The feeling of gratitude and joy when somebody says yes to you

hi to whoever's reading this. I know this is a really long post, and I know this is a really big thing to ask, but if you at all have time/at all have interest, could you please read this whole post (just reading, you don't have to comment ofc :) )? You ofc def don't have to, just... I really don’t want to feel like I'm screaming into the void rn?? Idk. This isn't even really anything important or life-changing, just rants, I just want to know that I'm being heard and that someone's listening and idk someone is reading this and I'm not alone. Just really I really don't want to feel like I'm screaming into the void that first way describes it best. Uh, thanks, either way. <3 *cookies*

actually please ignore that please don't feel any obligation to read this really it's like just rants I'm rereading it and I'm like wow I'm not sure if you lizards want to waste your time to read that

and sorry to Sterling for clogging up this thread... also thank you for this thread

I really want to say sorry to admins but I mean I'm gonna post this anyways and I feel really bad but that doesn't change that you have to read this so idk um if it helps sorry but if it doesn't (also even if it does) then just thank you so much

mxmtoon just released "i hate texas" and IS RELEASING A THIRD ALBUM AHHHHHHH

and ofc my animals of ~cuteness~, courtesy of various ppl of the CB, please go look them all up: 

- snakes in hats

- blow-dried cows

- sea sheep

- arabian sand snakes

- mary river turtles

- baby bermuda petrels

- dino comics (NOT to be confused with Dinosaur Comics)

- prob more I'm forgetting

also I finished Gravity Falls and was like nooo so now I'm just rewatching that and TOH all over again and it's awesome :P

also when you cry but they're HAPPY tears :D bc I am really excited. bc I can like see myself as this different person who is totally herself and I can see myself being myself in public and I thinkk I've found my people (besides y'all lizards and my amazing irl friends ofc (just only thing is my friends don't really get get it? My BFF is the closest to getting it I think but she still doesn't, not that she isn't amazing, which she totally is, just she's very much not as serious as I am about it and just doesn't get it. But actually also my BFF for positive things, because I'm sooo lucky to have her and we met when we were babies and it's a whole story but we've always been BFFs and she's literally the best I'm really so lucky and happy to have her she's the best and besides that we're so alike it's amazing like I've never really met anyone else like either one of us)) except I won't really know until over a year from now and over a year isn't too long to wait to find your people right except that it's only been two days and now I'm just barely sustaining on daydreams and I'm wondering if my parents can make it through over a year of me being soooooooooooo excited so that's all I can talk about and even though I can't wait I still want to enjoy every day and not be so excited so that life only "starts" again in over a year y'know so that's what I'm mostly worried about but also I'm just excited like I'm excited like I'm just super excited and I actually really-more-than-anything (not rly but) want something and it feels exhilerating like I know that I'm gonna do everything I can and work towards this and even wash the dishes with dish soap (BLECH) if I need to idk it feels like a power boost and I just have to make it through this school year which I can do... that and I'm scared something's gonna go wrong and that's literally how excited I am.

