Daisy... First of all, hugs. Giant, big hugs with coffee and Taylor Swift and books. Now... May I just get a couple things straight? Under no circumstances, ever, must you pretend in front of us to be someone you are not. WE love you, both your old self and your new self. ANd also, you're no different, really. You're just Daisy, the same Daisy we've always loved and the same Daisy we continue to love. You are NOT a terrible person, and please never call yourself that. If you try, stop yourself, and say, "No, I am not. I am a good person, a sweet person, a darling person, and I know that." Everyone goes through ups and downs, and though life may seem horrible right now, there *is* a light at the end of the tunnel, there is a purpose to all this. "You can not reach the dawn save by a path of night," as someone or the other once said. Remember that you are valued and people care about you. Sometimes, it feels like our friends just don't care what we do, I've definetly been there. But I've learned that they do care, only they express that caring in a different way. Also, don't be afraid to apologise, whether to yourself or to others. Don't be afraid to admit, yes, I think this, but perhaps there may be a different way of thinking about it. And don't forget that, no matter what, you *are* loved. 

I'm sorry, that probably wasn't helpful at all. But I hope it gave you something nonetheless. *hugs*

~Booksy 

Top for Daisy

Empathetic yet completely helpless top

Aww, Daisy! *hugs*

I actually do know how you feel. Except I have been the one leaving my friends. See, I move a lot, and the longest I've ever been at one school is two and a half years. Whenever I finally start feeling like I'm getting used to a place and start opening up from my usual quiet self, I get shoved away to a different school and I have to start over again. Every time I move I get these long periods of feeling like I don't have any friends, and it is really depressing. At the end of the year I'm going to have to leave my school again after only two years there, to go to high school. And my friends are everything this year. I love them so much. I don't know if there's anything I can do to make it get better, but just know that eventually you are going to get past it, and things are going to be fine.

I hope you feel better. 

~The Riddler

What Booksy said is exactly what I believe. You are you, no need to hide who you are. If "friends" leave you, then they never deserved to be friends with someone as wonderful as you are in the first place. I understand the feeling of annoyance, anger, and everything you described. Trust me, I feel the same way sometimes. The best thing you can do is either talk to your parents, talk to your friends and apologize, and/or simply do a bit of soul-searching. Try to discover what exactly is making you so angry, beyond the person itself. Maybe it is an event that happened recently for you. Maybe someone's actions remind you of another action that hurt you long ago. It's kinda like deja vu you know? Just without you knowing it. There are times where I'll get mad at someone, then I realize the only reason I got mad is because something similar happened in the past with a bad result.

Do those three things, and always remember you can turn to us for help. You are not some terrible, mean person. Nor selfish. We all have our moments where we need help, and you did the right thing by coming to us. I hope we have helped you, now the best thing is to leave your future in your hands. Only you can change things, and I know you can do it. Good luck, Daisy, you have our support! 

It isn't a bad thing to tell us how you feel.  You deserve to be able to do that, at least.  Sometimes you need to pity yourself.  I know I do.  And this post won't make anyone like you less.  You are the same person.  You're just showing everyone different sides, and different layers of yourself.  I'm sure that everyone wants to see every side of you.  I really think that you should talk to your parents.  I have a family member who has had serious problems with depression.  They got help, and now they are doing a lot better.  You aren't a terrible person.  Depression is NOT your fault.  I hope that you start to talk to someone in your life about it and feel better.  Know that you will always have support here on the CB.

Hello Daisy. I don't know if you remember me... I found this thread about depression that might help you. 

I hope this doesn't seem rude for this sad thread but, say hi to Cho for me. 

I've been feeling pretty similar. Something I like to do is think of something that's wrong with me, and then decide on something I can do about. Like recently I realized that I hate the way I talk about this kid in my class, so I've decided to try not to talk about them at all. That way people won't think I'm a silly person who never means what they say (oops, more self-pity, sorry).

Like Booksy said, though, you're no different. We all still love you and maybe your change is less drastic than you think. 

There is no way you are a terrible person. Everyone else does the same things wrong. It's just good that you notice it while many others don't notice it in themselves. I used to worry that I don't work hard, until I realized that by my definition no one works hard. So maybe your situation is like that. 

