I'm really sorry that life is ew rn for you... is there anything I can do to help, if you want? Sending love and hugs if you want them <33 Also, on an unrelated note, I keep forgetting to ask you but I was wondering if you saw Bobcat's reply to you a while ago on the LGBTQ+ Pride thread? It's on page 28, and is basically about identifying as panpronominal, which is using all pronouns, which I think you were asking about a while back (like you were asking if there's any term that means "all pronouns" I think...); BB explains it better than I do (of course), so here's the whole (I think) reply:

"Also @parodies, nonbinary doesn't inherently mean neutral, and trans doesn't inherently mean you're not the gender you were assigned at birth - you can be multiple genders, and one can be what you were assigned at birth. also gender can fluctate and change, and that in itself can be nonbinary. but really, don't worry too much about it? You don't have to stress about finding a label. And you can always just be questioning! also you said pangender means any pronouns - that would be panpronominal or using all pronouns. Pangender means that you identify with all genders (except for culturally exclusive ones or such), more or less. Gender and pronouns are seperate. I'm not saying you're not pangender ofc, just clearing that specific phrasing up in case it confuses someone. idk if this sounds harsh, it isn't meant to :D" 

you might have seen it, but it sorta got buried, so here it is again just in case you missed it :) and, like BB said, I'm not saying that you're not pangender if you do identify that way, just putting it out there that panpronominal is a thing, too :)