I have to admit it.

I'm a total bystander.

I see conflict, and I turn the other way. I see anon posters making people angry, and I ignore them. I see someone make a leaving thread, and I hardly say "goodbye" because I feel like I can't say anything else. 

I just think that if I close my eyes on conflict, it'll go away. If I can't see it, it can't see me. If I stay out of it, then I'm safe. Other people, people like Luminescence, can help work it out, and I can say thank you when they're done. 

But anyway, that was a rant. That's not the point of this thread. This is what I think about anonymous posting.

Only post anonymously when you are saying something about yourself. It's perfectly appropriate to anonymously post on the confessions thread, or when you are just having a rant about your personal life.

It is not, however, appropriate to anonymously post when you are talking about someone else. If you are trying to tell someone off for doing/saying something, anonymous posting is NOT the option. If you are ashamed of what you are saying about someone else, then don't post it anonymously!!!! Or just don't post it at all!!!!

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. If you are trying to inform someone or fact-check them, PLEASE do it in a kind manner and not anonymously. The anonymity will make the person feel even worse, and even if you think it makes you feel better.

Anyway I think that's about it. I don't know if any of this comment made sense. But I hope you guys understand. 

Tootle-loo everyone. Please remember that if you don't have a kind thing to say, then don't say anything at all.

Thank you for making this thread, Lumi, and thank you to everyone who left kind comments on several of the other threads going around right now.

I'd like to throw in my own two cents.

Let’s imagine Future Us looking back at this mess, just as Current Us look back on the previous CB “wars.” Let’s imagine Future Us thinking, “oh, if only they’d just done that, they could have sorted out the whole mess.” What would Future Us want us to do?

I think before any of us make a post, any post, we need to think it through. Ask ourselves:

Why am I making this post? Do I want to make someone feel bad? Am I just posting because I feel like someone has to? Am I upset for a reason unrelated to the CB, and it’s coming out here?

What purpose will this serve? Will it hurt someone’s feelings? Will it add to this mess? Will it just repeat what other people have been saying? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

Am I softening my post with phrases like “no offense” or “in the friendliest way” or “with all due respect?” This may be a sign that the post itself is kind of mean, and these phrases won’t actually do much to help.

In my opinion, though I don't wish to get into a debate about it, posting anonymously isn't inherently wrong. It can add hurt to a harmful post, yes, but the reasons why someone might legitimately want to post anonymously (and there are many) overlap with the reasons someone might want to for a bad reason. The line between when it’s okay and when it’s not mostly comes down to what the post itself says. So, if you feel the inclination to post anonymously, ask yourself why. Are you ashamed of what you're posting? Do you know, deep down, that it will be hurtful?

I think we all want to get ourselves out of this mess, keep it from getting any worse, and restore the CB to that wonderful place we all want it to be. We just don’t know how to get ourselves there. So let's all take a deep breath and just be a little more thoughtful about our posts.

I totally agree with Lumi, Mary, and Kitten. I think, if you want to tell someone something, just do it in your own name. Unless the other person is being downright cruel and disruptive (Which NO ONE on the CB is), just say it nicely. If it can't be said nicely and it's not neccasary, consider not saying it. If being helpful and kind is what you're truly doing, no need to post anonymously! 

I don't have time for a long rant, but I just hope that we can all calm down and make the CB the peaceful place it used to be (and still is, in many ways.) 

That was beautifully written, Lumi, thanks for that. 

In real life, I can be very awkward sometimes. I often blurt out things right before I realize that I shouldn't have said it. However, if I though over every single thing before I said it out loud, I would leave people wondering if I had even heard them. I love the CB because I can think of what I want to say before I say it. If I decide that I don't want to say something, I can delete it before posting it. Or edit or remove a comment on NaNo. If I think of something hurtful about somebody else, I delete it before I post it, before I blurt it out. And no damage is made. But people are starting to treat the CB as a way to post their mean thoughts about people anonymously. I think peppermint might have said it on another thread, but people are using anon. posts to post things that they would be to afraid to say otherwise. So here's what I think: If you think a post is too mean to post under your real name don't post it at all. If you are going to post it, post it with your real (CB) name, so that we can hold you accountable. I think anon. posts should be limited to confessions threads and things like ski lodges, RPs, and other things like the AE ball, where hosts go under aliases. 

TL;DR: If you think a comment is too mean to post under your real name, don't post it at all.

To be honest I'm confused.  Maybe it's because I'm not a super active CBer, or maybe it's because I don't read every thread, but... what is going on?  Why all this drama?

I feel bad for being ignorant and want to understand this and make things right.  But right now I'm very confused.

This is really well said Lumi. Here are some guidelines I wrote out. Anyone can add on to these if they'd like. :)

Before you post anonymously think:

"Is it really necessary to post this anonymously?"

"Will this hurt another CBer's feelings?"

"Would I be hurt if someone said this to me?"

"Am I posting this anonymously because it's a disrespectful comment?"

"Am I proud of what I am saying?"

First off, Lumi, this was beautiful. I can tell you have a way with words and care about what you're saying. <3 Thanks for being the peacemaker and putting up with us.

I agree with what other people have said. Anon. posts can be used in some situations but not others. If you're posting anon. because you don't know how what you're saying will be recieved, maybe sleep on it and/or think about if you would post this under your real (CB) name. But if you are doing it because it is personal information or a rant on the Confessions thread, it is fine to be anon. to avoid spilling personal info.