Places to Chat
Hilarity Thread!
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Hilarity Thread!
Hilarity Thread!
I've wanted to start this thread for ages :) It's like the Funny Quotes thread, but for funny things in general! The idea is that when you're down and you need something happy, you can come here and find something that will make you laugh. Post funny things your friends have said, like with the previous threads, but also just anything that makes you laugh! Stories from school, things you've seen, quotes from books, limericks, anything goes!
submitted by Poinsettia, age ?, a sea of crystal waters
(September 5, 2024 - 8:35 pm)
(September 5, 2024 - 8:35 pm)
List of funny things my Humanities teacher has said
- THE CONSTITUTION IS KING, BOW DOWN TO IT! *proceeds to throw her copy of the constitution on the ground, bowing to it*
- Call me mamacino (her last name rhymes with cappucino) because I am YOUR mother in the classroom!
- *learning about democracies and different types of governing* In this classroom, I am your dictator. You must do what I say. Except you get freedom of movement for going to the bathroom so I guess I'm not a dictator?
List of funny things my ENglish teacher has said
- *friend tells class about something not so good that her brother did* DOBBER! TATTLETALE! GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM! I WILL NOT HAVE A DOBBER IN MY CLASSROOM!
- What is this, a potty parade! No more bathroom usage! *proceedes to ignore the kid who casually walked out of the classroom going to the bathroom*
(October 30, 2024 - 1:20 pm)
excellent :D
(November 6, 2024 - 4:00 pm)
"Math olympiad is a geeky club." - my math teacher
(November 6, 2024 - 8:55 pm)
Some quotes for you! C and J are two boys in one of my classes. C is an amiable, fun boy with blond hair and glasses; J is a laconic, romantical-looking boy who says the most original/interesting things, with longish brown hair (basically like Prince Caspian in the movie). Everyone was supposed to mock-interview each other the other day, so here's what transpired when C interviewed J:
C: So what does your wife think of you?
J: She abhors me. She took the house and the kids, and left me with the dog and the car.
C: So do you live in the car?
J: Yes.
S: I sincerely hope he's just fooling around.
C: So I see you're nearing retirement age, what does your pension look like at this point?
And so on. It was hilarious.
I also went to a Punch and Judy show in October and it was also hilarious:
Judy: Where's our baby?
Audience: He threw it out the window!
Judy: Why, what a nasty thing to say about Mr. Punch! *considers* Mr. Punch, did you throw our baby out the window?
Punch: Well... just a little bit!
Judy: How could you? Our only baby!!
Punch: I'm sorry, I'll know better next time!
***
Punch gets bitten on the nose by a dog, and has the doctor come:
Doctor (very self-important): You have marvellus caninus.
Punch: What does that mean?
Doctor: It means a dog bit you on the nose.
***
Punch is almost arrested!
Jailer: You must go in by this door.
Punch: This door here?
Jailer: No no, this door here! (this continues for a bit)
Jailer: Oh very well I suppose I must demonstrate, i suppose I am a professional after all. You go in like this. (goes into the jail)
Punch: And you close the door like this! (jails the jailer)
All this while there was a young man standing by the stage, telling the audience what was going on, occasionally reprimanding Punch, and at intervals exclaiming, "Ohhh!" whenever something dramatic happened. At the end, which was a tragical one, he began to sing, and everyone joined in - then it turned out that the end wasn't tragical, and he led us in giving three cheers for Punch and Judy. Super fun, people should do more Punch and Judy shows instead of always watching TV :)
(November 9, 2024 - 9:32 pm)
Welcome to Gaming Moments with my Brother!
me: WHAT ARE YOUR FEET DOING
my brother: WHAT ARE MY FEET SUPPOSED TO DO
me: NOT THAT
my brother: *accidentally launches himself off of a moving object*
me: GET YEETED
me: *absolutely destroys a bunch of enemies* rate that fight one to ten.
my brother: hmm, negative three. you didn't set enough things on fire.
my brother: is that a... cassowary?
me: its clearly an ostrich, do you not know what an ostrich looks like. first you mix up crows and toucans and now you mix up cassowaries and ostriches.
my brother: that was ONE TIME okay
(November 11, 2024 - 1:33 pm)
one time when I was really little I went to a Yankees game with my family and the mascot got too close and I punched him! I was like 1 so i don't think it hurt.
(November 14, 2024 - 3:28 pm)
An assortment of funny things my friends have said.
"I almost got murdered by a flying sandwich!"-R.D.
"You're not joyed."-C.F.
"I inhaled something I shouldn't have."-R.D.
"They were dissecting pickles!"-C.C.
"He's a fifteenager!"-V.G.
"She's allergic to bananas!"I am?"-S.M.&S.P.
"No,no,not cocomelon."-C.C.
"I got married at the school cafeteria."-C.Y.
"Are we talking about actual rats or siblings?"-S.P.
"Do not eat your hearts."-Me
"GRACE!!!"proceeds to slap me in the face(accidentally)-E.W.
"She can't have"FRICK!"toes"-Me&E.M.
(November 14, 2024 - 6:18 pm)
all of these are so funny XD
here's some things my friends have said:
"Sorry, when it comes to birds I only know about the horrifying ones."
"Is violence allowed in this classroom?"
"Aw c'mon I was trying to befriend that squirrel."
"I LOVE THIS PINK PEN!"
"Dino nuggets are my life."
"I went to prison school at one point"
"(friend's name), what did you do to your hair, you're going bald."
"Don't steal your grandma's stapler!"
"Human fat makes the best soap."
(November 18, 2024 - 1:42 pm)