Chatterbox: Down to Earth

A little girl stood on the fringes of a crowded room, looking desperately around for a place she could call her own. she nervously brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, trying desterately to ignore the twisted feeling in her stomach and the fact that her heart seemed to be running miles ahead of her. She took a deep breath, and one tentative step later was inside the room. It really was crowded. Several people were sprawled on the floor playing twister, everyone was eating cupcakes, listening to music, chatting... A group of people in a corner were busily planning a story. She tried to take a step towards them, but they were too absorbed in the conversation to notice. Too absorbed to notice she had been missing now for a while. Too absorbed to notice the shy, anxious face. But they were so nice, so kind, they had done so much for her. So why had she drifted? Why had she gone away? She took another step towards the center, and awkwardly raised her voice to a squeek.

Uh... Hi?

No one noticed. No one even looked her way. Slowly, like in a dream, the girl made her way to the center of the room. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She had failed them all. She had no commitment, she had lost everything she had, she had slipped down the slope, that was it. That was why she was so lost. Oh goodness. Her legs were shaking, and now she felt that she could bear it no longer. One desperate gasp for air, and she sat down on the floor. Like a dream. Like a dream. She sat down in the middle of the floor and began to talk.

Hi? Hello? Anyone hear me?

Slowly, the people in the room began to turn towards her. The planning girls interrupted their conversation. The twister group froze in awkward positions. Someone turned off the music. And the girl in center kept talking. Like in a dream.

Hi everyone. I know, I know. I haven't really been present for the past like... two months? I don't know if anyone noticed. Probably no one did, I'm not that active anyway. But nonetheless, I feel like I just failed everyone. So, I'm sorry. I don't even really know why I drifted, why I decided to leave this wonderful community. I don't know why I made this choice. But I've missed you all. I think. No, I'm sure. I don't really know what's been going on in my life lately. I feel like I've had no commitment to anything, and am just failing everyone. So I'm sorry. I'll try to come back, I really will. You have my word, if that's worth anything.

So, here's what's been  up in my life recently. I finished freshman year with straight A's (no idea how), discovered studygrams and bullet journals and got a little bit obsessed, fell in love with Halsey, TOP, Twenty One Pilots, Coldplay, Panic! At The Disco, Alessia Cara, and Imagine Dragons. I found that I get really really anxious more often than I'd like. I've gone through summer school for a class I hated. I got a pack of fifteen highlighters. I haven't written five words together or read a full book. I've felt like I've gone back on five hundred principles. I've tried and tried and failed. I've missed you and I don't think I've been missed. I've felt alone and I've felt lonely. I want to come back, I really do. I wonder if I will let myself. Will you tell me what I've missed? Will you tell me if I can come back? Will I be welcome? Will you give me a hug? Will you be okay with me being so whiny and annoying? Oh, friends of mine, I'm sorry.

The girl looked around, her heart pulsing in her head. She was surprised that some people had listened for so long, and she thanked them silently. And then, she had nothing more to do but sit silently and listen for their response.

Welcome back, Booksy. Of course you're welcome!

Admin