but I've literally never met anyone in my life who GETS it. So. I'm just sort of. I'm sort of freaking out here. It's amazing. I really can't. I feel like I'm a character in a book. It's like, and I'm gonna be like completely alone and it's gonna be so freeing, no you need to socialize with your amazing family now except you really don't want to socialize with them and now they think you don't want to spend time with them and you feel really guilty but also really relieved that you don't have to talk to them and also they chalk it all up to being a teenager and so now you also feel really annoyed and frustrated at that because it's like what just because I'm a teenager I don't need to have reasons for my feelings anymore and you're just gonna assume things except when I say that you say okay communicate then and you sound so reasonable because you talk so well under pressure except I really don't and all my conversation starts spluttering and I'm spluttering and it's such a contrast to your reasonableness and I really just can't and why is it so hard to communicate and I can't explain things and ughhh. If that makes sense. Also just my family's amazing but they also really don't get it. No one I know is like me so. And I really need people like me rn bc the only people I can talk to is you lizards except I can't like actually TALK to you and meet you and laugh with you y'know? And no one else understands my rants bc the things I like are so esoteric Ig (no one knows mxmtoon, no one knows TOH, no one knows Gravity Falls, no one knows SoC, no one knows WoF (fine people do but they're not like half as excited as I am about it and also don't stalk Tui's blog which I'm pretty sure y'all don't either but I can chatter a mile a minute about it here bc y'all are fine with it which thank you for that bc I really love talking about things I love :P), no one (including me :/) knows D&D, no one knows trying to get away from the "mainstream" (Ik I shouldn't just judge/stereotype everything "mainstream" into one thing and avoid it with no base but I'm surrounded by it and I've seen what it does to ppl and it's kind of horrible in that respect like why does the "mainstream" in general have to be so horrible I really don't understand that) no one knows writing novels, no one knows self-isolation (I'm pretty sure), no one knows... queerness... I mean not in the way that I know it, no one knows living and breathing writing, etc. etc.) and it just sorta hurts when I'm the only one ever who's freaking out about a new song or this one episode or this scene in this book that's just as great the second time around or actually no it doesn't really hurt because I'm the only one (though actually I take that back it does) but also it "hurts" because every single other person I know of are all into the exact same things and they all have their people and it's so easy and when a new song comes out everyone knows how it feels but when a new song from like mxmtoon comes out no one understands and I'm the only one different (feels like it at least) and whenever I try to share my interests ppl either get tired of it super quickly bc they're really just not interested and when you're not interested there's only so much you can take or they literally just. I don't know. It's just hard. And for some reason I feel like I should like being lonely because I want to be alone so often and also I self-isolate but I just really Do Not. This is a rant sorry please ignore that. But I mean that's what I'm saying so. I'm like I'm idk---I said ignore that rant bc I'm really not feeling like that now that I've found this like all I've been feeling is excitement and it's awesome and it's that kind of excitement that I know is never gonna run out. I'm so excited. I'm so HAPPY. MY MOM is excited. I just. This is amazing.

and also I'm just really grateful to my parents for seeing how much this means to me and agreeing to this and just thank youuuuuuuu idk I want to go spread some joy into the world 

Aww this is such a good idea :) It reminds me a bit of the Opposite of Pet Peeves, which was always a super happy, positive thread to look through. Glad it's basically back :]

-A smell that you just lOvE

-When you see and listen to and are with someone very, very, very, very cute

-Listening to your favorite music for hours on end

-A really good night's sleep (this is one of the points of existence)

-Laughing so hard your eyes start to water

-When other people say exactly what you think (which is the reason I love the CB <3)

Be back with more later

- Tea at just the right temperature

- Learning a new thing / coming up with a solution on your own and it working

- Telling a joke that lands perfectly

- Taking a warm shower after a long day and changing into fresh clothes (bonus points if your room is a little chilly, so you can wrap yourself up without getting too warm) 

- Having just the right words to express a certain feeling, and watching them all click together 

- Seeing a finished product after putting in a lot of work

- Clean glasses

- Squishmellows 

- Music that hits just right 

(Inkling says "tbwet" what's wet?? but yay inky said and actual word!)

-getting compliments from strangers/ppl you don't know very well/new friends/or old friends for that matter/anyone rly as long as theyre not creepy

-being called cute/my outfit or makeup is cute 

-well for me since im going to a new school and i only really knew 1 person before, getting to be friends with ppl 

-or at least friendly w/ppl so they smile and wave in the hallway at me <33333 

-my friend from camp actually liking/loving the reactions and monologues i send her abt soc and other things too <333

-speaking of: Six of Crows aaaaaaa <333333333333333333333 

-feeling pretty

-greek goddess shirts/dresses

-my complete rainbow of button-ups (with multiples of some colors)

-did i mention soc lol 

oh inkling says "mpwyw" which ofc when i saw "wy" i thought of wylan but also it could be "wlw" and those are both very good things <333 

-CB!!! :D  

-cHoCoLaTe

-pie []

-Looking at the moon at night

-running in circles until you fall over laughing

-writing poetry

-breathing

-butterflies

-dragonflies

-stuffed animals

-squishy keychains

-baby animals

-kawaii stickers

-oranges

-soft dirt

-cold leaves

-holding icecubes in the palm of your hand

-piano music

-harp music

-talking to friends/classmates

-drawing flowers 

-reading the Bible, or books about genetics, or good poetry :D 

Good point Lyric yes CHOCOLATE and CB

-a wonderful book that just leaves you smiling at the end

-BTS

-A picture drawn just right 

-the people that make the world a better place

-a kind smile from a stranger