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St.Owl shoved her
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
St.Owl shoved her
St.Owl shoved her bare feet into the ashes of the CB. Around her, fire was still flickering, spreading destruction, but other CBers were running forward with pails of water to douse it, and others still were building up the things that had been burned down, already repairing their broken world.
But St. wasn't ready for that yet.
Not quite.
Tomorrow promised the appearance of a thread that could cause the fire to burn up again.
Or go out.
Or stay the way it was.
There was no way to tell until it happened.
She lifted her head to look at the dark sky, stretching her wings, wishing for the support of Feather right then. But her AEs weren't involved in this anymore. They had decided where they stood. And they weren't about to fight. Or, not the way she was.
St.Owl moved. Slowly at first, then faster, towards the one building still standing. It would always be standing, no matter what fires engulfed it; it was History. Photographs lined the walls, from the very first CBers, to when she had first come on, still a formless child, grinning in the back awkwardly. There was a picture of all the AEs, Dev looking at Puck worriedly, Feather arm in arm with Hobbes.
But there weren't only happy memories.
On the other wall was a collection of posts. Posts that stung the heart and the mind, posts that St.Owl couldn't bear to look at. The AE war. The Nostalgia War. The Impersonator War. The Second AE War. The Hamilton War. And now this. What should it be called? The Diversity War?
Abigail's Soapbox had been left out, dented and bent. This was the first time St.Owl had ever touched it, and she picked it up now, brushing off the dust, straightening it. Then she stepped back out, into her war-ridden world, and made her speech.
This was how it went.
"I think this will be my last full monolague. I will most likely make shorter comments, but I want this to be a final, full declaration of my thoughts on this war.
"I'm rarely this involved. In most of the other wars, I've had a 'side,' but I didn't declare it so openly. I was more like the one to make long posts telling people to stop, just stop, figure out something to do and do it. Diplomatically. Don't leave, don't hurt each other.
"It's a personal resonance. In real life I am always this involved. I have strong opinions and I stick by them. I get offended easily. I get hurt. I try not to do that here. But I think I finally lost control.
"The problem is, my family is very involved in the LGBT+ community. One of my mother's best friends is gay and happily married-- he's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Another couple we know are lesbian, and they only recently got officially married. I was so happy for them.
"I knew there was controversy over the subject, but I didn't know it ran this deep. Some of the things I saw on this website were merely a perspective I wasn't used to. They're just opinions-- really, there's no right and wrong.
"That being said, I do want to talk a little bit, particularly to a few people. Those who are 'protesting.' Let me specify-- I did not put that in quotes to mock you. I put that in quotes because I personally do not believe it was a 'proper' (notice I put that in quotes too-- it's all in opinion) way to protest. Let me explain why.
"Firstly, I've tried to say this before, but I said it more bluntly and rudely. That's because my emotions were running high and I was upset. I'm still upset, but calm, and I feel I can present this rationally and appropriately.
"To Party Number One-- those who have left because of their religion or other beliefs. I am not shaming you for your practices. If you are comfortable and happy with them, then I am happy, and all is well. However, a few persons in this party have gone a bit, say, off of my belief of what is 'right.' (opinion. Opinion.) You see, some people have given a message that they would stay if discussion of LGBT+ people was limited or restricted. This seems innocent upon reading it, but think further. You see, this has made certain people 'on the fence' when otherwise they would have a set opinion. It manipulates people. They don't want to lose you, but they also support the movement. What are they supposed to do?
"It wasn't on purpose. I'm certain it wasn't. And you know what? I think some of you were actually doing it for the good of the CB. But the problem is-- I hate to state the obvious-- not everyone follows your set of rules. Not everyone believes that being LGBT+ is a sin. And plenty of people who are hesitant about the discussion in the CB are hesitant simply because you'd leave if they weren't.
"But it's not only you that's the problem. There's a Party Number Two as well. That mostly consists of one person, but I do not want to name anyone besides myself in this speech, so I will not point fingers.
"Party Number Two is the opposite. While Party Number One will leave if diversity is granted, Party Number Two will leave if diversity isn't. And this is really just as bad. There are people who believe that being LGBT+ is a sin. These people, too, are on the fence because they don't want you to leave.
"So we've got two parties. We've got the on the fence people. We've got the people who have strong opinions but are not leaving.
