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A little girl
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A little girl
A little girl stood on the fringes of a crowded room, looking desperately around for a place she could call her own. she nervously brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, trying desterately to ignore the twisted feeling in her stomach and the fact that her heart seemed to be running miles ahead of her. She took a deep breath, and one tentative step later was inside the room. It really was crowded. Several people were sprawled on the floor playing twister, everyone was eating cupcakes, listening to music, chatting... A group of people in a corner were busily planning a story. She tried to take a step towards them, but they were too absorbed in the conversation to notice. Too absorbed to notice she had been missing now for a while. Too absorbed to notice the shy, anxious face. But they were so nice, so kind, they had done so much for her. So why had she drifted? Why had she gone away? She took another step towards the center, and awkwardly raised her voice to a squeek.
Uh... Hi?
No one noticed. No one even looked her way. Slowly, like in a dream, the girl made her way to the center of the room. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She had failed them all. She had no commitment, she had lost everything she had, she had slipped down the slope, that was it. That was why she was so lost. Oh goodness. Her legs were shaking, and now she felt that she could bear it no longer. One desperate gasp for air, and she sat down on the floor. Like a dream. Like a dream. She sat down in the middle of the floor and began to talk.
Hi? Hello? Anyone hear me?
Slowly, the people in the room began to turn towards her. The planning girls interrupted their conversation. The twister group froze in awkward positions. Someone turned off the music. And the girl in center kept talking. Like in a dream.
Hi everyone. I know, I know. I haven't really been present for the past like... two months? I don't know if anyone noticed. Probably no one did, I'm not that active anyway. But nonetheless, I feel like I just failed everyone. So, I'm sorry. I don't even really know why I drifted, why I decided to leave this wonderful community. I don't know why I made this choice. But I've missed you all. I think. No, I'm sure. I don't really know what's been going on in my life lately. I feel like I've had no commitment to anything, and am just failing everyone. So I'm sorry. I'll try to come back, I really will. You have my word, if that's worth anything.
So, here's what's been up in my life recently. I finished freshman year with straight A's (no idea how), discovered studygrams and bullet journals and got a little bit obsessed, fell in love with Halsey, TOP, Twenty One Pilots, Coldplay, Panic! At The Disco, Alessia Cara, and Imagine Dragons. I found that I get really really anxious more often than I'd like. I've gone through summer school for a class I hated. I got a pack of fifteen highlighters. I haven't written five words together or read a full book. I've felt like I've gone back on five hundred principles. I've tried and tried and failed. I've missed you and I don't think I've been missed. I've felt alone and I've felt lonely. I want to come back, I really do. I wonder if I will let myself. Will you tell me what I've missed? Will you tell me if I can come back? Will I be welcome? Will you give me a hug? Will you be okay with me being so whiny and annoying? Oh, friends of mine, I'm sorry.
The girl looked around, her heart pulsing in her head. She was surprised that some people had listened for so long, and she thanked them silently. And then, she had nothing more to do but sit silently and listen for their response.
Welcome back, Booksy. Of course you're welcome!
Admin
submitted by Booksy Owly
(June 30, 2017 - 9:31 pm)
(June 30, 2017 - 9:31 pm)
BOOKSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
*tackle hugs*
I missed you!
That was a well-written scene buuuuuuut I'm sorry to say that part of it was....
....inaccurate!
*giggles*
Let me rewrite some of it for you, with our real reactions. Here's how it would have gone:
"Uh...Hi!"
Everyone stops talking, and before the girl can even comprehend what's going on, the people in the room come charging at her, yelling happily and talking all at once. Somewhere in the distance an AE starts throwing LifeSavers. They almost run over poor Booksy, because they are so excited to hear from her, to see her, to have her back.
A girl with long brown hair and currently folded-in owl wings steps forward and smiles,
"BOOKSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
she cries, and tackle-hugs the girl. "I missed you!"
And she speaks some more...
First of all, I completely and 100% understand you! To be honest your "returning post" sounds a lot like mine, a couple weeks ago. Got very busy, wasn't active for a couple months, missed the CB yet was unable to get back to it, sometimes because of business but sometimes, while feeling guilty about it, simply feeling like being drifted away from it. And feeling sorry for doing so.
But here's the thing: you don't have to feel sorry! You did not fail us. We're not angry or having any kind of negative emotion towards you. All I feel is happy that you're here! Apology accepted but not, cuz you didn't need it. :)
It's completely understandable that you get busy. Freshman year is quite a load! It sounds like you've had a good time though, and we're really glad about that! <3
Congrats on getting all A's. Those are some cool music selections, and quite a lot of highlighters! In response to your questions....
Yes you've been missed, yes you can have another hug (I would have given them to you even if you didn't ask) *hugs*. As for updating you, it is late, but I can definitely update you. One thing happening started on June 25, when + made a post, and then it sparked discussion, clarification of some rules, and proved too much for Gared. You can see that on C@C. Uh oh, my parents are coming home! Sorry to throw that negativity, but I wanted you to hear it from me first, because, I don't want you to have a bad idea of stuff. That makes no sense, sorry! I can give you a real update with a better explanation, but not at the moment. Besides that there's some really awesome stuff going on here, in many different areas of the CB. Some really cool stuff is starting up again, and some compeltely new things.
