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Actually Autistic Thread!!
Hello all! Welcome to the Actually Autistic chat thread. This is a place for everybody-Autistics (whether formally diagnosed, self diagnosed, or questioning) as well non autistics. You can use this to post that info dump that's been buzzing in your head, ask for advice about meltdowns, shutdowns, sensory issues, social problems, etc. as well as to make inquiries about Autism to build a better understanding. Even if you feel like you question seems dumb or weird, ask away! I will do my best to answer any inquiries posed in a timely manner.
And that's not all! You have permission to use this thread for whatever you please, as long as you are kind and respectful. :)
submitted by An Autistic
(April 19, 2023 - 7:56 am)
(April 19, 2023 - 7:56 am)
I'm not autistic, but I am neurodivergent for sure (not diagnosed though) and my parents think that I might be 2E (twice-exceptional), which means that I'm smart intellectually but am not that great with emotional and sensitivity. However, I did use to think that I might be autistic. Whatever the term is, I definitely know that I am neurodivergent. For example, the blender makes me go CRAZY-o. And so does the clanking of plates when my dad's making lunch. I'm homeschooled because my parents knew that public school would be too boring. I am starting to kind of get outside my shell; I have an online Algebra class; but I still am not that good social-emotionally. Here is a neurodivergence terms list:
Neurodiversity- the idea that all brains are different.
Neurodiverse-describes a community that has a variety of brain types.
Neurodivergence - Describes a type of brain type that is not what most brains, considered "normal" are (Normal brains are called neurotypical).
Neurodivergent - Describes a person who has a neurodivergence.
Autism (or ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder) - A type of neurodivergence that makes it harder for people with it to get around socially, and also have sensory issues and other symptoms, like "spacing out". Note that Autism is not a disorder. I think that the name Autism Spectrum Disorder is kinda lame, since it discourages people with autism.
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) - A type of neurodivergence that makes it harder for people with it to pay attention to one thing. once again this is NOT a disorder.
Dyslexia - A type of neurodivergence that makes it harder for people with it to read and process language
Dyscalculia - A type of neurodivergence that makes it harder for people with it to process mathematical subjects.
2E (twice-exceptional) - A type of neurodivergence that makes people with it really smart but also extremely sensetive emotionally. I wasn't officially diagnosed with this but my parents think I do have this neurodivergence.
Irlen Syndrome - I'm not exactly sure what this is, but it is something to do with processing visual information?
(April 19, 2023 - 5:45 pm)
(April 19, 2023 - 7:05 pm)
I feel you on the blender...terrible sound.
And, thank you for putting together this list!
Irlen Syndrome, expanded - this is a neurodivergence that effects how certain wavelengths of light are processed by the brain, often leading to light sensitivity (fluorescent lights are the most common stressor) and sometimes difficult making sense of visual information.
Synesthesia - a neurodivergence characterized by overlap in the senses. Example: Hearing color or seeing sound.
(April 19, 2023 - 8:33 pm)
Thanks for posting this list! I hope you don't mind if I expand on a few of these definitions.
Neurotypical -- describes a non-neurodivergent person. While neurotypical people are unique, varied and wonderful their brains are seen as fitting within the range of average.
Autism-- This is one of the most varied, complicated and diverse diagnoses out there- two people with autism can be as different from each other as they are to a non-autistic person; however like GLT said this diagnosis usually has to do with differences in sensory processing and social/emotional experiences, though symptoms are many and varied.
ADHD -- There used to be a diagnosis called ADD (standing for Attention Deficit Disorder, so ADHD without the H for Hyperactive) but as the world of mental health is always changing, people with such a condition now fall under the ADHD label. There are three subcategories of ADHD a person could be diagnosed with: Inattentive, Hyperactive and Combined. I encourage you to research further into this, but generally people with ADHD have deficiencies in executive function skills.
Twice Exceptional -- this phrase is used to describe a person who is identified as Gifted and also has one or more different conditions such as Autism or ADHD.
Self-Diagnosis-- this is when a person has done the research into a particular condition and are sure they have it, and thus diagnoses themself instead of a professional evaluating them. If you are certain you have this condition this is perfectly valid, however, it is important to really do your research. It is harmful to people who have a condition if you make an impulsive diagnosis, if you are not considering other factors that may result in the symptoms you are experiencing, or if you rely on generalized and often downright inaccurate information often found on social media. If you relate to a certain condition but are unsure if you have it it may be a good idea to seek a professional's opinion. For example, I am self-diagnosed with ADHD-- I've reviewed the facts and really see no possible way that I could not have this condition. However, I relate to a lot of autism symptoms but cannot really be sure if this is what I am experiencing especially because the symptoms have a lot of overlap with ADHD and Gifted. So, I'm looking into getting an eval. Also, a note on social media generalizations: most of the stuff you see online saying "stuff I didn't know was [condition] related" may be false.
(April 20, 2023 - 3:15 pm)
I don't mind at all that you expanded on those definitions! Thanks so much. By the way, where did you get the 2E definition? When I researched it, it said intellectually smart but not so much emotionally (to paraphrase it).
(April 20, 2023 - 7:17 pm)
My mother is a therapist and works a lot in the world of psychology, and I am 2E so she looks into that especially. Usually 2E people are intellectually smart but maybe not so much emotionally/socially, like you said.
(April 21, 2023 - 8:26 pm)
While I don't really think I'm neurodivergent, there have been a couple things lately that are making me think "hmm… What's up with that?" And those are:
- I seem to be more sensitive to loud noises. I've really only noticed this lately, but I don't really like loud noises and seem to have a low tolerance for them.
