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Yes, advice...
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Yes, advice...
Yes, advice...
Um, thanks Cayke for, you know, giving me this idea. I never even considered presenting the problem I have to my CBer friends!
Anyway, I have this friend I've had since Pre-K. We're BFFs, if you know what I mean. But I don't want to be BFFs anymore. It's just... she isn't the best person alive, you know? She subtly displays things that are actually quite troublesome:
1. Peer pressure. She usually convinces my other friend (we're a group of three) to give her part of her lunch, including her favorite part (in other words, the Doritoes she was saving as a snack for afterschool). Plus, she's very sensitive. I mean, if I want to sit with other friends at lunch! One time, she got super angry when she wanted to move tables but I didn't and then she got angry when I didn't move tables with her. And she got annoyed when I walked to school with another friend of mine instead of her.
2. She does things that shouldn't really be done. For example, she said she wanted to knock over a snowman (that was actually pretty good, but that's beside the point). Also, she likes to throw ice on the way to school.
3. She's violent. Last year especially she was hurting us a lot. Like when I was reciting this thing I like to recite and it got on her nerves.
4. My other friends don't like her. I mean, if you haven't made a bond with her she's not easy to like, you know?
Okay. Yes. And here's the problem: I don't know how to break it to her without hurting her feelings. I mean, sure, she's all that, but she's also nice, and friendly. And she's good at the heart. And the thing is, I still want to be friends, just not best friends. Like I said, though, I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Okay! I know that's a lot of stuff! But I've asked a few people, and they don't really seem to understand. I was hoping that you guys would have some sort of idea.
Thank you!!!!!
submitted by St.Owl, age 10
(February 24, 2015 - 7:42 pm)
(February 24, 2015 - 7:42 pm)
St. Owl,
You could not break it to her, and just start spending time with other friends.
Or you could gently explain to her what you don't like about her behavior.
To be honest, I've never gone through this - because as soon as I started not liking my best friend's behavior, she dumped me. And that really, really hurt. A lot. Because I still wanted to be friends. I was just a little older than you, then.
I'd suggest that you start spending time with others. Remember that you're at an age where you and your friends are going to be changing in all sorts of ways, and I'll think you'll find that some of your friends aren't as nice as they used to be.
I hope someone else can help, too. You might try asking your parents, too.
Best of luck!
(February 24, 2015 - 8:48 pm)
(February 24, 2015 - 11:25 pm)
That happened to me, too. My best friend moved away in third grade, and we had known each other since kindergarten. I had no idea what do do, so I sat at the most isolated table, which I still do. Soon, my friend started sitting there, but recently she started saying really racist things, like, "Indians are smarter than you. ALl Americas are stupid."
"The Chinese have the smartest people. Indians are second. Americans aren't on the list because they are not smart."
Unfortunately, I never got up the courage to tell her it was offensive. But she still says the things. And our friendship has grown apart.
(February 25, 2015 - 6:21 am)
Oh that problem, I know how you felt, I had a friend from when I was 2 to when I was , well two friends actually from church, one moved away and then my best friend made another friend that I really didn't like, that friend of a friend associated with people that had bullied me for years. My BFF started hanging out more and more with these girls and I started to get more and more annoyed, finally my family just didn't end up going to that church anymore, not because of me though. I just saw hewr again after a long time, it was weird, I don't even think she remembers we argued. I don't know how to say this but maybe you should just explain that you don't want to argue but that you want the freedom to hang out with other people too. And this is what the CB is about and what I liked about the old CB.
(February 26, 2015 - 3:38 pm)