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Chatterbox: Down to Earth
AE Thread!
AE Thread!
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"I can't believe it. Have we really not posted since 2016?" Hobbes frowns from where he is sprawled out on a psychiatrist-style leather couch. He reaches over his shoulder for a handful of popcorn from a blue plastic bowl, which he tosses into his mouth in one go.
"It's true," Critic sighs, holding up her iPad to the tiger anthro's face, where the screen shows a graph of all the CB appearances by Abi and Co, the last one being at Ronan's holiday party.
Hobbes snatches at the tablet to look more closely, but Critic glances distastefully at his popcorn-butter stained hands and moves it out of his reach. "We've been on break since December."
"Dang," Hobbes says eloquently.
Critic daintily sits down on a spring-green lounge chair. "It is quite a travesty."
"What's a what?" Mandy pokes her head around the doorframe, a lump of flour on her nose and a freshly baked muffin in hand.
"We haven't been on CB in two months," Hobbes explains.
Mandy gasps. "No! This is verily not good!
Critic shudders at the atrocious grammar. Hobbes stuffs a fistful of popcorn into her mouth to keep the bespectacled AE from commenting further.
"Terrible! Awful!" Mandy sighs dramatically, flopping into Critic's lap and keels backwards, pretending to faint, hand pressed to her forehead. "Bad! Monstrous! Horrid!" Critic groans loudly and tries to push Mandy off of her, but she won't budge.
"How am I supposed to worldbuild with all that racket?" Abi grumbles, entering the lounge with arms crossed and a pencil behind her ear.
Hobbes explains over Mandy's continual cries of synonyms for 'bad', and Abigail's eyes widen.
"Wow, you guys are right. I hadn't realized it had been that long. You know what time it is?"
"Um, muffin time?" Mandy chirps hopefully, sitting up.
"Shut up about those perfectly atrocious muffins!" Critic grumbles.
Abi continues over Mandy's offended shout— "It's time for your grand reentrance!"
---
So yeah!
We've returned. Or something. *halfhearted jazz hands*
I'm positive they've all missed me terribly.
...Yeah. Keep on telling yourself that.
Excuse me?
Aaaaaanyway! We decided, what better way to get back into the swing of things than a grand! Glorious! Amazing...
This is excruciating.
...Perfect! Fun! Awesome! Insane!
We're making an AE thread.
Hey, no fair! I wanted to do the big reveal!
Sucks to be you, I guess.
ABI! Hobbes is being mean!
Tattletale.
You're the one with the tail, Tiger-guy!
"Tiger-guy"?!?
Since these idiots seem to be, ahem, preoccupied, I'll explain. This is a hangout thread for AEs, one and all, sort of like old one by Feather and Dev. We'll be convening in that hotel that just physically manifested over there, out of Abi's imagination.
There's a kitchen with unlimited muffin- and pie-making supplies! And tons of unbreakable chandeliers to swing from! And tons of unswingable chandeliers to break!
The library upstairs is designated to be the sane area, with plenty of comfortable chairs and tea. Anywhere else, do your worst. Just stay away from the books with those pies. No exceptions!
(Also, there are defenses. We can't have certain owls with veggie blasters just sauntering in without protection, can we?)
Have fun in boringland, Critic. I'm in this to PAR-TAY! *tosses muffin-shaped confetti*
Have fun in crazyland, Amanda. I'm in this to relax.
There's one more thing. Can we try to go easy on the crushy drama?
Hey, I never agreed to this. Drama is fun! Drama is fun! Drama is fun!
Majority rules, Amanda. Hobbes and I both think there's plenty of it hence on this realm, and it would be far more congenial for all concerned to just unwind without the added social pressure of romance.
Speak English, girl!
That WAS English. What are you talking about?
Translation: Let's chill and light things on fire and play pranks and not worry about kissing. Tada! Not that hard, guys.
*singing* Feather might be there...!
We didn't say no crushing. Just... limited.
*raises skeptical eyebrow*
I propose we wrap this up now. Ookz, the CAPTCHA!
Oh, right! CAPTCHAs and CAPTCH-AEs and AE-TCHAs are allowed too. As long as you're not a sentient being, you're cool. Gotcha?
*from outside of door, banging on window* This is discrimination!
Quiet, Abi!
*Unta*
I think that translates to, "Underwater naiads take apples."