- There's been a couple of times where I've had what I refer to as "sensory overloads" but probably aren't actually called that, just because I don't know what else to call them. Basically, it's when a room is too loud or crowded or hot or something, and I just kinda freak out. Once I was practicing for the musical I was in, and we were going over a dance, and a few kids started arguing about many lines there were (two or three? And why does it matter??) in the dance. And they started yelling. Right next to me. And it was crowded. I asked one of them to stop but I guess he didn't hear me, and I just kinda started hyperventilating - I probably could've stopped it but I also might not have been able to? Idk, but that was a few weeks ago, almost a month by now, and it hasn't really happened since.
- I'm not good at checking my volume. Probably not related though
- I do constantly need to be moving, so I stim unless I'm already doing something else with my brain, like writing or singing - I can usually sit still then. Sometimes when I get really excited, I kinda just start shaking my fists up and down, like maracas
- I usually don't look at the person I'm talking to while I'm talking to them.
- … And when I was younger, a lot of adults were like "she has Autism" bc I guess I showed some of the symptoms younger kids tend to - not making eye contact, not really talking to other kids as much, that sort of thing.
So uh yeah if anyone has some idea of why this is, that'd be cool, but probably I'm just a little strange, not neurodivergent. My mom sees me every day and she works with kids who are neurodivergent as part of her job, and she doesn't think I am, so this post is probably pointless, sorry-
(April 19, 2023 - 7:19 pm)
Hello Periwinkle!
(April 19, 2023 - 9:17 pm)
First, hi Peri :) I related to everything you said to an extreme degree (except the last one) but I'm probably just a little ~strange~ and I've never been diagnosed with anything, so...
Second, @An Autistic, I'd love some advice on "sensory overloads" :) they happen fairly often (such as every. friday. assembly. ugh) but they're never really panic-attack level serious. I firmly maintain that deep breathing is a lie—it never seems to help. idk, any tips?
(April 20, 2023 - 11:29 am)
Yes...I totally agree with the whole sensory overload thing. Sometimes I have to put in earplugs but sometimes even NOISE-CANCELLING HEADPHONES don't work, especially with the clanking of plates, like at a restaurant.
(April 20, 2023 - 6:46 pm)
ikr, why do noise-cancelling headphones never cancel noise properly?? grrr :/
and Peri & anon, I relate to almost all of what you said above, you're not alone
yeah I get that "sensory overload" feeling a lot too (never been diagnosed with anything, tho)—mine are mostly triggered by crowded spaces or too much people-related stimulation, so they happen pretty often (also yes, assembly is awful too many people ack). and it's usually not possible to leave the room, or take a break, or put on/in headphones/earplugs. deep breathing—yuck :) some advice would be appreciated, if anyone has any~
Nox says {gnbbb}—a gnu who ate 'b's for breakfast? a bb gun? idk
(April 20, 2023 - 7:14 pm)
Yeah, noise cancelling devices definitely do help in some situations, but there are plenty where that simply isn't enough/the right kind of sensory... idk, deprivation? Deadening?
Like, I got some earplug-thingies the other day called Loops that are supposed to filter out obtruse noises and deaden the loud stuff by several decibals, but they aren't always quite the right thing (although they do usually aid me rather nicely, if not perfectly). I think they're also specifically designed to filter out more background sound too, so that the user can hear less spatially-distant things better (uh, there's gotta be a better way of wording that...). Basically, if someone's talking to you should be able to hear them pretty well, but not so much that random person 3 metres away (this helps with ADHD particularly in my case).
Anyway, I usually prefer to stim with music rather than deadening/sound-blocking because I can always "hear"/feel something and its distracting either way, so I'd rather just take control of what I am listening to.
[By the way, stimming ("to stim" comes from "to stimulate") is basically a(n often repetitve) behaviour that can calm down people (particularly those on the neurodivergent spectrum, but can be perfomed by anyone). It can be something inconspicous, like fiddling with clothing, hair, etc. to more distracting or potentially dangerous like striking oneself/banging into things, repeating a word or phrase over and over again, or rocking back and forth.]
(April 27, 2023 - 1:25 pm)
Yeah, I get you—I also usually use music instead of noise cancelling devices. It's easier to block out noise with, and it gives brain something to hold on to and follow in an attempt to calm down.
And yeah, I stim a lot...
(May 3, 2023 - 7:35 pm)
About deep breathing: My psychologist (yes I have a good one now) told me to do 10 reps breathing each day; what he doesn't know is that it gets TEDIOUS and BORING and it starts to NOT WORK; meditation never works because a few minutes afterward I get into some argument and POOF! It's all gone. And my mom tells me to do deep breathing whenever I am about to get super angry but what she doesn't seem to understand is that my feelings don't slowly dip down and oh I can just realize it and go back up, and instead my feelings just drop down in like half a second and i don't have time to control it. She DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL! What am I supposed to do? Here is a conversation, where M is my mom and A is me:
A: What you don't understand is that my feelings just drop down in half a second and it would take superhuman time management to do that with MY emotions.
M: Well, sure you can manage it [do it in half a second]
AAAAAH
(June 1, 2023 - 10:34 pm)
@anon, I'm happy I'm not the only one who does those things, you saying you related made me feel less alone so thank you <3
@An Autistic, that'd be great! So far, all I know is that it helps to have water and be able to get out of the room, but sometimes I can't get out of the room so I kind of need to be able to control it, and I'd love if you knew some books where I could read more about this!
(April 20, 2023 - 2:58 pm)