Hey, LilyPad! I'm so sorry! I do not have any advice - I'll think over it tonight and post tomorrow. 

Wait!

Perhaps you should tell your mom - or talk to every single one of your friends and have them share their opinions- then share yours.

I hope that helps, tomorrow I'll have better advice.

~Foxy 

Hey, I was in the same situation! Small school, different friends who don't get along and trying to stay neutral, one girl who causes a lot of drama. I get it. One of my friends, I'll say K, came to my school in 4th grade, and it was rough for her transitioning. She was pretty mean, and violent (she's one of those people who acts really tough and stuff) and she kind of tries to get a rise out of people. Like the kids in your class, everyone except me (I somehow managed to get her to like me/put up with her and she treated me OK) didn't really bully her, but they weren't nice either. It's HARD, I know, trying to not pick a side/gossip/find time for both friends or friend groups, but I was in the exact same situation as you, so if you ever need to vent (because trust me, I did it a lot when it was happening to me, it helps), you can talk to me.

OK, so my first few years with K were tough. My other friends gossiped about her and she gossiped about them. Most of the time, I just kept a blank face and said nothing. (that's not always the right thing, though- standing up for your friends is good, too) I think something that helped me a lot was just staying quiet when I was tempted to say something mean or hurtful. It's OK if you just snap- I did more than once, and sometimes, you might just need some alone time. As for the time spent with either side, I would try to work out an agreement such as "I'll sit by you tomorrow since I sat with ? today" or "since ? was my partner on the last project, I'll be yours this time". 

It will get better. Your friends will mature and there won't be as much petty fighting. (although, I'm in 7th grade, and while there's not as many dumb arguments there is still a lot of gossip) You are a good person, Lilypad, remember that! Even nice people have their limits, and don't let people treat you badly. I'd say just keep trying to be nice, but if it gets out of hand don't be afraid to leave S. Real friends shouldn't cause stress or hurt you.

Talking to a parent or someone you trust helps a lot, too. You can always vent on the CB! 

Lily, I promise everything will get better! But I... Wow, this is the first thing I actually cannot answer with adequate advice. I am reading, re-reading, and thinking. Okay, I might have something that could help.

The reason why I can't answer this too well is because my school before I left (I am homeschooled) was the same way. Pre-K through 12th has a little over 100 kids now. So small-school politics in a sense. And this happened with one of my old friends vs the entire school practically. Let's just call her J, and she made some mistakes. These mistakes weren't the best, and she strived too hard to fit in, standing out even more. She then became somewhat stuck up and snaps at certain people who try to annoy her. It isn't in anger and hatred between J and my friends, but it is off edge.

So you want to know how I handle this? Maybe it will help you too. First, take a deep breath. Let go of your pride, or fear, or anything you might have. And the best thing to do is be nice. Maybe invite her over to your house, get to know her better. Become her friend. If she still dejects you, then it isn't worth your time. Still, don't be mean, just become neutral. But maybe she is tired of being picked on, or wants to fit in. Trust me, kids turn mean when they want to fit in with the popular kids. And they usually fail, leading to even more anger and attitude.

So give it a shot! I know this is not a ton of help, but I am extremely lost with this because I am battling the same thing.  

Could you try to convince the people in your class that they're actually being mean to S and being as bad as she was? Because they seem to be upset with her for being mean. Is it possible that they just can't see that they're being hurtful?

You can also try telling people that the best way to make someone stop being mean is to calmly confront them and say what she's been doing wrong. 

In my opinion, it isn't that bad that people have stopped being S's friend. If she hurt them, at some point they have to stop giving in to her. The only bad thing is when they're actively mean to her. Which it sounds like they are being.

Also, it might help to write everything down. It sounds like you've gotten a lot of accounts of the same thing. Maybe writing it down will be a way to evaluate everything. 

Sorry, I bet you've already tried all of this. 

P.S. I'm a bit unclear about whether S was your friend before all this began. Was she?

It's admirable to stand alone in order to maintain the peace, and turn the other cheek.  It's what the Bible tells us to do, and it takes a person of great character to be able to do it, especially in a situation such as yours. 

It sounds like over all you've managed to stay neutral pretty well, and not condone either party in the situation.  But remember that your feelings and what happens to you matters.  Maybe the girls aren't treating each other nicely, but you've done all you can to keep and make peace.  If an argument brews, there isn't much you can do, especially since you aren't related or especially close to either one.  

"S" sounds like a person who has some issues in her life, and maybe some things y'all don't know about are effecting why she's acting out.  That in no way condones her attitude and actions, of course.  Just means that there's probably more to it, and well out of your control.  It was one thing for you to be nice to her, but since she's now getting you in trouble, I'd say it's best to cut ties and stay away.  I'm not saying to act like the other girls in your class, by no means.  Just that don't go out of your way to be a peacemaker, and don't really allow yourself to be around S.  When you start to suffer for her actions, it's time to step back.  Same goes with the other girls who insist on making trouble for her too, and starting arguments.  Maybe S instigates them, but the others choose to retaliate and choose to be mean.  Maybe being nice didn't work, as they said.  But that doesn't warrant a complete 180.  The thing to do in that situation is maintain a polite disposition, but keep a distance.  

If S keeps coming up to you and acting like friends, even after that, then be blunt and tell her that you don't dislike her like the other girls, but tell her you don't want to get in trouble anymore because of the feuding.  If S doesn't respect that, then it becomes her problem.  You've done nothing wrong, and are blameless.  Maybe that won't make you popular with either side, but it's better to be blameless alone then at fault with a group.  Just try not to get pinned in any situation that would allow you to be brought into something.  Such as avoid sitting with S, or anyone who is going to try to antagonize S, at lunch or recess.  If you get paired with them for a project, don't be afraid to go to a teacher if things look like they're heating up.  In an environment such as school, it's easy for the innocent to get blamed based on the setup and how the teacher can't adequately judge each situation.  So being up front with the teacher shows honesty and a commitment to peace.  

Either way, just don't stress being overly nice to either one, or making peace.  It's not fun to be in a war zone so to speak, but you're not obligated to be anything more than polite and civil.  Especially when people are bent on making trouble.

Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you *hugs*

You're an amazing person, and I know others agree with me. This won't change any of our opinions about how wonderful you are. Lily, you're my best CB friend, and I'll always be there for you. We'll always be there for you. And I'm sorry I can't offer any additional advice, but just do what your heart tells you.

*Hugs again*