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Hello people. I
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Hello people. I
Hello people. I am an insipiring author and was wondering if anyone could give me some pointers? I mean, I know about all the basics but I want to know how to make a story really some thing. I really need some help. If anyone knows any good writing camps I live in the Southeastern United States. Any other resources woul be grreatly appriciated. I would like to try to give you a sample of my writing so here it goes...
As Amme rushed down the almost empty hallways of Monroe Middle School she wondered, "Why am I always late?" SHe had thirty more seconds to the bell and still had a while to go. If she didn't make it, she would be in serious trouble with The Director.
That's right, Amme didn't just go to any normal school. She went to a school just for kids who would soon become the next generation of spies.
So, what do you think? Please be critical but not too mean. I think it might be a good story idea so no one steal it becaus it is mine. I hope someone can help me.
Thanks,
Dustfinger Fan
submitted by Dustfinger Fan, age 11, Inkheart
(February 27, 2009 - 7:47 am)
(February 27, 2009 - 7:47 am)
It's good! But, uhh . . . for criticism I think you need to post just a bit more! But so far, so good!
(February 27, 2009 - 12:08 pm)
That sounds great, and I will post more tomorrow, but where is the Welcome/ Information Page and how do you get to it?
Thanks,
Dustfingerfan
(February 27, 2009 - 7:42 pm)
I think it's ok! Maybe just a little bit more detail would be good!
(February 27, 2009 - 8:53 pm)
I have a story that has girls learning to become spies!! I think you need to describe more about how Amme was feeling when she was late and stuff. It's really good. Keep posting!
(February 27, 2009 - 4:43 pm)
Neat!
(February 27, 2009 - 5:57 pm)
I like in the southeastern US too! I've only been to one writing camp, a really good one called Write of Summer. They have it in South Carolina and Florida. Google it for more info.
As for what you posted, I think that the first paragraph is a good hook. I personally would think it would draw me in more to describe more of the scene and Amme's thoughts and such, before letting readers know what sort of school she goes to. Let them get to know Amme for possibly a couple paragraphs more before discovering she's destined to be a future spy.
And I like the name Amme!
P.S. The "Welcome/Information" thread is in Down to Earth.
(February 28, 2009 - 10:16 am)
How do you pronounce "Amme"?
(February 28, 2009 - 2:05 pm)
Pointers? Well, if I were you, Dustfinger Fan, I'd first learn how to spell "aspiring." Not "insipiring," which isn't even close. Sorry for being so cynical. Also, "something" is a compound word. Once again, my apologies.
Otherwise, though, you seem relatively good. I agree with Allison that you should put in a bit more about Amme (i.e. age, looks, personality, etc.), and her last name, but with some more description it's definitely got potential. Keep posting; it's a interesting story. It reminds me a bit of the book HIVE: Higher Institute of Villainous Education.
Once again, keep posting, and welcome to the Inkwell Chatterbox!
(February 28, 2009 - 3:15 pm)
You prononce Amme like Amy. I just spell it that way because it is cooler.
(February 28, 2009 - 3:38 pm)
It sounds like a kind of fusion of Harry Potter and H.I.V.E... (that's a good thing).
But perhaps a tad bit more detail...?
(February 28, 2009 - 5:43 pm)
That's a cool idea! But yeah, you should describe Amme and her surroundings more. I've always fantasized about writing a spy story. *sighs* I guess I just never got around to it. *looks sadly at the ground.*
(February 28, 2009 - 5:58 pm)
Pointers:
Don't do too many books at a time; my limit is three, but right now I'm doing two. :D
Use a thesaurus: there's one on my computer
I think you meant to say "aspiring author" instead of inspiring
If you need help with spelling, use a dictionary or spellcheck.
Spammy says "wgpk" is that some sort of pig?? :)
(November 9, 2011 - 1:00 pm)