@Jaybells --

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

@Jaybells --

@Jaybells --

hi! i hope you had a wonderful christmas.

i heard about what happened to your friend that recently passed away. i can't even begin to relate to or express how sorry i am--that's horrible. i'm sorry if this sounds like a really sucky condolonces letter or something--i'm...not the best at expressing myself that way--but...i want you to know that i'm praying for you and your friend's family, and that if you need anything, i'm here for you. i love you (/p)!

do you want to talk about it? if not, then that's totally fine. 

submitted by endless_parodies, they/faer
(December 26, 2023 - 9:49 pm)

back to the Down to Earth

I posted earlier today much idk if it's gonna go up any time soon cause it was pretty long and from the heart which does not always go over well here lol. Just want to let you know I do see this 

That comment is still under review, Jaybells, because, as you say, it was very long.

Admin

submitted by Jaybells , again
(December 27, 2023 - 10:17 pm)

OK, I don't think my first post is going to get through... I'll be taking some time to edit and resubmit. Sorry about that.

In the meantime, I went to the wake and have talked more with some mutual friends, and feel a bit better. Time is sometimes half the solution, so I'm thinking things are looking up a little now; for this situation, at least.

submitted by Jaybells, Lost
(January 2, 2024 - 12:59 am)

Hi so I know I already offered my sympathies on the Confessions thread, but I've still been thinking about you since then and I just wanted to say this. I promise you that things will get better; the loss of a friend is very hard to face, but as you said once, "stay chin-above-the-water and eventually you'll get to a better place. Things will change, and the scales will turn - not all for better, not all for worse." (I found this while going through the back pages of Random Thoughts/Things; it's part of a beautiful message you wrote to Tsuki once. I hope you don't mind if I second it and "pass it on", so to speak, back to you. I'm including the link here, so that if you ever feel like you need it, you can read it and feel the strength and encouragement that it gives: https://www.cricketmagkids.com/chatterbox/downtoearth/node/394863?page=4...

I've been thinking a lot of what you said about your friend being a person who passionately loved life, and that this was where the tragedy lay. While nothing will ever really change that, perhaps there is a way to erase some of that tragedy - by drawing inspiration from this friend, allowing the eagerness and joy that you have witnessed to infuse itself into your own life. Live life the way your friend would have wanted you to, as a way to honor the memories you shared together. Perhaps your friend, even in death, can give you the strength to carry on and create a life of love and happiness. Some of the wrongness of death can sometimes be turned into something beautiful. Maybe in this case it can happen that way too. At any rate, it might help you to move toward something positive, to come out of the struggle you're going through and find a happy ending.

I hope this doesn't seem like I'm minimizing or romanticizing your sorrow - that isn't my intention at all, and I am so, so sorry for your loss.  It's just something that I thought might be a possible way of beginning to heal. You deserve support and comfort, and I really hope this has given you at least a little of that <3

submitted by Poinsettia@Jaybells
(January 2, 2024 - 10:38 pm)

Thank you, Poinsettia.

I hear your point about taking on their passion for life -- it's tough because for so long I've actually been in the opposite camp. Where they loved life and embraced it with open arms, I've often seen it as more of a burden or hurdle that I'm not particularly interested in attempting to conquer. In fact, it's often really hard for me to stick around. Like, I've mentioned health (both physical and mental) issues before, but I think I tend to understand just how bad it gets and how much of a toll it takes on me. I've made several 'silly'/reckless choices at least in part due to that, extreme as it may sound. It feels ridiculous, but when I first heard the news genuinely I wished I could have switched places with them. Selfish? Yes. Honest? Also yes. I often feel like that when I hear of things like this happening. Like, the world would be so much better if it hadn't happened to this person, but me instead -- but it stings so much more when you know how much they would have wanted to survive. *sigh* this might not even get posted, but I just wanted to get it out, in addition to thanking you.

submitted by Jaybells, Lost, somewhere
(February 5, 2024 - 8:44 pm)