"In the end, that's what I wanted to say. Both Party One and Party Two are in the wrong. To manipulate people like this, even accidentally, is wrong. If you have an opinion, stick to it, but please don't put it on other people too. In all honesty, I think this is what started the war.
"I have other things to say. Things about religion and belief and LGBT+. But I won't say it. For one thing, I think I wouldn't be able to say it correctly, and it would end up being rude or offensive. For another, Mei-xue will have her thread up on Monday, which says it anyway, if the Admins allow it.
"Lastly, I'd like to say one thing. This is from someone else I confided in when I was hurt and upset, one who is Christian himself. He says that Jesus says not to hurt others, and to love sinners. If LGBT+ people are sinners, then why talk like this about them?
"Thank you for your time."
St.Owl got off the soapbox and exhaled, releasing her nerves. Please tell me I did it right this time. Please tell me it will show up. Please, please, please.
She replaced the soapbox inside its glass case until the next time it would be needed. Then she stepped out into the air again. The fire around her was spluttering, beginning to go out.
Let this be said before the end.
submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(December 18, 2016 - 3:44 pm)
(December 18, 2016 - 3:44 pm)
(December 20, 2016 - 5:24 pm)
Admins, thank you so much for posting this! It means a lot.
Top!
(December 20, 2016 - 7:30 pm)
L O U D E R F O R T H E P E O P L E I N T H E B A C K !
Thank you St. Owl! For the reality check. For everything in this post!
Myself I felt a few times I would leave this community because I didn't want to be a part of it if it wasn't as accepting, but the Shifting and Volcano parts of me were yelling "NO YOU CANNOT LEAVE THINGS LIKE THIS" and saved me from that trap. So thanks for the reality check, St.!
(December 20, 2016 - 8:29 pm)
Are you trying to create controversy? Because I think it sounds like you do. I wasn't manipulating. I only stay in places with diversity, not censorship. In my opinion, everbody has sorted out the problem in the most efficient and safe way.
(December 20, 2016 - 8:49 pm)
Gared, to my understanding, St. was not trying to create a controversy. Although I do see where this would seem the case. Please do understand St. Owl, like many other CBers, is trying to just clear up the issue. And yes, the problem has been sorted out among us because we all work together so well. I am glad to see the issue has dispersed so quickly.
(December 20, 2016 - 11:40 pm)
As I said, I don't believe you were manipulating purposefully. But it could be described as such.
Ashlee was correct in what she said.
(December 21, 2016 - 11:59 am)
St, amazing work on this! I agree completely, and for those taking a religious standpoint, your finishing part was perfect.
(December 20, 2016 - 9:53 pm)
*claps*
I'd write something longer but you've said anything there is to say.
<3
(December 20, 2016 - 11:00 pm)
Upon St Owl's conclusion, Scylla leapt immediately from the crowd. "What in hagsmire is wrong with you?" she burst out angrily. "I think this is taking it a little too far. The CB is most certainly not burning in flames even though about—" She paused, gaze raking the CBers—"Twenty-one percent of the population abandoned it."
She drew in a deep breath. "You think there are only two misguided parties, but you are wrong. There is a third and they are all misguided." She lowered her voice a little, certain she had the crowd's attention.
"I am that third party, along with many of us. I take no side. This issue, whatever the outcome, does not affect me. I refuse to let it affect me. I will not hang my head and cry tears of presumably ungenuine grief because about nine people left. Neither do I expect you to stop.
"I think everyone is making a huge deal about something that isn't really a big deal. I think that we, as people, should coexist peacefully here. I think a lot of things. Not all of them are true. They're just... thoughts."
Scylla's gaze once more surveyed the CBers, but she was calm this time. She was certain in her thoughts, her mind. She was genuinely convinced that she could fix this.
"I think we can leave this behind us. I think we can stay as we are, live as we are, write and create art as we are doing and will continue to do for as long as we can. We are artists, every single one of us. We will persevere. We will get past this—not necessarily forget, but move on. I know we can.
"Also," she added after a pause, "why does it seem as though all of our disputes are over AEs?" She laughed slightly, only as much as she could allow, only to lighten the mood. "Are they really worth all this?" Her tone grew serious once more. "I felt the danger this time. People were dropping like flies, if you will. I kept a mental list of casualties. Seriously.
