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Apologies to All
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Apologies to All
Apologies to All
Listen, I know things have been rough. For goodness sake, 99% of it was my fault. Ha, imagine that. My starting an argument... a war... wow, that is a first! Seriously, I just get defensive over this. I have LGBTQA+ friends. I know people on here who are too, we all do. And I find that a beautiful, beautiful thing. Maybe you all don't, and that's okay. This thread isn't to argue, I just want to apologize.
While I still stand by my beliefs, I felt I was a tad - no, let's be honest, a whole lot - rude about it all. What can I say? I am quick, very quick, to anger. But that isn't an excuse. I hurt you guys, you hurt me, and the Admins and I - oh my goodness, it reminds me of little children. Bicker bicker bicker. I mean, I am not the only one. There are quite a few of us protesting, upset, angry, or hurt. We're all a group of friends. We all lashed out at each other, and I am sorry. No, I wasn't +. I honestly have no idea who he or she was, but she was brave. Even if you don't think so, it doesn't matter. I keep that in my heart and head.
But, back to the apology. Wow, I am not very good at this. This... apologizing business. Yeah, not my deal. But I have to do it. I have caused too much dismay. I mean, it's pretty bad when like 30 of your comments/posts get deleted. Trust me, I saved them all. It's a lot. But that partially was my fault. Partially not. But still, what I was saying is true to me, and that is what I saw as right. Maybe I needed to also consider others? Yeah, even Admins have emotions. Hard to imagine. But they do. If I can't sleep and I know the others can't, then I know the Admins are like the walking dead. xD
I meant that in a kind way, you know? I'm ranting now, but I don't care. I want diversity, and it'll come. I promise you that, my friends out there who wish the same. It isn't a matter of.. age. Or rules. Or this or that. Because we are following the rules. Have you researched, friends? There is so much out there. The internet is so big and wide. And the government has a lot to say. But I don't want to turn this into an argument or discussion of what is right and wrong! I am just set in my beliefs. Call me a stubborn mule if you want. xD
And Leafy, to you in particular, I am sorry I came across that way in the poem and "Leaving?" thing. I didn't mean to. I do care about Cho and Daisy and the others, but this is a different issue than then. I still miss them dearly, Daisy and I were great friends! I didn't really know Cho too well but she was super nice. I just care bucketloads for you guys, and I want everyone to be accepted. I can count like at least 5 people (not giving names in due respect) who are probably hurt because they are LGBTQA+ and are part of the CB. I won't go on with rants about how they are hurt, we all know this. You get my idea, and I know you - somewhere deep down - see it too.
But anyways, it doesn't matter. I am not losing faith in you guys. We'll be the change like Gared wanted. It might take a while for y'all to see that, but it's okay. Meanwhile, I will keep on fighting for diversity in my world while you live in yours. I'm not leaving - someday, when it's time - but not now. Love you all guys, stay strong my friends!
submitted by Ashlee G., age 16, The Dreamer
(July 7, 2017 - 6:41 pm)
(July 7, 2017 - 6:41 pm)
Some of you may try. You may try to change my mind. You may try to get me to see what's 'right' to you. But I WILL stand up for what I believe in. Because I'm stubborn too, but the other way around. I don't want to change. I don't want to change the CB. It's been changed enough already'. And I feel like I'm fighting the world. Fighting the world by myself.
I'm sorry.
But I will fight for what I believe in.
I will bring our old CB back, or leave trying.
(July 8, 2017 - 7:44 am)
You're not alone Leeli. I promise you that.
(July 8, 2017 - 10:49 am)
Thank you, friend.
@Ashlee,
I feel the same way as Leafpool, and I hope the My post in no way offended you. I hope we can still be friends, even if we have different beliefs. *hugs*
(July 8, 2017 - 2:13 pm)
Hey, I totally understand, Leeli. I am not trying to change people or what they believe in. I just want to change the acceptance on the CB. I know what you believe, and I totally respect that. You are a wonderful CBer, with so many bright, creative ideas and you are always there for everyone.
You aren't fighting the world by yourself, okay? You and I might see differently but in the end we all have the same goal we are fighting for. Well, not everyone. But many of us do. Don't forget that.
And please don't leave, Leeli. I can't describe in words how you have changed the CB for the better, with your brightness and great ideas. I love everything you do here - don't change and please don't leave.
