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A letter to
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
A letter to
A letter to a friend.
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I'm technically not on here anymore, but I wrote this to get my emotions/thoughts out and for some reason decided to put it here. I hope this could possibly encourage anyone who has similar thoughts to talk truthfully to their friends about this. ok, here we go. (disclaimer: you are not in any way obligated to read this. I just needed to write this down for myself.) Also, please don't true to figure out who I am. I prefer for that to be unknown. Thank you. Apologies for the length of this.
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Hello, best friend. So, I have something to say. It might take a while, but please, hear me out. I have anxiety and am an extreme introvert. So with that, here ya go.
I'm clingy. I almost always want to be talking to you, whether over the phone, texting, or in person. I need to know you're there.
I'm not honest. When you ask if I'm ok, my immediate respond is "Yes." I inwardly want you to care enough to make sure. I care more about your problems than my own, and don't want to be a burden.
I need space at times. Constant interaction is emotionally and physically exhausting to me. I usually will not tell you when I need space, not wanting to hurt your feelings.
I will push you away many times. I'm so scared of being rejected that I will leave before I can get hurt. I desperately want you to pull me back and reassure me.
I don't trust people. My trust has been shattered so many times that I've given up trying, but i'm trying for you. For much of the same reason, I'm scared of being vulnerable. I don't trust people to not take advantage of my weaknesses.
I hate changes and surprises. I need stability and security in my life, and those really throw me off.
I constantly need affirmation. Whenever I get a compliment, I immediately think that person is lying.
I don't like crowds or most social gatherings in general. Too many variables to deal with.
I'm terrified of hurting you. I often push my own needs to care for others', to the point that it's damaging to myself.
Physical contact can be either good or bad. Asking before initiating anything is grounding and calming.
I overthink everything. (hence this note.) This is why i apologize a lot. Too much.
I'm constantly tired/fatigued.
Talking is hard. I get pushed aside so much that I silence myself before someone else can. When that happens, don't push me to talk. Just let me know that your there.
I'm hard to be friends with; I know that full well. But I'm trying. So please, hang in there with me. You are the best friend I could ask for, and I hope I can pay back even at least a fraction of what you've done for me.
Thanks. <3 -Ror
submitted by complexity.
(April 17, 2018 - 11:01 pm)
(April 17, 2018 - 11:01 pm)
Really? Really? Please don't bottom threads that aren't yours, especially an important one like this.
(April 18, 2018 - 5:04 pm)
(April 18, 2018 - 7:40 pm)
I feel exactly the same way with my friend, added that she seems like she's ignoring me at times, and I feel like she'll be hurt if I tell her how I feel. I feel I'm too dependent upon her, and I need to make more friends, but sometimes good friends are few and far between.
As for advice, I don't know if I have any, but I just wanted to let you know I relate immensely.
(April 19, 2018 - 5:05 pm)
I am sorry that you find yourself in a similar situation, for I get how hard that is.
I recently told my best friend, the one mentioned in the letter, about mostly everything, and he's been really trying to support me. So, all I can say is that I encourage you to be honest with your friend in a loving way. If she does truly care about you, she will try to help, or at least try to understand.
Yes, good friends can be truly hard to find. Also, if you feel that you are being too dependent on her, possibly try to take some time for yourself and do a bit of soul searching. Just if you do, explain to your friend why you are being a bit distant, so she doesn't feel like you're ditching her.
Anyway, apologies for the long reply. I will pray for you, and I hope things get better.
(April 19, 2018 - 10:55 pm)
That's sad and sweet, and honest, isn't it? I think you would tell the truth. I don't have a lot of friends... I think. When can you count someone as a friend? And how much does that mean you can tell them, ask of them? When do you keep dreams as promises?
(April 23, 2018 - 3:53 pm)
In my opinion, I believe that you are friends with someone when you and they enjoy each other's company for more than just the company.
However, I think that most friends are not qualified as close friends. From my experience, I've just gone along with my heart with what I asked of them or told them. Most of the time, I was happy that I did.
I apologize; I'm not that great at answering questions/giving advice or anything, but I do understand how you feel.
Also, sorry for such a late reply.
(April 26, 2018 - 6:26 pm)
Don't worry about it; that was really helpful, although it was probably rude of me to ask in the first place. And heaven knows I've given later replies. Thank you.
(April 26, 2018 - 8:01 pm)
Well, I am glad you found my ramblings helpful .
No, no, no! It wasn't rude at all! That's mastly why I created this thread; to get people to ask the hard questions, whether to themselves or the people around them.
(April 27, 2018 - 8:46 am)
Oh, that's a relief. Again, thank you.
(April 27, 2018 - 11:24 am)
Of course :)
Thank you for reading my mess of a letter as well.
(April 27, 2018 - 11:10 pm)
You're welcome!
(April 30, 2018 - 7:43 am)
Oh dear. reading back over this, I am noticing the many grammar and spelling errors. Apologies for that. (especially for the incorrect 'your' instead of 'you're' that in usually very careful about.)
(April 27, 2018 - 8:49 am)