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Ways To Annoy
Ways To Annoy Lord Voldemort (Hah, Voldemort's in the world around me ... )
Because I saw it somewhere. And it looked like fun. Here is my original list. Feel free to add.
1. Call him Voldy.
2. Call him Tom. Or, if you're feeling really brave, Tommy.
3. Call him Mr. Riddle.
4. Say, "You know, I really do think it's about time you and Bella got together.
5. Say, "It's not nice to hurt people. It's mean. And we don't want to be mean, do we? Of course not."
6. Point your finger at him and say, in a sing-song voice, "Moldy old Voldy! Look at Moldy Voldy!" Fall down laughing.
7. Say, "You know, this whole 'I must kill Harry Potter' thing is getting really old."
8. Give him a birthday present. Like a teddy bear. Or a dollhouse.
9. Give him a Valentine ...
10. ... and misspell his name on it.
11. Mispronounce his name. ("Voll -- Voll-dee --" "Voldemort." "Mind if I just call you Bob?")
12. Say, "You're a big fat meanie!"
13. Tell him you think he's cute.
14. Pet Nagini. (Or at least try to.)
15. Tell Nagini, "Oh, oo's a good wittle snakey wakey, yes oo is!"
16. If you're with another witch or wizard, casually turn to them while Voldemort's talking and say, "So, as I was saying earlier ...." Have a completely unrelated conversation.
submitted by ZNZ, age Ageless, That's for me t
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
(April 14, 2010 - 7:50 pm)
@Adina:
*Introduce him to youtube, namely Potter Puppet Pals.... preferrably the episode where he uses mustaches for world domination. When you come to the end of this clip, pause it and say, "Look! You made your best friend Snape feel humiiated. And- oh my! Is that the Potter boy I see throwing books at him? My, you make people act up! You should be ashamed of yourself."
Also, show him his big scene at the end of Mysterious Ticking Noise. Tell him, "My, I never knew you had such a lovely voice! I'm sure you wouldn't mind dropping that plan of yours to kill Harry Potter to start a Death Eater Show Choir..." and so on.
(April 3, 2011 - 8:02 am)
Hilarious!
~Say: Hey Voldy! I didn't know your mother was a Garbage Lady! Did she use you as the Garbage Dump?
~When he's around with a couple of your friends, pretend that you're Voldemort and that your friends are Harry. Be totaly freaked out by 'Harry'.
~Say: Nagini is a baby's pet! Not a bad wizard's pet!
~Throw a copy of How to Improve your Spells a Whole Lot so That You can Defeat Little Kids at Least by Badwiz Ard Curse.
My annoying little sister wants to know why in the world we would want to do this, ZNZ (she refuses to read HP).
(April 23, 2010 - 8:37 pm)
- Sing "Abra Cadabra". It really is a song, but I don't know if that's how you spell it. All I know of it is "Abra abra cadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya".
- Make him watch Lord of the Rings and whenver Sauraman comes up, say "see, that's how a real villain acts".
- Make him play with Barbies, pick up a really pretty one wearing a pink frilly dress, hold it out to him and say "Here you can play with the pretty one! *gasp in a girlish way* And lucky you! You can play with the perty perty pony!" Hold out pony.
- Make him take ballet lessons.
- Put him on a game show and every time he gets an answer wrong make a loud abnoxious noise so it sounds like a buzzer.
- Dress him up as a clown.
- Start a food fight and throw as much food at him.
-☺☻
(April 24, 2010 - 11:47 am)
More:
*Spray evil lair with febreeze and all the perfume you can find.
* Organize Death Eater labor union
*Organize death eater labor union and storm around with signs.
* Tell everybody that Voldy gets his eyebrows waxed
* Beat Voldemort at wizard chess
* Beat Voldemort at Mercy
*Beat Voldemort at ping pong.
* Beat Voldemort at Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
*Beat Voldemort at the Friends trivia game.(he loves Friends)
*Beat Voldemort at everything. He is a sore loser.
* Beat Voldemort at everything while posessing a one year old.
*Sign Voldemort up for facebook and send him random group invitations to clutter up his inbox!!!! mwahahahahaha!!!!!
(April 27, 2010 - 3:05 pm)
OK, these are hilarious! Although, as Brynne said, you might want to rethink the whole 'force-him-to/make-him-do' something thing....
Here are mine, in any case:
-Whenever Bellatrix and he are in the same room together, sing "Here comes the bride, big fat and wide, here comes the groom, skinny as a broom!" in as loud a voice as possible. Repeat ad nauseum.
-Add, every time, after 'skinny as a broom,' "not to mention white as a sheet of paper."