"I have a lot to say. I don't expect to say it all right now, or ever. I don't even expect you to listen to me. You don't need to. We have this thing called free will. You should never let anyone or anything stop you from doing what's right," she said quietly, but her voice carried interminable strength. "Even if it means leaving me—leaving us. Leaving the community.
"Let's move on from this. Come on, Christmas is in four days! Embrace the holiday spirit. There's no time for burning in flames right now!" She smiled. "Thank you, thank you, wonderful you."
And she retook her place among the crowd, as one of them. As part of a community, a community of artists.
As part of the Chatterbox.
(December 20, 2016 - 11:05 pm)
One: in my personal opinion, the CB really was bursting into flames. It's the flames of passion and anger that so many people were feeling. But as they die off-- like mine did after this speech-- everything turns to ash, neutral, and people start rebuilding. It's a metaphor.
Two: "Not really a huge deal?" Scylla, I hate to argue with you, but are you serious? There are people undergoing conversion therapy because of this issue. It really is a huge deal.
But I agree that we should move on. I just wanted to get this said before the end.
(December 21, 2016 - 12:03 pm)
What I meant is that it shouldn't be such a huge deal on the Chatterbox. It's not worth it. At least to me. To me, it's just completely normal. I know most of you, at least those who have been actively involve in this issue, think differently. I know you all feel strongly about it and it's really messing up a lot of things here. Friendships, stories, opinions... Is it worth all this? Is it worth all the Chatterbox really is?
(December 21, 2016 - 4:19 pm)
One: in my personal opinion, the CB really was bursting into flames. It's the flames of passion and anger that so many people were feeling. But as they die off-- like mine did after this speech-- everything turns to ash, neutral, and people start rebuilding. It's a metaphor.
Two: "Not really a huge deal?" Scylla, I hate to argue with you, but are you serious? There are people undergoing conversion therapy because of this issue. It really is a huge deal.
But I agree that we should move on. I just wanted to get this said before the end.
(December 21, 2016 - 12:03 pm)
Thank you, Saint. I agree with you completely--except on one thing, which Scylla stated. Can we stop saying things like "ashes of the CB" and remains of happiness and ruins of the CB? Because that isn't true.
At my school, the LGBT+ community is well, normal. It's a part of life, everyone is cool with it, and it's just so normal. Normal to ship gay characters (half my OTPs are gay), normal to read books with LGBT+ people, normal to joke around about it, just...normal. I don't know how else to say it. And at the musical theater academy? Still normal. Honestly I think it would be extremely difficult to be in musical theater and not support it because the Broadway community is probably the most accepting community. One of my best friends came out as bisexual a few weeks ago, and can I be perfectly honest here: it had and still has no effect on me. She just threw it out there one day, and I was like "Okay," and it was fine.
So what's been happening...it's a completely new experience. I guess it's better to experience it here on the relatively sheltered CB as opposed to anywhere else. I mean, one knows that not everyone supports LGBT, but it seems like, well, a distant thing, you know? So,etching you know exists, something that feels so foreign and unreal...then suddenly it becomes real, too real, and it's surprising how deep it is. It was a slap in the face, shocking, and very upsetting.
But I'm over it now. People have left, yes, and that's sad, but we're moving on. People are making new threads. The war is over. This is the Reconstruction. We are already healing. We will heal.
(December 21, 2016 - 12:37 am)
Inktail stood up from the back of the crowd.
"That is whom you forgot, Scylla. There is a very small fourth party, myself included, who simply stay off the threads and refuse to get involed. A few of us may put up peace threads, but we stay uninvovled." A single tear drizzled down the girls cheek.
"Although, we may be blissfully unaware of the issue, we are painfully aware of the CBers leaving. And this is where the fourth group differs from the third-we are painfully affected by the leavings."
Inktail's voice became choked sounding, as though these words were hard to say as all eyes stared at her. "I...I can't describe how much it hurts me. I haven't been on long, only since Febuaray. But already, you feels like my family. All of you. When someone leaves..."
"I can't describe how I feel inside then." Tears filled the young girl's eyes. "I'm not even a teenager. This is very hard for me. You guys...are pretty much my only friends."
No one spoke. No one even moved. The room was silent. Inktail's voice came out icy cold. "Think about it, will you?" Her speech ended on a note of sorrow, and the heavy door closed behind her as the girl exited the room sadly.
(December 21, 2016 - 1:38 am)