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Ways To Annoy
Ways To Annoy Lord Voldemort (Hah, Voldemort's in the world around me ... )
Because I saw it somewhere. And it looked like fun. Here is my original list. Feel free to add.
1. Call him Voldy.
2. Call him Tom. Or, if you're feeling really brave, Tommy.
3. Call him Mr. Riddle.
4. Say, "You know, I really do think it's about time you and Bella got together.
5. Say, "It's not nice to hurt people. It's mean. And we don't want to be mean, do we? Of course not."
6. Point your finger at him and say, in a sing-song voice, "Moldy old Voldy! Look at Moldy Voldy!" Fall down laughing.
7. Say, "You know, this whole 'I must kill Harry Potter' thing is getting really old."
8. Give him a birthday present. Like a teddy bear. Or a dollhouse.
9. Give him a Valentine ...
10. ... and misspell his name on it.
11. Mispronounce his name. ("Voll -- Voll-dee --" "Voldemort." "Mind if I just call you Bob?")
12. Say, "You're a big fat meanie!"
13. Tell him you think he's cute.
14. Pet Nagini. (Or at least try to.)
15. Tell Nagini, "Oh, oo's a good wittle snakey wakey, yes oo is!"
16. If you're with another witch or wizard, casually turn to them while Voldemort's talking and say, "So, as I was saying earlier ...." Have a completely unrelated conversation.
submitted by ZNZ, age Ageless, That's for me t
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
This thread still better be alive!
No ????. Annoy him. Period.
The end.
(June 1, 2010 - 6:06 pm)
Oh my gosh, I showed my cousins this, they kept repeating it all day. THANKS ZNZ!!!
(June 6, 2010 - 5:13 pm)
NO! Top, top, top! *gives thread CPR*
NDT: Switch his bed with a coffin. Before he goes to sleep, close it.
*wanders to homemade annoyance list* hmm...
-Take an empty toilet-paper roll, cover up the back, place egg inside,
punch a hole in the back with a stick, when he comes by, shove the stick in.
-Get a bag with tomatoes in it. When he comes walking under it, drop it.
-Pretend you thought he was a mosquito.
There are maaaaany more, but I can't list'em all...
END OF NDT"S MESSAGE
-Whenever he goes over one of his plans to murder people, march around behind him holding a toy rifle and whistling Civil War tunes.
-Say, "You know, I really don't think that Nagini is a proper pet for you. Get something less...I don't know, dangerous, like a hamster. Or a Yorkshire terrier. As for these...these Death Eater people, I suggest you hang around with more (NDT:age)appropriate people. (NDT:like old men.)" Make sure you say all this in a motherly tone.
-Whenever he starts talking, say "Yes, yes. I quite agree. Of course, you're absolutely right. Good show, old chap." Whenever he stops, say, "No no, by all means, go on, go on."
-Steal his wand and wave it around in his face. Snatch it away whenever he reaches for it. Say, "Ah, ah, ah-getting tricksy, are we?"
-When he stops and says something like, "Give my wand back, stupid Muggle, or I am going to kill you with my bare hands," say, "Um, ew," and walk away with his wand.
-Choose your five favorites out of these things. Or ten favorites. Or however many it takes to get him to say, "That's it! Prepare to die a slow and painful death." When he says this, or something like it, say, "You're mean," in a baby voice, cross your arms, and pout at him.
-Have Harry, Ron, and Hermionie read this out loud. Take a video of them doing it-and, most likely, laughing hysterically-and show him.
NDT: Drape'Fffffffffffdryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiggggg' on his door. Under it: "Written by Voldydork when he was 18. Aparrentley, he Never grew out of baby language."
-Call him Mr. DryHumor.
-Make sure his plumbing stays on 'hot'.
END OF NDT'S 2nd MESSAGE
-When you see him, suddenly say, "Oh. My. Gosh. Are you the Voldemort? I've been a total fan of yours since, like, forever..." And on. And on. And on.
-Turn on GoF to his first scene. Say, "Yes, that's the actor they got for you. No, it isn't a dreadful mistake. I think he's better, personally. In all respects. Including looks."