Also, don't feel bad that we love you. You totally deserve our love and kind words. 

^^ Look at all those people who love you!

Dear Daisy:

I call myself Brown Bear around here. I don't know you, but oftentimes I feel like a terrible person too. I have a tendency to live in a constant pity party. I am afraid - terrified - most of the time.

But I've learned a little.

Those thoughts that say awful things - that's not you. It's Satan, or your demons, or whatever you want to call it. I believe we have to fight against the darkness inside of us, so that one day it won't have power over us. It's not easy, but if I can do it then you can too.

One thing that makes me feel better is music. I made a collection of songs for you if you're interested. (None of them swear or anything like that, in case that bothers you.) It's a mishmash and I don't know if they will be the genre you like, but I have found the lyrics to be meaningful and true. Here they are:

Songs That Give Me Hope:

Secret for the Mad, by Dodie Clark

I Am Not A Robot, by Marina and the Diamonds 

One More Time With Feeling, by Regina Spektor 

Kitchen Sink, by Twenty One Pilots (a bit intense)

Welcome to the Black Parade, My Chemical Romance (a bit more intense) 

Holes, by Layla

Songs That Brighten My Mood:

Duet With Myself, by Charlie McDonnell

Lollipop, by MIKA

Rugs from Me to You, by Owl City

Do You Love Me, by the Contours 

You're Alright, by Bry 

Nothing's Wrong, by Echosmith

I hope the best for you.

Brown Bear 

Daisy, having depression is hard. I know how you feel. Honestly, I am doing some of the same things you are. A lot of friendships I've had for the longest time, are ending because of this. My relationship with my parents is actually struggling because of my anger and impatience. The biggest tip I really have for you is to not hide it. Tell someone you know about this. There are many depression medications that might be able to help you. It might be a good idea to see a therapist too. I've had to go a few different therapists before, and they are always very sweet and ready to help, no matter where I go. The one thing you CAN NOT do is keep this a secret. It will ONLY GET WORSE. 

Also, I have a few tips I use when I am annoyed at someone. Try doing the breathing square. You breathe in for four seconds, hold it in for four seconds, exhale for four seconds and do it four times. It also helps if you "take breaks." Let the person that is annoyng you know about the situation, and leave them for a few minutes to gather yourself together. Carrying a stress toy is a good idea. You can also think of a signal. Example: If your friend thinks you are starting to get a little too worked up, they can tug on their earlobe to signal you ae getting too aggresive. You can also come up with a different signal when THEY are starting to get too rough. 

One of the things I have done is I have made an "emotions box." Whenever I haven a certain thought, I put it in its corresponding bottle. I have five bottles for emotions. One for anger, another for fear, disgust, sadness, and joy. Whenever I feel too overwhelmed, I pull out the Joy note and read it, then replace it with a new one ASAP. When I get over something inside the other jars, I either throw away the paper, or stick it in the "Bad Feelings Jar." Any throughts I have about depression, I just throw in the box and forget. After a while, you can show the box to your parents, if they aren't taking your depression seriously. That might give them a little push that they need to help you get better.

I hope these are good tips. Remember Daisy, even if you feel alone, or if you feel like nobody likes you, there is always someone out there who cares for you. You don't need to worry about that, you need to worry about getting yourself out of this valley, with a lot of help of course.

Good luck! Depression may stick around with you for a while, but it WILL go away eventually, just remember that. Nothing human ever lasts forever. That means depression doesn't stand a chance.

P.S. Now, if you have a God/god, pray to him/her. I am a very religious person, so praying does help me. If not, I'm not going to ask you to pray to my God, but I am going to ask you to start talking to someone invisible. Maybe a passed family member, or just yourself, but I've always noticed that talking to my God (or that missed family member) helps tremendously, because they are all ears, and will not judge you. Please do try it, even though it may feel strange. Do it often as well.

if it helps any im still here. i will always be here. dont worry, you'll make it. i understand the pain, and im sorry for all that i put you through. this is probably partly my fault. im so sorry.