-Walk into his room with a tiger and say, "See, THIS is a scary pet!" Proceed to point at Nagini and laugh hysterically.
-Dress up as a little kid and say, "You awe a meanie, Voldy-more! Meanie, meanie, meanie!" Then put the full Body-Bind Curse on him.
-Every time he comes out of a door, run past as fast you possibly can. Repeat.
-Draw a mustache on his face while he's sleeping.
-While you're on your knees saying, "Pleasepleaseplease don't kill me," suddenly say, "In accordance with the prophecy," and whack him in the head.
-Also on the prophecy line: Whenever he finishes saying something, say, "In accordance with the prophecy," and smack him in the face.
-Whenever he's walking down the street, suddenly scream and jump on his back, and shout at the top of your lungs, "I've caught a heffalump!" Bonus points if you dress up as Harry.
Andy P. C. says pwer. Yes, we know he's got power, Andy, we're just having a bit of fun...although I'd like to try explaining that to Voldemort...
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(April 28, 2010 - 8:25 pm)
Oh yeah, alternate, "Here comes the groom" ending: "Where is the groom? In the dressing room. Why is he there? He lost his underwear-not to mention he's ugly."
And here are a couple more:
-While he's sleeping, put up big posters that say, "Harry Potter's Biggest Fan!" all over his walls.
-Follow him around all day with a notebook and pen, writing down everything he does. When he says, "What are you doing?" hand him your notebook. Make sure you wrote above everything he did: Observations of a Straaaaaaaange Creature Who is Ugly and Thinks He Is a Competent Wizard.
-When you're talking to him, suddenly call him "Voldy." When he asks you, "What did you just call me?" say, "Oh nothing," and skip away. Repeat with Bob, Mr. Grumpy, Voldemort (pronouncing the T), Voldedork, or whatever other annoying nickname you can come up with.
Andy P. C. says dfkz.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(April 29, 2010 - 9:18 pm)
*whispers* Wolfgirl? You're supposed to pronounce the T.
Give him a subscription to American Girl magazine.
(April 30, 2010 - 3:36 pm)
@ZNZ: Actually, you're not. It's the French pronounciation. Although I thought you were at first, apparently JKR had other thoughts.
Andy P. C. says cdhb.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(April 30, 2010 - 5:24 pm)
You aren't, actually. JKR says it properly, and Jim Dale pronounces it correctly in the audiobooks, and everyone else is just lazy. Including the people who make the movies...
I think it sounds cooler with the t, personally.
(April 30, 2010 - 5:33 pm)
Some1 shud post all of doze wayz 2 anoy him.
WAAIT!
-put extra-sharp cleets on his shoes that say, "I"M A DORK!' so that he'll leave a trail whereever he goes.
-Color his face pink.
-say, "hey Dorkedork. why did you get a daiary and never write in it? anyway, now i got a much more suitible one for you." hand him a pink flowery one that says, 'The Diary of A Cutie' on the cover and says the same thing whenever you open it in an annoiingly sweet voice. run.
-give him a peice of paper, marked as urgent. make sure nothing is inside-or make it talk and say, "You're a Cutie!" in an annoiingly sweet voice. make sure you're on the other side of the world by now.
okay.
Vick says wevh.
~~NDT~~
(April 30, 2010 - 7:30 pm)
*is embarrassed* *runs away* *hides* Sorry! I never heard it pronounced correctly.
(April 30, 2010 - 7:34 pm)
Hehe I finally have some more!
- Bake him a bunch of swirly pink cupcakes, and give them to him when he's in a bad mood. But when he tries to make them explode (or vaporize) tell him that he's being mean, and go tell on him. (that was pretty long)
- Get him a mood bracelet that's broken so it stays on romantic. (make sure he never takes it off) Whenever you see him look at the bracelet and say Ooh Laa Laa (yeah I know it's weird)
- Ask him ow old he is, whatever he says add twnty years and say Oh I though you were about __
GTG for now!
(May 1, 2010 - 7:08 am)
I have few
- Tell him he looks like a girl
- Say, "You know why Harry's name is Harry? Cuz he's got hair and you don't"
- Give him a necklace like the one Lavender gave Ron that says My Sweetheart
- Cast a spell on Lavender so that she falls in love with him and calls him "Volly-Volly"
(May 9, 2010 - 1:00 pm)
Would'nt that make VoldyDorkyCutiePie kill Lavender?
-Call him VoldyDorkyCutiePie.
UUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!
Vick says vxok.
~~NDT~~
(May 18, 2010 - 6:04 pm)
It'd still annoy him.
(May 23, 2010 - 9:55 pm)