Places to Chat
Hey all.
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Hey all.
Hey all.
It’s Periwinkle. Haven’t been online for real in a minute. But I’ve been keeping up with everything on the CB. And some of the stuff this year, especially more recent things, have been upsetting me. I’ve decided it’s time to say something. I know others feel the same too.
I joined the Chatterbox almost four years ago. This place was always about kindness and inclusivity. About lifting each other up. Tell me — is it still about that? And how so? How have you been lifting each other up? How have you been prioritizing kindness? How have you been protecting your friendship?
In recent conversations, people have been hurt. It’s been stated outwardly. But instead of trying to make it better, you encouraged these people to “move on.” Miscommunication is possible. Accidentally hurting someone’s feelings is possible. But you need to apologize when that happens, even if you still think you’re right, and try to see where the other person is coming from. “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”
The Chatterbox has always been a sort of oasis for all of us young people who feel we don’t fit in. It’s hard to “find your people,” but a lot of CBers feel they’ve found that here. We embrace the strange and the unusual and the creative. There shouldn’t be people we DON’T embrace. Everything you post is being read by other real kids just like you somewhere else in the world. I feel like we forgot that.
Where do we draw the line? When you hurt someone’s feelings, you apologize. Don’t make them feel smaller. We are all living complete, complex lives, and to put it simply, life is hard. Don’t be a bad part of someone else’s.
People always ask “what are you thankful for?” But I want you to ask yourself what you want OTHER people to be able to THANK YOU for. What do you want people to say about you when you leave this place? That you were kind? Inclusive? Patient? Welcoming? That you were a friend to everyone? That you loved people because of who they were and not in spite of it? That’s what I would want. I’ll leave you to decide it for yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I love you, but I’m disappointed.
Yours,
Peri
(Admin: sorry to make such a long post on a holiday. I don’t expect this to be posted quickly and don’t plan to make any other posts today. Although I can see why you may hesitate to post it, please consider it; I only want to help people be kinder. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving)
We never mean to post hurtful comments. Please send a details as a reply comment of the hurtful comment, and I'll have another look. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
Admin
submitted by Periwinkle, age 14, Somewhere in the stars
(November 28, 2024 - 5:43 pm)
(November 28, 2024 - 5:43 pm)
Thank you, Peri. If I may add my own two cents: Assuming that's one of the things you're talking about, I've been following along with the discussion on CaC too, and I know no one had bad intentions, but it's clear that a lot of people---and maybe not just the people whose names you see---got hurt. I think that it's really important to realize that what you're saying can have a big impact on someone else's life, no matter your intent---and this isn't targeted to anyone specifically, btw; just in general (and this goes for everything I say here; please remember that). Your comment might be just a comment to you, but it can be so much more to someone else (which is valid, btw).
Somebody here---I don't remember who---once said on here that there's a reason there's a preview button. So you can look over your comment before you post it. So you can try to see your comment from someone else's point of view, and try to understand if your comment will hurt someone, even if your intent is good. So you can decide whether or not posting your comment the way it is, even if it could hurt someone, is really that important.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't express our opinions. I'm saying that we should think with kindness before we do that. Which means understanding that people come from different places, and that different things can hit differently for different people.
I wanted to say---maybe a bit belatedly, sorry---that, whoever you are, if you're one of the people who took part in this discussion, if you're someone who was hurt by something said, if you're someone who is reading this: your feelings are valid, and you are valid. Opinions are subjective, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions---of course, that doesn't mean that other people can't disagree with our opinions, and that doesn't mean our opinions can't grow and change, and that doesn't mean that our opinions can't be hurtful (even if we think/know they're right, they can still be hurtful). But no one can argue that what you feel isn't true. People can disagree with your feelings, but that doesn't change anything. Your feelings are valid, and I don't think that was made clear enough in this discussion. Your feelings are valid. You are valid.
I do feel like there's more stuff I should say, but I can't find the way to say it right now. I also feel like I really didn't say a lot of the stuff I was trying to say here right, but lizards, it's late and I'm tired and honestly, I'm really sorry, but my brain isn't really forming complete thoughts right now haha... also I'm just a kid. We are all. Even adults---we're all still learning.
Thank you @admins for reviewing all these really long comments during the holidays. Sorry, I know you said that you all aren't going to post any more long comments, and this is a long comment. I hope that you post it, but... well, yeah :) I won't be mad if you don't. I feel like this could all be written better anyways. Hope you all have a happy holidays!
But also, before I go, seconding what Bobcat said: you didn't do anything wrong, btw, @Rainbow. <3 You're amazing, seriously. I look up to you a lot. <3 Actually, I look up to basically everyone here a lot lol. Which is a great segue! Because you lizards are amazing, honestly, every single one of you.
*hugs if you want them* to everyone.
Well said, CBB, thank you! Your comment is long, but it reads easily and is clearly understandable. Plus it's Friday morning now, after a good night's sleep!
Admin
(November 29, 2024 - 3:54 am)
(November 29, 2024 - 11:19 am)
top
(November 29, 2024 - 10:27 am)
Thanks for this, Peri (and Celine). it was really thoughtful and well-worded, and I think people need to hear it. I haven't been participating in the CaC debate but I've been following along and some of it really hurt. also seconding the use of the preview button: maybe a little more care before you post could do everyone a world of good. everyone's valid, let's try not to forget that.
regardless, happy holidays, everyone!
(November 29, 2024 - 3:54 pm)
Thanks for bringing this up, Peri <3 Yeah, I think the CaC discussion could maybe have been a bit less aggressive in parts. (On the other hand, I'm kind of glad that the CB is still a place where all sorts of different viewpoints can be discussed openly and we can listen to other people's ideas about life and society...) I'm not going to mention specific comments, but elsewhere on the CB I have also seen some CBers not being very considerate about other people's feelings. A large part of it might be down to the difficulty of communicating in writing instead of having face-to-face discussions, so I would recommend really thinking about what we post and also taking the time to think about how a post was actually intended. Even if your feelings are hurt by a comment, the poster of the comment probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and the comment might not even mean what you think it means. Not that this is meant to invalidate anyone who's feeling hurt, just something else to keep in mind <3
And if you make a mistake, that's also all right! Just don't be afraid to learn from it :)
(November 29, 2024 - 8:06 pm)
Thanks Peri for bringing that up! Just wanted to second everything in this thread that has been said so far, and to remember to be kind!
(November 30, 2024 - 1:51 am)