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Random Thoughts/Things?
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Random Thoughts/Things?
Random Thoughts/Things?
I wasn’t really sure what to call this thread, but I’ve had this idea floating around in my head for awhile now. Basically, anyone can post anything here. Any random thought you have, any random thing that happens to you, any random question that pops into your mind. Have fun, and don’t be afraid to be random.
submitted by Leeli
(January 11, 2019 - 8:20 am)
(January 11, 2019 - 8:20 am)
with this reply it will finally, after exactly a year, have garnered ten replies.
never say never :)
(December 25, 2023 - 9:58 pm)
aaaaand I caught a cold right before Christmas. :/
(December 22, 2022 - 8:58 am)
I have this weird lump thingy on my neck.... hope it's not a goiter, that'd be awful...
And I hope it's NOT another infected lymph node. Trust me, those are NOT fun.
I wonder if I can try to build a mini castle in Minecraft without using a guide....???
Nah.
(December 22, 2022 - 1:13 pm)
Oh my gosh hiiiii! (You probably don't know me but) I haven't seen you around much! I really hope your neck feels better. Just wanted to say hello. And now goodbye. [Insert eloquent comment ending.]
(December 22, 2022 - 3:46 pm)
So, I just finished reading Frankenstein, and I knew about the poetic monologues and gothic horror and tragic ending, but was anyone going to tell me about the copious amounts of homoerotic subtext? Like when Robert Walton calls Victor Frankenstein "attractive" or "divine" or "noble and godlike" or says Victor has a voice "whose varied intonations are soul-subduing music." Or the fact that Victor and Henry Clerval literally only address each other with "dear" or "my dear", or that one time Henry told Victor (and this is a direct quote) "hasten [...] to return, that I may again feel myself somewhat at home, which I cannot do in your absence" or the parallels to Romeo & Juliet Mary Shelley wrote into Henry's death/funeral scenes. Was anyone going to tell me about that?
(December 22, 2022 - 2:55 pm)
Ha. Nope, that was a surprise for you~
(December 23, 2022 - 2:03 pm)
ok so i know this has been talked about before but.. i've been a long time cber and usually i get compliments on the compliment threads but this december one i haven't.. it just makes me feel lik all the newer cher's are getting more and more popular and me, an older cber are getting forgotten.
That is the danger of compliment threads, that someone will be forgotten and fell left out. Have you complimented others? Maybe that will remind them about you.
Admin
(December 22, 2022 - 7:12 pm)
I'm not even gonna go anon with this one when I say yep, me too. I did get one compliment, so I can't complain, I guess, but there have been multiple times when I complimented and just... Nobody seemed to notice? Compliment threads, regardless of if I have or have not on them, always feel like they're leaving me out. I've been on here for almost two years. I do my best to give what I can to this place. In return, I get to be here, surrounded by people who get me. But yeah. I gotta say it kinda hurts when I realize that no matter what I do, there's always going to be people who never even noticed.
(December 23, 2022 - 6:54 am)
Hey Peri! I was planning on making a monthly compliment thread every month, and seeing your idea, do you wanna combine our ideas a bit?
I agree that making Compliment Threads is always a tricky thing, and will leave some people feeling unhappy for lack of being mentioned, but we are trying to improve that. I thought by making it a challenge where you get more points for mentioning CBers that hadn't been mentioned before, in addition to mentioning the CBer(s) who posted before you, I could incentivize and encourage more people to be complimented, especially those who had already something nice in there.
Anyway, I totally understand where you two are coming from (even if I personally respond differently if I haven't been complimented) and would really like to work together with everyone to get to a better place.
Perhaps combining the Challenge Thread, along with the idea of a comment for a compliment might be an interesting idea? I'm not sure if it will work perfectly, but we can try that out if you're willing? Like everyone who posts will get a compliment from the creators (who can't collect points), and then the challenge can go alongside that, which will mean that each person can get more compliments by more people.
This might just be a mess I should've kept myself out of, but it really might work if we're willing to make it work. What do you people think?
(December 23, 2022 - 2:36 pm)
You could give it a try, but I would imagine some people would still end up with more compliments than others, which would also hurt people's feelings, which is why I'd originally limited it to the creator - one compliment per person, as meaningful as possible - more about quality than quantity, which is how I generally feel compliments should be.
(December 23, 2022 - 3:31 pm)
Right.
Ok, so I'm not trying to pick a fight, promise, but the way I see it is that there's not a problem when different people get different amount of compliments. That is simply the way of the world; things aren't perfectly 'fair' all the time. If you're active, especially on the thread, people will see you participating and be able to compliment you. The only time I think the situation is unacceptable is when people ignore others on the thread, and leave them with no compliments at all. That's plain rude. However, if you posted and got only a few/shallow compliment(s), which hurts your feeling, simply post more entries of thoughtful content and you will inevitably get more in return. I agree that more thought-out compliments are more preferred, and actively encourage that as well, of course. I think that the best way to get these to set an example with your own compliments and let that do the talking.
