I don't know what to say!

On Wednesday I cried at school and no one noticed

But maybe that's because it's allergy season

I, too, want to cry

and then people will hug me

and say it will be okay

but instead I sit there with worries inside my head

and no one notices enough to try and distract me

when I don't talk our lunch table is quiet

no model of good feelings to lift me out of anxiety

But I'm pretty sure it's just the thing about growing up

because when I reach out for a hug my friends respond

after art class I can talk again

we all confess to each other how messed-up we feel

(not in the scary, depression, anxiety way)

(just in the normal 'we have so much work'

'i'm so tired' 

'i haven't been myself')

Then we go out for popsicles

we sing Helpless from Hamilton

(two of us

the other two say, 

'what was that about')

we do our work

it's all okay

we're growing up

`````````````````````

I'm sorrry because this was supposed to help you but it ended up being therapeutic for me. Maybe talk to your parents? I don't know how your parents are but I tell mine a ton of stuff and they've been really nice. Also I talked to a therapist and that was really nice. There's nothing wrong with you. I know you feel like you're the dirty, bad one for caring what other people think but unless we're just two random weird anomalies, I'm pretty sure almost every kid feels like that You are wonderful, safe, and valid. 

Unsovleablez says gkid. He agrees!

I know who you are, but I won't tell. :)

Nobody pays attention to me.

When I'm with my friends, it takes them 5 minutes to notice me at all.

I guess I'm trying to tell you that you're not alone. We on the CB will be here for you, no matter what. We care. :P 

It's terrible feeling like that. I'm not very confident either. To tell the truth, I haven't been able to cope with my issues in ways that don't make me look sane.

If it makes you feel better, I'll confess this right here. I'm afraid that I'll be an outcast someday, and that I'll become the weird old man next door.

I'm not sure how helpful this advice is, since it comes from a person like me, but maybe take a break from everything.

If that helps, I'm glad. I know how that feels. 

I'm listening

I'm here

I want to help

I try to notice when someone cries 

I think I do a pretty good job of comforting them

But then they tell me that I was the only one who did

And it makes me feel bad

That people are all so wrapped up in their problems

So selfish,

That they are blinded to others'

I think we are all a little blinded to our sameness

Myself included

We feel so alone, so raw, so isolated that

It surprises us when someone else reaches out

Because when we lift our eyes and look around

We are all the same

All in the same boat, on the same stormy sea

But we can't see over the masts and sails and rope and junk and clouds and appearances

And we grow farther and farther apart

Sometimes a piece of our boat cracks off, carrying

Someone

Off without our noticing

But maybe we should cry out,

Like some of us are trying to do

We should scream until we are heard

Or maybe we should reach out

And hold each other tightly

And let our tears fall onto their shoulders

Because even if we are blind,

We can still hear and feel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I feel like I'm in the same boat as Applejaguar. That was supposed to make you feel better, but also ended up being thereputic. But seriously, talking is the right way to go. Because you're right. If you listen to those voices, you will implode. But if you tell someone, it lifts the burden. I know because I feel the same way, and I know a lot of my friends do. I'm not saying just go blurt it out to every random person on the street, but find someone you trust and tell them.

And if you are on the receiving end of that trust, listen. Don't reject someone who's pouring their heart out to you. Prove yourself worthy of that trust. 

This is a beautiful poem. I know exactly how you feel, and if you just reach out to someone, they'll be there for you. Tell someone, anyone, how you feel. Like you did with us. We're all here for you, and we love you! Good luck.

You are not alone

I want to help you

and I don't know how

but know that we walk the same

twisted

path through the same

twisted

forest

and it's lies

all lies

and as the path winds deeper

it becomes harder to see the sun

through the thicket of lies

it becomes harder to see each other

and we think we're lost

we think we're alone

in that twisted wood

but there are so many others around us

and they're swimming in the same thoughts 

they're lost

too

you're not alone

•

As with Applejaguar and Shy Peacock, this was meant to help you, and I hope it did, but it also turned out to be a vent for me. Just know that you're not the only one who feels this way, even though it may seem like it at times. We all struggle with these same things, these same voices. But it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's a perfectly normal thing that most people deal with. It's rough. It's also just part of being human. Don't give up. <3

That was beautiful. Beautiful like the slow roll into a tragic ending. Beautiful like a lost bird in the coming snow. Beautiful like old hurts, purpling bruises and fresh scars.

I can't say I'm there with you. I'm not sure I ever was. But I'm sorry you've found yourself in the cursed dome of invisibility, the one that whispers you're still exposed and to stay inside it, safe from their sticks and stones. I'm sorry you're stuck in the shadows, holding up a weight that's supposed to be your mark of success. I'm glad you told us. I'm not there with you. But can I be there for you? I would always love to hear whatever you want to say.

May I also point you to the webcomic Daughter of the Lilies? I think you might find something in it, at least enough to be worth the time it takes to read it. Quick heads-up for monster slaying, incredible artwork (including of the monsters), and somewhat background presence of LGBTQ+.

"What can have a beginning can have an end."

This too shall pass. It wasn't always like this, so eventually it will be fine again. Eventually things will get better.

When you feel embarrassed or judged, flip the scenario. Think, If I saw someone else saying what I just said, what would I think about them?

Usually nothing bad.

If someone is mean to you, then their opinion of you is likely somewhat skewed by anger; and they don't have a good opinion of most people.

Strength doesn't lie in numbers

Strength doesn't lie in wealth

Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumber;

When you wake up, wake up!

I have confidence that spring will come again... 

Also, I hope your eye gets better! 

*hugs*

I'm sorry I can't do any more for you... But I'm here if you need me.

<3