-Say, "I know a show you might like...but it might be a little grown-up for you..." Recommend Dora. Or anything else annoying for little kids.
Andy P. C. says dtvc.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(June 8, 2010 - 11:32 pm)
*CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *CPR* *Heart-shock**Heart-shock**Heart-shock**Heart-shock**Heart-shock**Heart-shock**Heimleich**Heimleich**Heimleich**Heimleich**Heimleich**Heimleich*
OK. That might help.
One more:
-Say, "Your eyes are creepy." Hand him a pair of sunglasses.
-Say it again, the next day, but this time give him some color-changing contact lenses labeled "Harry Potter Green." When he glares at you, just say, "What? It's a nice color!"
Andy P. C. says ofzk. NDT: he said ofnd once! Offend! or Fond! Wolfgirl67: Yes, but now he means OFF! GET OFF!
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(June 9, 2010 - 12:28 pm)
-Tell him, "You know, Nagini's not very scary. Maybe you should get a teddy bear instead"
-Give him a teddy bear to replace Nagini. Make sure it has lots of ribbons tied to it. Pink ones.
-Give him a list of the world's worst villians. Make sure that his is the only name written on it.
-Later, give him another list of the world's worst villians, one that doesn't have his name on it. When he gets happy about not being on the list, tell him that you made a mistake -- it was the best villian list.
(June 9, 2010 - 5:20 pm)
When he's about to kill someone, run up to him and say: "Is that a mask? Because Halloween was months ago."
Give him a brush, comb, and shampoo (all pink) and then say "Oops, these won't work!" Giggle. Then give him a pink Elvis wig.
(June 16, 2010 - 10:59 am)
top top top top top top top top
(October 16, 2010 - 6:56 pm)
TOP
(April 3, 2011 - 8:04 am)
I know this thread is dead now, but I thought of a good one last night, and I had to share it. Someone else already came up with it, but not for Voldemort, and it would annoy him more than anyone else in the world. Anyway...
Every time you finish a sentence--or would--add 'in accordance with the prophecy' with complicated hand gestures. Bonus points if you 'accidentally' hit him.
(April 30, 2011 - 10:32 pm)
Top!
(April 30, 2011 - 10:32 pm)
Top!
(April 30, 2011 - 10:33 pm)
Top!
(May 4, 2011 - 7:31 pm)
Okay, I haven't read everything, but I soon will, so apologies if I posted the same thing as anyone.
1. Tell him to get a nose.
2. Tell him he needs to get a manicure.
3. Tell him Harry destroyed all his Horcruxes, he's old and he'll die from old age soon.
4. Tell him how Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ends.
5. Tell him Draco Malfoy's better than him because Malfoy was transferred to Pigfarts, is being taught by Rumbleroar and McGonagills, and Malfoy has a spaceship. *nods*
I am obssessed with AVPM (A Very Potter Musical) and AVPS (A Veyr Potter Sequel). Sorry 'bout that...
(July 16, 2011 - 1:35 pm)
1. Take him everywhere and introduce him to all your friends by saying "Hello, this is my new friend, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. If we name him, he does VEWY SCAWY THINGS. Sometimes, he even (in a whisper) chases after people."
2. Say to him, "Guess what! I've arranged a playdate with you and one of my good friends (this would be such a lie for me- I'm not a Twilight fan- but anything to annoy Voldy, right?). His name is Edward Cullen! Oh, don't give me that look! He may be a vampire, but he's SPARKLY! Just like that Barbie dress you like! And he's brought a very special someone with him named Bella. I'm sure you can call up Bellatrix so the two of them can play dollies together."
3. After making him listen to E.T. by Katy Perry, tell him, "Look at yourself! Very pale skin, skinny arms, lack of nose, tendency to scream. You must be an alien! Can you tell me a bit about your childhood...."
Will post more later. Loved Olive's #4! Laughed so hard! I'm guessing that means Harry wins?.....haven't read the books, but know enough to know how to annoy Voldemort....
(July 16, 2011 - 6:15 pm)
Oh! And rub it in his face that he can't see Thestrals. (He's never loved anybody so...)
(July 16, 2011 - 4:50 pm)