Arden

Today was...eventful. Shyla kept saying weird things to me like, ~How's Daaaaaawn?~ and ~Sorry, I'll give you guys privacy~ even when Dawn wasn't even there. It's hard to appreciate Shyla at that point. She might sometimes be nice, but usually, she's way too nosy. 

I mean, it's not like I don't think about Dawn all the time. But I really don't need Shyla nosing around in my business like that. Honestly. 

I took a walk today, and I found these gorgeous berries to make paint with. They were sort pinkish, with blue and purple too. And there was this old lady with a dog who almost died. She seemed like maybe she was half-blind, and literally walked into the busy street, paying no heed to the cars. Some Tesla missed her by an inch. I don't know why I'm writing about this. I think I have ADHD. My mind wanders pretty quickly. Which usually makes most people think I'm ignoring them. And then they don't talk to me. Which is why I'm so lonely. 

~Shyla~

~Hello. I'm not sure Arden knows these diary entries are being posted on the CB. I doubt they would've said any of that if they knew. Hehe. Well, onto my day! I thought it went splendidly. I had the best lunch. Ramen with mushrooms and tofu and peanuts and egg and sesame seeds. So good.~

~Amarillis adopted a new AE. Cyrus Moore. We met him today. He's nice. But I don't think he likes me very much--he's kind of shy. Maybe that's why. Everyone eventually warms up to me. Usually. Sometimes. Anyway, he just sort of talked to Arden and moved all his stuff in. Then he got on a call with someone.~

~Anyway, other than ramen and Cyrus, I also watched some random tv. Mostly just weird cooking shows I like to mock and the Simpsons. I know, I know. But it's literally so funny!!! Don't judge.~

^Hi, I'm Cyrus, I'm new here. I use he/him pronouns, and I'm fine being shipped, just with girls. Yeah, um. Not much to say. I just moved in today and stuff.^ 

*Quinn*

*One of the rules I've always had in my life is: never let your insecurities show. Ever. Even - or perhaps especially - to the people you love and trust.*

*So I just hide everything. It's not a big deal. Really. But today that all came crashing down.*

*I was blasting music (and okay, yes, crying to it). It was just… The song was Are You Satisfied? (Marina and the Diamonds) and I just relate to it a lot, and I started crying. But it really wasn't a big deal!! I was fine!! Really!!! Until Callum came in…*

*He probably did knock, but I didn't hear him over the music. He looked really surprised when he saw me - UGH!! This is why! This is why I never - Why I can't -*

*This is why nobody can know.*

*So… I may have… Yelled at him. And I feel really bad about it, but I just… I needed him to get out. I don't want people to see me like that. Ever.*

*Ever! Imagine if Ever saw me like that!! Well, now I know it could be worse… At least Ever will never know I'm weak. Still, one of my best friends does now. Ugh… I don't think I'll ever leave my room again…* 

~Mirage~
~It rained all day today, which I had mixed feelings about. I love the rain, especially the smell of petrichor it creates. I had a lot of time to sketch, and I even did a watercolor painting of Koi (which made her feel very honored, I think, although she didn't show it). I also got more time to practice piano and catch up on some studying.~
~On the other hand, though, the rain meant Fir and Barnacle were stuck inside too. They dug out a wiffle ball and bat from the closet and insisted on playing in the living room. Pangolin's making them pay for the lamp they broke, and she also lectured them for dragging 'poor, sweet, innocent' Knight into it, but I think we all know the CAPTCHA joined on her own terms. Koi, Virid, I managed to avoid the whole incident by taking refuge in my room.~

Tempest always did like writing poems

~

#I never thought I'd feel this way

About anyone, really

But I still think about you every day

And every night I think

"Wow,

She's really mine,"

It feels unreal

Because I'm just me,

Clumsy and chaotic,

A troublemaker who can't control his emotions,

And you're you:

Beautiful and kind,

Someone I'd love to spend every minute with

Maybe I want to see you again,

All alone in those woods,

And we could talk for hours,

Because right now

I'd love to splash in the lake again,

I'd love to hear you talk,

And I'd love to tell you everything

Everything I feel

But that's hard to say

So I guess it's just a poem that no one will ever see#

:Ellerie:

:It's stormy.:

:I don't know why I went outside during the beginning of the storm earlier. But I did.:

:Maybe it was freeing, the wind blasting through my hair as rain pounded my skin, soaking through my summer clothes that I shouldn't have been wearing. Maybe it was the fact I was outside, the fresh air riddled with spikes of cold piercing my lungs. Maybe I was scared and running towards danger is easier than running away from it. Or maybe I just wanted to.:

:When I got to my little campfire area in the woods, the one with the log for sitting and wood for burning in a small clearing around bushy trees, I laid down. I let the rain hit my face, wincing at first with how hard it was, but I went numb from the cold after a while. Thunder crashed in the distance and lightning not so far, but I didn't run. I let my hair out.:

:Somehow I was the eye of the hurricane. I was calm. I could see fire, but I couldn't care less.:

:That's what happens when you have to be brave:

:He's scared of storms, but it's his name. I want to help. Comfort them.:

:It's still raining. I don't know how long I was out there, and I don't know what I was doing or thinking. I only know that I liked it. I think I liked the danger... that must've been it. But I didn't like it. It hurt, I was cold and miserable.:

:Why do things always have to be so uncertain?:  

Hey, I realized Aster and Lore never got to go on a date!  If you're still interested, maybe they could go to an arcade or concert?

Rai - Audio Diary

No one knows how lonely I am.

No one knows how afraid I am to grow up.

No one knows what terrors I face at night.

And I can't change that,

Nor can I fight it. 

I'm alone, in my little world. Alone. Lonely.

Scared. *laughs*

It's ironic, really, how my personality and visage is so bubbly and happy.

But on the inside? It's so, so different.

The outside, too. Outside of my little bubble, my perfect world with the AEs. It's hard. I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have are unfriendly.

They make fun of my hair and face. The way I speak. The way I dress.

Everything about me seems like a failure, to me and them.

It's hard being alone. 

~~~

Rai needs new friends. Anyone available to meet with him? He's lonely and doesn't have friends outside of my AEs. 

Ack sorry I forgot to post this yesterday! Here it is! :D

~~~

Friendo:

Barnacle answers that he does basketball, football, baseball, soccer, gymnastics, and snowboarding. I grin. I've never met anybody who does as many sports as I do. Then he asks what sports and hobbies I do. This makes me even happier. I love to talk about sports.

"I do fencing, rock climbing, parkour, freestyle snowboarding, and hockey competitively, but I'll play just about anything if there's a pickup game I can join. I guess we don't do many of the same sports... but we both do snowboarding! And parkour and gymnastics are kinda similar. As for hobbies, I do ceramics and woodcarving." I pause for a sec, and there's an awkward silence. "What about you? Do you have any hobbies?"

Ugh, I feel so awkward. Barnacle seems so composed, he's practically glowing. In comparison I feel about as graceful as Junie, who is currently trying to sniff Root's butt while walking and she's tripping over her own paws and generally making a fool of her little doggy self. Juniper is lucky. She doesn't have to care about looking good, cause whatever she does, it's adorably cute. I don't have doggy cuteness on my side, so I'm pretty sure I just look like a wreck. I sigh inwardly and pull Junie away from Root's butt before he gets fed up with her and nips her.