*Runs up and tackle hugs you and gives you chocolate* I know you've probably heard the Disney message of "be yourself," so I'm not going to give that. Instead, I'll tell you that our perceptions of ourselves aren't always right. "Pretty" is a general term. We like to look at different things, just like we like to eat different things, read different things, and do different things. "Being pretty" can mean anything from a superstar model to a sweet and true smile that lights up your face. Honestly? I prefer the second.

I know impressions are "everything." I spend a long time in front of the mirror in the mornings. Sometimes, I make my family late. So no, you aren't being vain, showing care about your appearance isn't vanity; it's just showing respect for yourself and to others.

But if you think you aren't "pretty," if you think you haven't met that standard you've set for yourself, then you may be struggling with your confidence. A smile goes a long way. It can make your whole self light up. Your personality? It just shines right through! That's who people want to befriend. It doesn't matter what you look like.

Also, remember how I said that our perceptions of ourselves aren't always right? Well, it's true. We can be hardest on ourselves. Multiple times when I'm working on the farm on days when I have been absolutely dismayed about my appearance, people have walked up to me just to say I'm so pretty. They don't mean that my hair is just right (it's always frizzy when I've been outside for a while). They don't mean that my skin is flawless...because my skin? *cough, splutter* okay, let's just say that it occasionally resembles dragon scales. I'm pretty sure they are talking about my confidence, and that's much more of a compliment anyway. 

And this boy that you like? I'm sure he's pretty cool, but if for some reason he doesn't like you the way you are, then he isn't worth it, because there is someone out there who does like you just the way you are. The truly beautiful way you are. Don't worry, the right person will come along eventually, you have plenty of time. 

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I don't think you sound vain. I think you sound like you care about your appearence and not looking sloppy. That's fine, caring about your appearence isn't a bad thing, it means you like setting a good first impression of yourself for other people.

We can be much harder on ourselves about the way we look then we are on other people. Sort of like how if you have a tiny pimple on your forehead you automaticly think it looks huge, but if your best frind has a pimple the same size on their forehead you don't even notice it.

I'm sure you've heard this many times before and it doesen't really mean much at the moment, but true beauty comes from within. It doesn't matter what you look like as much as it matters what you act like.

Also some people just don't look too good in photos, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't look good in real life. Photos can distort the way people look, the angle a photo was taken from can make someone look fat even though they're not, or short when they are actuallly tall, or the lighting can make their hair look dull, or another thing like that.

This boy you like will hopefully like you for who you are, and if he doesn't then he's probably not someone worth knowing.

And remember, a smile does somthing even better than making you look pretty, it makes you look happy. <3

I think everybody goes through insecurites like this. I for one can relate to everything you wrote- liking how I look/thinking I'm pretty, then spiraling into a lot of self-doubt and then repeating it like a cycle... but here are some important things to remember- 1. People don't notice as much about you as you may think and 2. Everyone looks prettier when they smile. Seriously! 

Another thing I do to battle these self-doubts is to do something about it. I get what you mean about appearance meaning a lot to you- no matter how much people say to love/accept yourself the way you are, it can sometimes seem impossible to do that, at least for me. If I'm feeling insecure about acne or something, I'll wear makeup. If I feel insecure about my body, I'll start working out. I by no means am saying learning self-love is bad/encouraging you to do things you don't want to do. No one needs to wear makeup or anything like that. And honestly, being attractive may seem like it's everything now (I know) but in the end the best people will stick around you because they like you. Hopefully things will look up soon :)

Its OK. Really, I don't think your vain but even if you were that's alright because lots of people are too vain to admit it. About the boy you like, if he can't appreciate you for what you look like, he's not worth it. People aren't always about how they look. I don't know your CB name, but I can assure you that you are awesome no matter what you look like. Yeah, I know, that's bad advice. ;)

Some Person,

I am vain too. Just wanted you to know.

Sensefully yours,

Watchgirl  

Thank you so much, everyone. I feel much better now. I think what I needed was a boost of self-confidence, and that's what you gave me. Thank you.