To be clear, I hold no ill will towards either of you, or anyone who thinks like you. I'm not angry, or even frustrated, I just want to kind of let y'all into my thought process for a bit. If you want to form somewhat communist compliment thread, and think that it'll work best -- go ahead. Who am I to stop you? I simply believe that giving everyone an equal chance to give their own compliments and experiences of those they interact with and admire is better than one/a few centralised controller(s) doling out what they think. That's one of the things I love about the CB the most: the relatively free discourse and discussions that can happen, and I think it's kind of a pity to see that being stripped away.
(December 23, 2022 - 8:31 pm)
Just to add to what Jay said (perhaps you already said this, or perhaps you didn't; I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but I agree with what you said), my personal view on the subject of compliments is that they are gifts. (At least I assume) you wouldn't go around asking strangers--or even friends and acquaintances--for compliments, much like you wouldn't outright ask someone for a gift. They are given in admiration, gratitude, or simple kindness by the giver of their own free will, whether to a friend or a stranger. Imagine, then, if someone were to ask you for a compliment: you may oblige; it may even be incredibly genuine; however, I would argue that it simply isn't the same. Asking for a compliment makes it more of a favor than a gift.
The main issue, of course, is that some people are given more compliments than others, and some don't receive any at all. It is no question that this inevitably hurts some people's feelings, but is it really wrong? Inevitably, some people stick out more; some people post more frequently than others; some people are probably liked more than others. Inevitably some people fade to the background or are unseen by the majority. I think a lot of it is just how our brains work and how we connect, completely exclusive of the actual individual. Also, especially in terms of this particular website, we have extremely limited media with which to demonstrate individuality. There are no profile pictures, no social links, no voices, no nada other than our words, our names, and our artwork (hence why impersonation can be a thing). As such, our relationships and perceptions of each other are also extremely limited; you can only go so far with a compliment to someone you've only met here. I don't think it's anyone's fault that some fall under the radar, and I don't think it's anyone's bound responsibility to know each and every CBer here--far from it. It is simply a fact of life and a product of our limitations as humans and as users that some people will be complimented more than others. And I would say that's okay.
Bottom line is this: Compliments are gifts. You don't need to ask for them, you don't need to earn them. They are given to you freely and they are nice to receive, but they are not an absolute indicator of your worth, someone else's thoughts about you, or the impact you will have, whether or not you receive them or in what quantity. I think it's absolutely a great thing to go out of your way to compliment those who normally receive fewer compliments, and that is wonderful if you do! I also think it's absolutely great and okay just to compliment those whom you know and appreciate, whom you may compliment in the most genuine way. What I think is less effective is forcing people to or shaming people for not complimenting other people. I think everyone absolutely deserves to be complimented, but no one in any way is owed a compliment. The key is in encouraging people to compliment others, and in that the compliment threads seem to excel.
I am not here to diminish anyone's feeling left out because of compliment threads because I know exactly how it feels; I have been in that boat for much of my CB career. I also don't think it's anyone's fault or anyone's responsibility to change. If you would like to be more likely to receive a compliment I would say definitely be active on the thread and compliment those you admire. I just don't think kindness should be obligatory or conditional, but I guess that's just me. I apologize if any of this has sounded harsh in any way, as I certainly have not meant it to.
(My most sincere apologies to admins and readers alike that this became so long! I wish you all a very merry Christmas/happy holidays <3)
~ Jwyn
(December 25, 2022 - 12:27 am)
(December 26, 2022 - 1:57 pm)
Peri,
Thank you for responding! I'm glad that my words were understandable and provoked your own thinking. As for "generally smarter", whether or not that is true I believe intelligence takes many forms. I do not--and I certainly hope you don't--dismiss your own "smartness". You are incredibly thoughtful and intuitive. I think it takes much more of another intelligence to understand and appreciate the thoughts and beliefs of others, even when they may not wholly align with your own. I really admire that quality in you, and I hope you recognize it too!
Also, I think it is awesome that you have such a talent and passion for complimenting people specifically and genuinely! To be clear, I think compliments can be meaningful and worthwhile even if they aren't very deep. Like, if you told a stranger on the street that you like their nose, it might make their whole day (who nose?). And if it is your personal conviction to compliment as many people as possible, I think that is great as well, just (as you mentioned) as long as it doesn't make it a chore.
Finally, while there are flaws to every system, I thought Jaybells' thread had a great way to incentivize complimenting new people without making it mandatory, and my intent was never to criticize that. Your system also works in the way it's intended, the downsides considered as you mentioned. <[another thing about that is that while you may feel compelled to compliment people, it is not your responsibility to compliment everyone, especially so far that it causes you stress. We know you care and we appreciate you!]> No system is perfect, but I think the goal to facilitate encouragement is achieved most of the time.
I'm so grateful we could have this conversation and can have conversations like these! Thank you, Peri! I am in always in awe of your kindness! <3
(December 27, 2022 - 2:12 pm)
Thanks, Jwyn! I'm happy we could have this conversation too <3
(December 30, 2022 - 5:54 pm)