(July 8, 2017 - 11:15 am)
Thank you. You almost made me cry there. XD I know I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I'm not leaving unless I have to. Maybe I just need to take a break or something, and wait until some things blow over. Leaving is a last resort. A resort I'm afraid I might have to use. But I'll do everything I can to stay for as long as possible. Of course I'll leave someday, we all do. But I hope that day doesn't come soon. I don't want to be on different sides, but I think we do have different opinions. I hope this will all blow over and mayb the CB can go back to the writing site it used to be.
(July 9, 2017 - 8:10 am)
Please don't leave. I don't want anyone to feel like they're alone or fighting. I know this is hard, and I know people will probably be hurt no matter what we do, but the CB will change anyway; it is the essence of it. New threads are created and added to and buried. We begin stories and write them, and eventually they end. We develop problems and fix them. We get older.
Please don't feel like you have to fight, like we're trying to take something away from you. I admire that you will stand for it, but I am sorry you think you have to. I know what it's like to lose something and to wish you had it back, to miss it more than you thought you could, to feel as though your heart is breaking for the lack of it. I know what it's like to yearn for what you've lost and think yourself foolish for not realizing what you had. I can't get it back. Even if I did, it wouldn't be the same.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm chained to a treadmill that's taking me away from everything I've ever loved, and it's a terrible feeling, and it hurts, and sometimes I cry. But it's been a long time since the chains were put on, and they feel as though they've gotten lighter. Looking around, I've found new things that I've started to love, and it still hurts but it's getting better. Some of the new things have stopped moving with me, but I can bear it more easily because I know there's more ahead. What I've left behind hasn't lost its value, but I survived without it and I think I can do it again.
Please don't leave. I love your writing, your characters and your worlds, the vivid scenes you set. You're sweet and courageous, and I imagine at times we may disagree, but I don't want to lose you. The treadmill pulls and I never stop missing what's gone...
(July 8, 2017 - 12:59 pm)
Thank you Viola. Thank you so much. I don't want to leave either. I'm afraid I might have to though, as much as I hate to hurt myself and everyone this way. I don't have to make a 'Should I Leave?" Thread to know that no one wants to see me go, to know that I am cared about. I won't be leaving too soon, but I see the clouds in the distance, coming slowly closer, and I tend to run from thunder. I'm sorry. I'll do everything I can to stay for as long as possible, though.
(July 8, 2017 - 5:28 pm)
I'm sorry, Leeli! I posted to yours really early this morning and it never showed up. Maybe I'll try again.
Of course, we can still be friends, Leeli! *Hugs* We might have different opinions although I think in the end we have the same end goal. You know? Maybe not everyone. But I feel you and I do. Just please don't leave, Leeli! You are spectacular and unique and a real light to this place! I really appreciate all you have done here. The CB really wouldn't be the same without you.
(July 8, 2017 - 7:17 pm)
Ashlee, it's okay. I love you like you're my big sister, and it hurts me that we have to be opposed in this matter. We are opposites when it comes to all this. But that doesn't mean we have to be enemies. I forgive you, and I will keep forgiving you whatever happens.
So show them how to lead/don't leave them hungry, chasing dreams--Ashlee, stay and be an example to everyone. Show us how to lead.
I love you, virtual big sister.
*Barges into thread, panting* *Turns to Leafpool* I'm sorry to ruin your sentimental moment, but
ZEOONNNN!!! *Hurls self at Zeon* I'm so glad you're staying, darling. You told me that you wouldn't leave for a long, long time and I'm tying you to that promise. If you ever left, I would have to have Leafpool wipe my memory, and believe me I'll do anything to prevent that.
(July 8, 2017 - 10:15 am)
Aww, thank you, Leafy! I hate being on opposing sides, but sometimes we have to do what we believe in. I really appreciate that you are willing to forgive, not many would. No matter what, I'll always forgive you and cherish you like my little sis. Always.
I promise I will stay. Although you all are such fantastic leaders already, I know that much. Brilliant, in fact. Better leaders than myself or an official leader or anyone. Because you guys are you.
Love you, sis *Hugs*
*Turns with wide eyes* ARWEENNN!! My love!! I am not leaving, and if I did I would fight and scream and lock myself in a closet until Ash brought me back. I will never leave you! I would die to know your memory would be wiped!
(July 8, 2017 - 2:08 pm)
I think we all need to just accept each other and accept our differences of opinions. We can all believe in different things and still be friends. We are already a diverse community, we all come from different backgrounds. And that's a good thing.
So *Hugs* everyone, I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone or thier beliefs in this post.
(July 9, 2017 - 7:17 pm)
Yep, we all need to do that. Otherwise where will we end up going?
(July 10, 2017 - 6:07 pm)