Please help.

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Please help.

Please help.

One of my closest friends (female) just told me that she is LGB-whatever. And I'm Christian. When she told me, I did my best to act like everything was okay.  But it's not. Please help me. She is a really sweet girl, and it would absolutely break her heart if she knew what I think about this. She has been my friend forever, and I don't want it to end this way.

Please, please help me. 

Your friend is the same person she has been in the past. She values your friendship, and you indicate that your friendship means a lot to you, too. You can still be friends and enjoy each other's company as you have for so many years. If you're still concerned, try to find someone to talk to about your feelings.

Admin

submitted by friend advice needed, age anonymous, nowhere
(October 12, 2017 - 6:58 pm)

Here’s what I believe:

I too am a Christian, and personally do not support LGBTQ+. However, some people that I know are gay and lesbian. But that doesn’t mean I hate them. In fact, I believe Jesus loves everyone so much equally, and because we are called to live like Him, I love everyone too, regardless of their sexuality. Besides, although I may not agree with them, I think they are good people, and it doesn’t make me love them any less. 

submitted by Doctor Who?, age The 13th , The Blue Giraffe
(October 12, 2017 - 9:51 pm)
submitted by Top!
(October 12, 2017 - 9:52 pm)

Who your friend likes does not change a thing about who she is. She is still your wonderful, sweet friend no matter what. Your friendship wasn't built on what type of person either of you are attracted to. It was built on shared interests and laughter, on inside jokes and crazy conversations, on love and on trust. You are friends because you enjoy each other's company. Try to focus on all the things about your friend that you love, all the things you share. She is still your friend and you love her. She clearly trusts you a lot, so do your best to be supportive. You may not understand why she loves who she loves, but that doesn't make it necessarily wrong. Let her know that you will still be her friend, no matter who she gets a crush on.

submitted by Cockleburr
(October 12, 2017 - 9:57 pm)

Remember that your friend hasn't changed, she is still the same sweet person. Besides, this one quality doesn't define her. If you think that she is a really sweet person, I don't think that you need to stop being friends because you disagree on something. You can have your beliefs and she can have hers, you don't need to agree to be friends. At my own lunchtable, two people don't support LGBTQ+, two people are LGBTQ+, and one person supports it. We all get along and have friendly discussions about things we disagree on, like this, politics, and of course fandoms.

(I'm not Christian anymore, so I'm sorry if I get something wrong): Maybe God created your friend this way for a reason. If he loves everybody, there must be a reason that he would create you both and have you meet.

It was also national coming out day on Wednesday, where people use it as an opportunity to build courage to come out. She probably knows that not everyone will be comftorable with the new information, and will want to talk to her about it. I think the best thing you can do is to talk to her. Maybe you could talk to her and learn more about this other side (you still don't have to agree). You can also let her know that you aren't comftorable with this, and that you don't want to talk about it until you think things over more, but that you still value her friendship and want to be her friend. It sounds like you don't really want to stop being her friend like the Admin said, you're just conflicted.

submitted by GreenMango
(October 13, 2017 - 5:48 am)

I don't think I understand why this is concerning. She's still the same person as before. I guess you could tell her as gently as possible that you're not comfortable with it and/or discussion related to it, but that you don't want that to end your friendship. It seems she trusts you and wants to be honest with you; I'm sure she'd be glad to know you feel the same. Take the time to explain it all to yourself, and then explain it to her the best way you can. If you're okay with it, I would like to hear it, too. I want to understand. I think I may be better able to help if I do.

submitted by Viola?, age Secret, Secret
(October 13, 2017 - 7:18 am)

Ok. Hold up. This is actually a thread. Ok. Let me get over my shock. *deep breaths* 

Lets start off by you putting yourself in their shoes. How would you want your friends to treat you if you were LGBTQ+? Would you want others to understand? To treat you with the same kindness and respect as they did before. Think of all the courage she mustve had to tell you. She would want you to be understanding. Shes still the same person. And she cant change who she is, but you can change how you look at LGBTQ+. There is such thing as Empathy.

submitted by Claaws, Class of 2020
(October 13, 2017 - 10:03 pm)

I think it's okay if it feels a little strange for you at first. It might take time to get used to, but your friend is still the same person and you don't have to see her any differently. Maybe you should try to tell her honestly how you feel, and ask her what you could do to make it easier for her. I'm Catholic, and I've had a few friends ask if it was against Christian beliefs to be friends with LGBT+ people, and it's definitely not! Jesus ate meals and hung around those rejected by society of his time, and God loves every person the same. Your friendship with her doesn't have to end. I will be praying for you <3 

submitted by Bluebird
(October 14, 2017 - 7:35 pm)

I get that it might be a bit surprising at first, if you didn't have an inkling that your friend was LGBTQA+, but like eveyone else is saying, nothing has changed about her. She is still the person you know and are incredibly fond of.

submitted by Pepper Star
(October 15, 2017 - 4:02 pm)