girl snapped.

            “In my forest, in Everinne.” Aveleen said, confused.

            The girl stopped to breathe, glaring at Aveleen as though
Aveleen had done something wrong. Aveleen grew increasingly uncomfortable as
the girl stared at her in intense concentration. The girl seemed surprised
after nothing happened.

            “Look, you didn’t hear anything, see anything, or talk to
me. Got it?” Mystery Girl snapped, scowling.

            Aveleen hesitated. “Got it, but….”

            The girl turned around, still scowling.

            “What?”

            “What’s your name?”

            The girl hesitated. “Lily.”

            Aveleen stared after her as the girl ran deeper into the
forest. Then Aveleen shrugged, crunched a cookie, grabbed her water bottle, and
slung her pack on her shoulder.

            “I’m going back to the house,” sighed Aveleen, deciding
there was no point in asking questions.

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I AM OPEN TO EDITING PLZ HELP!!!! \(**)/