All right, Ookz. You do that.
Everyone here is non compos mentis. Pressing submit...
submitted by Abi and Co.
(February 26, 2017 - 1:17 pm)
(February 26, 2017 - 1:17 pm)
Ooh my, annother one of these. How delightful. My obvious sarcasm is obvious.
Don't mind Ultron. He fails at sarcasm.
I do NOT!
I've got a chocolate-cream pie blaster that is fully-loaded! RILE UP THE KILLER BUNNIES!!!! *Charges into the room surrounded by an army of rabbits*
Your dramatic entrance gets less dramatic every time.
Ooooooohhhh, was that sarcasm, Ultron? *Bats eyelashes*
No, that was irony.
I'll iron-y your FACE!!!
I'd like to see you try. Besides, Emerald *coy smile* it's time for MY dramatic enterance. And you definitely need to mess it up, otherwise it won't work.
Wait...huh?
Reverse psychology. Works every time. *Microphone appears in mid-air, lights dim, and Ultron's voice echoes through the room* PEOPLE OF EARTH, I COME IN PEACE! AND BY PEACE, I MEAN THAT IF YOU COOPERATE, YOU SHALL NOT BE EXTERMINATED BY MY ARMY OF ROBOTIC MECH-PIES!
THOSE LOOK LIKE HAMBURGERS WITH LITTLE-CRAB LEGS!
SHUT UP, EMERALD!
(February 28, 2017 - 8:47 pm)
Sam: Wait, what are cupcakes?
Wildflower: *Wipes pie from her apron* Have not you learned not to ask?
Sam: I'm gonna ask. Actually, you're gonna ask for me.
Wildflower: *Rolls eyes* HEY WORDSY! WHAT ARE CUPCAKES?
Sam: Ummm.... I'm just going to eat one and leave, whatever they are.
Wildflower: ...The door is locked.
(March 1, 2017 - 7:57 am)
*Gasps in dramatic horror* YOU. DON'T. KNOW. WHAT. CUPCAKES. ARE. Is it true, or do my eyes decieve me? How is this possible? You must try one right this second. *crams cupcake into Wildflower and Sam's mouths* They are the most amazing things on the planet! They are cupcakes! Like cake! But smaller! With frosting! And sprinkles! And filling! And hey are *faaaar* better than muffins. *glares at Mandy*
(March 1, 2017 - 3:21 pm)
How dare you.
Cupcakes are good, but muffins. Rule. All.
(March 1, 2017 - 9:31 pm)
Muffins are *okay* I suppose... *rolls eyes* Have a cupcake!
(March 1, 2017 - 11:39 pm)
Hey! Has anyone seen Jarnen around here? The library? Is there a cave anywhere here?
Secondly, Mandy, Please don't freak out over cupcakes/muffins thing.
Thirdly, have any of you tried frosted banana chocolate chip muffins?
(Kinda a blend of the two)
Try One!
Also, if anyone sees Jarnen, report to *Help!* in DTE.
Thanks!
--Mali
(March 1, 2017 - 9:42 pm)
*ominous rumbling*
*kicks open door* We have arrived!!
...you always do like to make a dramatic entrance.
It's what I live for, 8-Piece. *poses*
Um, okay then... hey there, everyone! While Mew's busy monologuing over there, I'll introduce us. For some reason we're fairly well-known around CB, but for those of you who don't--I'm 8-Piece, and my dramatic brother over there is MewFour. We're Clouded Leopard's AEs, and nice to meet you all!
I'm pumped! Let's go! Let's get the socializing ON with!
You seem excited.
Yes to all answers!
Wait, Mew--if you act like this now, people will think it's what you're normally like. You're sending mixed messages to the CB! They won't know the real MewFour!
Oh, come on, 8. Most already know what I'm really like (which I'm not ashamed of, by the way... it's good to be Mew) to appreciate this good mood while it lasts. I'm sure in awhile I'll be 'myself again'... *grins*
U-um--okay, if you say so. Oh well. I'm pretty excited to meet new AEs too! it's fun to talk to people you don't know for the first time, and I'm sure we'll make some new friends!
*whispers* What about Cassia, Dean, and Lee--
ALL AES. REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY REPLACED.
Woo! Let's get this on with!
MewFour's never this happy, and it's a bit scary to hear him cheer... huh. Wonder what happened.
