Places to Chat
Help, please.
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Help, please.
Help, please.
My friend (let's call her Emily) has recently 'broken up' with her 'boyfriend' (let's call him Sam). Emily called me crying today and said that since she's switching schools next year, he said that things wouldnt work out. He said they could still be friends though.
The thing is, Emily says she 'loves' Sam. Half the time, our conversations lead to him. I'm the quieter one that prefers to listen rather than talk, so I usually just listen to Emily talk. Usually she talks about Sam.
I'm really really really tired of Sam. I've met him a bunch of times, and we're friends, and he's super nice, but I've started to resent him a little bit. He's caused Emily so much emotional turmoil, like today she told me her heart was broken because of what happened.
I'm also jealous. He's stealing Emily away from me. He is her favorite thing to talk about, and whenever he's around, she always chooses him over me. For example, one time we went to see Doctor Strange in theaters with out youth group last year around Christmas. She arrived to the movie a little bit late, which I totally understand. I saved her a seat, and everything. Sam was sitting on a different row. When she got there, she immediately sat next to him. Call me stupid and immature, but I cried for the rest of the movie (it was dark and we had 3-D glasses, so no one saw). When we got back to our youth group building, we all had lots of time to hang out and talk. Me, Sam and Emily all went to the back room, where there weren't any people so we could talk and stuff. We were in the dark (idk why, we just sat in the dark for no reason). We were talking, and playing music and it was great.
The next day, Emily comes and tells me that when we were sitting in the dark, she and Sam held hands. Of course, I tried not to be mad (and wasn't in front of her), and just made jokes about me being the third wheel. I do this a lot, and of course she always tells me that I'm not a third wheel, and I'm her BFF, etc, but I don't believe it. I always try to act happy for her whenever she talks about when she spent time with Sam, (she's kissed him a couple of times, of course I had to act excited for her).
Truth is, I think she's in over her head. SHe's not even 14 yet, I think she's wayyy too young to be kissing guys and 'falling in love', but I can't tell her that.
I just need advice on what to do.
Also, this kind of goes without saying, but please don't try to guess who I am. There's people that I know in real life on here, and if they saw this they would know exactly who Sam and Emily are, and they might bring up this thread in a conversation, and this is the first time I've told anyone my real feelings on the Sam and Emily situation.
I hope this thread makes any sense at all. Thanks for taking the time to read this really long post.
It seems like Sam is ending the relationship wisely, so I advise you to just be there for Emily. She should welcome having you around to support her.
Admin
submitted by nobody
(May 9, 2017 - 5:48 pm)
(May 9, 2017 - 5:48 pm)
Hey nobody! I'm so sorry that happened, I feel ya. But first off, I believe that you really are Emily's best friend. Look, I know it doesn't seem that way, but people (especially teens) can get somewhat centered around having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I've seen it before. That is what happened with Emily, BUT, think about this a second. Emily is sharing a lot of personal stuff with you, she wouldn't do that if you weren't her bff. Also, she TOLD you that you were. I know shr might make you feel like a third wheel at times, but that can happen if you become centered around a boy or girlfriend. Also, chances are she didn't realize she was doing it. Just give it some time to blow over.
(May 9, 2017 - 8:33 pm)
I am so, so, sorry. I've got an issue myself, too, and I know how it feels. It's a different situation, but still really.... frustrating? Not really the right word.
My friend IRL likes me. (She's not on the CB, as far as I know. None of you on here know me IRL either, I'm pretty sure.) It's not a big problem. I support LBGTQ+ people, but it's awkward and a little heartwrenching, because I only like her as a friend. And she's such a good friend..argh....
Anyway, I hope things get better for you. Just support her, I'm sure it'll be okay.
Good Luck.....
(May 9, 2017 - 8:43 pm)
(May 10, 2017 - 5:42 am)
Wow, I am sorry. First off, Emily is still your friend, remember that. Sometimes people get caught up in their "love of their lives" and forget about the people who really matter. In general, I would say long-distance relationships can work, but she's so young that not having to worry about boys is a good thing. Just stick by her side, stay strong, and don't fret. It might take a couple weeks (trust me, I know girls who went through the same thing) and then she will recover. Just keep on being her best friend, that person she can lean on when times get hard. I would love to give more advice, but I have to go. I wish you the best of luck! Sometimes time and support are all that people need, just don't forget about your friend, push your jealousy away, and smile. Be glad they aren't getting married or something, I mean... I've heard of kids her age getting married. Or at least, I mean, being engaged. It happens quite often, in fact.
(May 10, 2017 - 12:00 pm)
Where in the world did Emily's Best come from? XD I don't even know who E is lol.
(May 10, 2017 - 5:59 pm)
Nobody...I'm so sorry you are in this place, I'm sure it would be really hard! Like Will said, I think the fact that she is sharing this information with you means a lot. I think trust your friend that she is telling you that she is your bff. I think you should be there for her, listen to her, let her lean on you, hug her, tell her you're sorry and that if there is anything you can do you will. Care for your bff...because, well, she's your friend.
(May 10, 2017 - 8:30 pm)
thanks for the advice guys. i really appreciate it. thanks as well for not judging me for being a little mad at Sam.
(May 11, 2017 - 1:14 pm)
You are welcome! No worry about being judged, your feelings are your own. I would not dare judge someone knowing that a similar situation could happen to myself at any time. Hope all goes well for you!
(May 11, 2017 - 3:28 pm)