Hello, earthling. I

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Hello, earthling. I

Hello, earthling. I am A-Peg 684 from the planet Pluto. I live in the bustling metropolis of       /:$&@?(!#%**+                                                                                                                   Sorry, there is no English translation. Buildings are very tall, and homes are oval domes on Pluto's surface.

This is the base of a story idea I've had for a while, but I haven't done anything with it yet. It's the journal of two pen pals from Earth and Pluto. The journal is sent back and forth through SPS, Space Postal Services. If you have any suggestions for me, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE with whipped cream, a cherry, and sprinkles on top comment them below. Also tell me if I should write this story down.

Well, that's all! Bye! ;) 

submitted by Amelia R., age 12, Wisconsin
(August 28, 2016 - 10:53 pm)

Okay, since no one has jumped in here yet, I will...  

I will start off with your last question because it seems simple enough to answer.  If you mean should you write this story down as you create it, yes or else you will definitely forget it. If you mean should you give us more of the story because you do have it, again, yes.  The more of the story you share, the more specific any feedback can be. Even if what you have is just a more detailed plan of the story rather than the story itself, share it. The more information the better.

Name of the city on Pluto: I would change this to something else because jumbled symbols like those are already associated with coarse language in our society. So unless you intended your readers to think of the city's inhabitants as crude beings that spit out obscenities, albeit in their language, I would find a more suitable name for the city because some of your readers might make that association. I understand wanting
the name of the city to sound foreign, but a simple but different combination of sounds that are not common in our language can be just as effective (e.g. Qtar or Razu). Plus, I think your readers are more likely to wrap their minds around the city if they can wrap their tongues around its name first. -- Okay, I'm not very good at creating names but maybe other CBers can help you out in this area.

Journals as vehicles to tell the story: This can be a really interesting way to tell a story. And the fact that the two people are literally and  figuratively worlds apart can add another layer of meaning to the main one or be the main one. In any case, it can provide opportunities for misinterpretation along the way as some things get lost in the translation as they sometimes do when translating any language to another. Think of things that exist in one world but don't exist in the other, or idioms (e.g. "I cried my eyes out.") or figures of speech (e.g. "needle in a haystack"). Now these instances of misinterpretation can inject humor into a scene or they can sort of pave the way for an
unfortunate and important incident to occur later down the road. Or if you would rather not deal with misinterpretations you can just build into the story a device that takes into consideration idioms and figures of speech and translates them to their equivalent in the other language.

Point of View: This is probably one of the biggest decision you have to make when deciding to tell a story. Unfortunately, without knowing more of the story, I really can't give you much advice.

Lastly, perhaps it would help you to plan your story if you saw it in terms of something closer to home? The distance between Pluto and Earth is vast, just as vast maybe as the social distance between two cultures here on Earth? -- Okay going to stop here.  Hope some of the above helps. Maybe some other
CBer who has already written something similar can jump in and give you more advice.

submitted by River, age Forever, flowing yonder
(August 30, 2016 - 8:22 am)

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submitted by Top, age Top, Top
(August 30, 2016 - 1:46 pm)