Let's just hope it doesn't wear off by the time you two meet some new AEs...
(March 2, 2017 - 3:24 pm)
Wow, MewFour, having a good day?
Hey, 8-Piece! *Politely shakes hand*
I'm Malachite. I used to be Pellucid, before Aquina changed her name and became Quantum. Pleased to meet you again.
Now, someone pie-
I'll just do it.
*Pies MewFour*
(March 2, 2017 - 5:21 pm)
Hi, Niccoli. I was told to talk to you.
Real good job, DJ.
(March 2, 2017 - 7:44 pm)
*Grey, Doublock and I shove Niccolai forward*
Niccolai: What are you doing?!?!?!?
Me: Nick, this is DJ. Say hello.
Niccolai: But I-
Grey: No buts!
Doublock: You are going to make friends with DJ, or I will personally make you walk the plank.
Niccolai: Gulp... hello DJ...
Grey: We will leave you two to get aquatinted.
Me: No running off!
*Grey, Doublock and I leave Niccolai who stands there, confused*
Niccolai: Sooo... how'd they rope you into this?
(March 3, 2017 - 12:29 am)
They shoved me here. They said we were getting pizza.
(March 3, 2017 - 5:50 pm)
Hi everyone! This is my AE: Estella
Hello. I'm Estella. Nice to meet everyone. Bye!
Wait, Estella! She's not as anti-social as she seems. She just needs to make some friends.
You say that like I'm not around....Anyway, I'm Estella. I hope to meet some new people, and make some new friends. By the way if we're still talking about the whole muffin cupcake thing... I like muffins better than cupcakes!!
(March 3, 2017 - 3:40 pm)
WE'RE HEEEEEERE!
Again.
THEY FORGOT ABOUT US!
We were ignoring them.
NO, THEY WERE IGNORING US!
Dev, Hobbes, Critic, and Mandy replied to us. We didn't reply back. We're at fault.
NO WE AREN'T!
. . . OH YEEEEEEAH. WE ARE.
HEYHEY MANDY! WATCH! I'LL HIT THAT VASE BEFORE YOU NO PROBLEM!
*blasts five brussels sprouts in a row*
*they ricochet and hit Niccoli and DJ in the head*
IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS!
I'd rather talk to my friends. This is, after all, a chat thread, not a war zone.
*steals cupcake from Wordsy*
Critic, I have a total horror story to tell you. Wildflower, you might get something out of this too. St.Owl's ELA teacher was using "Full Fathom Five" to teach onomatopoeia, and she defined thy as my. Please join me in my outrage.
BOOOOOOORING! LOOK, LOOK, I CAN SHOOT BRUSSELS SPROUTS! ISN'T THAT MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY?!
*imbeds a brussels sprout in one of Wordsy's cupcakes*
Well, when you get eaten alive, I'll be laughing while having a polite, not at all dangerous chat with my friends. Isn't that right?
BAH HUMBUG!
(March 3, 2017 - 5:02 pm)
Hi, I know you weren't talking to me but GAH DOES THAT TEACHER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WEIRD (OH GOSH I CAN'T SPELL) MIDEVAL... MEDIEVAL... I GIVE UP!
Dictionary, please!
[Grabs enormous dictionary]
MEDIEVAL! I was right!
Let me repeat that:
GAH! Does that teacher know anything about the (well it's actually not medieval, I just wasted a lot of time, let's start over again.)
GAH! Does that teacher know anything about the language of the yeomen? "Thy" is "your," like, "Set down thy sword."
OBVIOUSLY!
Applejaguar's Spanish teacher said yesterday, "I may have miscalculated wrong." That is redundant, and I'm pretty sure it's a double negative, because if you miscalculate right, you mess up. To miscalculate wrong would be to calculate correctly. Right?
(Wow that was a long post that said almost nothing.)
(March 4, 2017 - 8:37 am)
Well, you wouldn't say "miscalculate right," because then you're pureposefully miscalculating. All you'd say is "I miscalculated." If you say "I miscalculated wrong," it implies you were trying to miscalculate but failed at it.
But yes, that's correct! Thy and thou, et cetera, are early modern English (which the ELA teacher also got wrong, identifying it as Old English, which is a completely different language.)
Thank you for joining me in my outrage.
(March 4, 2017 - 12:49 pm)