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Dear ______.
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Dear ______.
Dear ______.
i'm sorry for
falling in Love
with You.
Since the beginning of last year,
i have had the biggest
Crush
On You.
i tried to hide it,
to stop it
to push it away.
But nothing worked.
It just got Stronger.
Every time i would talk to You
a rush of Adrenaline would
pulse through me.
i was always careful of
my actions,
Scared I would do
something
Wrong.
And You might
Reject me.
Anytime WE had a good conversation,
i was always
Elated.
But if i couldn't work up the Courage
to speak to You,
i would feel
like
a Failure.
And after a full year,
it's still here.
i wish i could
get rid of it.
Not because of anything
You did,
but,
because
i feel like You could be a
real Friend.
not a Crush.
i wish i could Laugh
with You
Normally.
i wish i could Joke
with You
Casually.
i wish i could not Take It Personally
when You
don't talk to me.
i've never told You
in fear of being
Rejected.
Ignored.
Disliked.
i have always had Hope
WE could be real Friends
again.
Because WE have had spurts
of real
Genuine
Friendship.
I have enjoyed those little
Spurts.
And i think
You have too.
Then,
something Happens and
WE are Strangers
once again.
my Anxiety controlling me,
i become Scared
and Desperate
for You to come
Back.
i would Grasp for Your
Attention.
I became an
Attention Hog.
I would send
Notes,
Sappy Cards.
Wear my hair The Way You Liked It that one day,
Do Rash stupid things
Just for Your
Attention.
Then the Guilt would seep in.
Guilt of trying to make You
Like me.
make You
Love me.
make You
be my Friend.
but that Guilt would soon
fly away
if It worked.
And WE were Friends
again.
But if It Failed
the Guilt stayed.
the Embarrassment came.
i wondered why i wasn't
Normal.
Why i couldn't even talk
to You.
Why i had this stupid
Crush
in the first place.
i wished it would leave.
But it only got
Stronger.
So
i'm sorry.
Sorry for acting
Weird.
Sorry for grasping for Your
Attention.
Sorry for falling in
Love
with You.
Because it has stopped me
from becoming
100% Myself
And
100%
Your Friend.
~~~~~
So. . . this is a poem I wrote today. Mayyybe based on a true story; you'll never know. There is more behind it, but i don't really want to say anymore.
Thank you for reading! As always, questions, comments, concerns, and critiques are welcomed!
~butterfly❤❤
submitted by ~butterfly~, age ❤, ❤
(December 19, 2017 - 4:57 pm)
(December 19, 2017 - 4:57 pm)
Oh, Butterfly, I'm sorry for what you're going through. This poem hits close to home, especially... well, basically the whole thing. :) This is a wonderful piece. I hope everything turns out okay for you, and I'm sending you a big hug through the screen <3
I'm going to try to offer a bit of advice, since I've been in literally the exact same situation (well, maybe not exactly, depending the gender of _______,) where I was trying to supress a crush on a friend. First of all, have an outlet, a person who you can trust to keep everything you need to talk about a secret- I made the mistake of not telling my crush to anybody for two years in the hopes that it would go away, which didn't work and just drove me crazy. Maybe you should talk to ______ about it (haha, I say this and yet I know anxiety makes it nearly impossible) In my situation, the person I had a crush on told our other friend he liked me, and then that friend (with his permission) told me that he had a crush on me, so maybe ask another friend to say something if it's possible, Once again, I'm sending you a virtual hug <3 If there's anything I can do to help, I'd be happy to :)
(December 19, 2017 - 10:53 pm)
*hugs back* Thank you for writing this Bluebird, that definitely lifted my spirits. As for the advice, that might work, except for the small problem of the gender. . . . this whole thing would be easier if she was a guy. (And before anyone asks, I'm not even sure of what I define myself as in the first place.) Im scared of telling anyone else, scared that they would reject me too. But I will definitely consider telling someone: my best friend might understand. I have already told part of it to my sister, but she doesn't really get it. I vent to her sometimes, and she either gives semi-helpful advice, or say that I'm overreacting. But I'm not, I'm just trying to describe my feelings, which is hard because sometimes I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. . . .
But thank you very much! It's nice to know there is someone out there who understands. ❤
(December 20, 2017 - 11:35 am)
Awesome poem, and you're awesome too, Butterfly.
(December 20, 2017 - 10:39 pm)