And your other questions....Of course you can come back. You are back! You are welcome, and you're not whiny or annoying. I get that you might think that from your perspective, but it's not true. Trust me, I tell you the truth!
I'm glad you're back.
Oh, and Bluebird made a completely jaw-dropping digital art of you based on a drawing she did before. Check it out on the art posting thread!
Glad to glad to glad to have you back.
(June 30, 2017 - 11:01 pm)
Owlgiiirl! My fellow owl! *hugs back* I've missed you so so so much!!! I'm so glad we've both come back! I feel like we all drift at some point, but the important thing is that we drift back. I read the thread by + and for now I'm going to stay out of it, but I'm so sorry it ended up being too much for Gared. He will be very much missed, and I'm sorry he left before I got a chance to say goodbye. Ooh, I'll go check out Bluebird's drawing. She's always such an amazing artist, her drawings leave me in awe. What's been up in your life? I've missed you so much!!!
(July 2, 2017 - 6:11 pm)
(June 30, 2017 - 11:36 pm)
BOOOOOOKKKKSSSYYYYY!!!! *Runs and gives a full hearted bear hug*
I've missed you so much! We all have! NEVER talk as if you aren't noticed again, oh my, how we've missed you!!
For one, I love that little narrative. Quite beautiful, it is a brilliant reminder of your sweet words and talented writing. Second, I've totally noticed you were gone! Like I said, we've missed you dreadfully! This just made my day a whole bucketful better! Long story...
Anyways, straight A's is fantastic! Join the team! *Highfive* TOP, Panic!, Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, all those guys are amazing! Ohh, here's a twist: Listen to some Residente or Calle 13! Trust me, it's worth a shot! PURE awesomeness!
Oh, you are always welcomed back! Not once would I ever say no! And you aren't whiny or annoying, you are a brilliant friend and part of the family, so welcome back!!!
*GIANT HUG* Here, take a virtual hug, my dear friend!
(June 30, 2017 - 11:47 pm)
AAAASHHHLEEE! I've missed you, CB big sis! *hugs back* Boy, I'm glad to be back. Thanks for the music recs, I'll be sure to check them out. How have you been? What's been up in your life? And thanks for the compliments on the story, kind of just wrote it on a whim :). By the way, I love the new location box. <3 Booksy
(July 2, 2017 - 6:17 pm)
Aww, thanks! I've been pretty good! Finally got published for a poem in Canvas Literary Journal (don't know if you saw that a while back...?) and I'm homeschooled now too. Although I think you saw that. Anyways, all's good! How have you been recently?
And you're welcome! I find some of the best stories are written on a whim. Thank you so much! I felt it really fit me more, because I am... well, a dreamer. :D
(July 5, 2017 - 1:09 pm)
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I understand how you feel, I feel like I don't really post much anymore, even though I probably do. But I'm glad to see you're back. Have I ever told you I like your name? Cause I do. I feel like it suits you. Sorry for that random off topicness. Anyhoo... HUGS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tackle hugs and then hugs some more*
(July 1, 2017 - 12:38 am)
Epic Fangirl! I've missed you! I'm so glad I get to see you again! Thanks for the welcome back and well wishes. How have you been?
(July 2, 2017 - 6:20 pm)
Booksy, of course you're welcome! The only reason I didn't notice you were gone, is because I was gone too. I had been inactive until a few days ago when I began slowly drifting back. I do it a lot it turns out. I drift away and drift back. With no warnings sometimes. So, there's no need to be sorry, and 15 highlighters? LUCKY!!!!!!!
Welcome back!
*hugs and cookies*
(July 1, 2017 - 8:16 am)
Leeli! Welcome back to you too, in that case! Woohoo! I've missed you and your beautiful art! Yup, 15 highlighters for 15 years ;). *hugs back* *munches on cookies * How've you been?
(July 2, 2017 - 6:24 pm)
Of course you're welcome, Booksy! You're one of the few CBers I remember from when I was on a while ago. You'll always be special to the CB, and welcome here!
~Starseeker
(July 1, 2017 - 9:34 am)
Aw, thank you Starseeker! I've missed you too! How have you been?
(July 2, 2017 - 6:25 pm)
(July 1, 2017 - 2:14 pm)
Meeeeiiii! I've missed you so so much! I need more on your personality and optimism in my life. I'm actually not doing NaNo this July, since my family will be traveling. I'll still try to write though. And an A- still counts as an A, at least in my book! A study gram is an instagram account (yeah, I know, I use social media, how dare I?) that people use to post notes, journals, and stationary. They're very pretty. I don't think I have anxiety on a medical level. *shrugs* Thanks for the advice though. As for summer school, at least I have it over with and won't have to spend a full semester on that class. Good things. How have you been? I've missed you so much!!
(July 2, 2017 - 6:33 pm)
I don't know if I know you, but I don't care. *hugs*
(July 2, 2017 - 12:43 pm)