I also think I'm non-binary... yeah.

I don't have any advice since there isn't another enby person around for me to talk to... 

Hey, dont be embaressed! Wondering about who you are is totally fine! 
Maybe try to make sure your family isnt homophobic by bringing up the subject casually, like mentioning a LGBTQ+ actor or singer (Sam Smith for example- he's also Non-Binary if I remember correctly!) 
Try to accept who you are, think about it, just make sure you arent hurting yourself because of your gender. Maybe focus on the good parts, like you know that on Chatterbox we'll all accept you! Im always here to chat if you need anything, want to ask questions or stuff.

Once you know your family/friends are okay with LGBTQ+, maybe bake a cake and write 'Im Nonbinary' on it in icing, or decorate the house with nonbinary flags while their gone? I dunno, these are just some suggestions. If all else fails you could just say 'I know you love me and I have something to tell you. Im non-binary and I want you to respect that' or something. 

Sorry if none of this helps, Im not a very good people person *blushes*

And also sorry if your situation is different, I dont read minds so I dont know what it's like for you...

Hope some of this helps! <3

~Heroes 

I'm probably not the best person to give advice, but maybe you could try talking to a counselor? They're always there for you, and if your school has a counselor, you can try talking to them too. Best of luck <3 <3 <3

Don't feel embarrassed, it's okay to need help! I'm probably not the best person to give advice, since this isn't something I've really experienced, but I can do my best. It's hard when people don't listen, but if you find someone you can trust, maybe try telling them (only if it's safe for you). I know you said you tried telling someone and they brushed you off, but if you can find someone who does support you, hopefully that would help. Then you could ask them to use your pronouns and name if you have a new one. Other than that, there are some LGBTQ+ hotlines that you can find the numbers for online. I've never personally used one, but that might help if you need to talk things out. Above all, please be safe, and good luck! Remember there are people who love you no matter what. We're all here to support you!

Hi anonymous, 

I haven't personally experienced what you're going through but I know what it feels like to be confused about identity. Your feelings are totally real, normal, and valid. I'm not sure what else I know to say that hasn't already been said, but hang in there! <3

Hey, don't be embarrassed! Thanks for asking for advice! It sounds to me like you have a couple of concerns (correct me if I'm wrong at any point)-- you're not sure how to come out to people, you're hurt that someone didn't listen to you, and you're struggling with dysphoria.

As for coming out, I think it really varies on your situation. If you think your parents might be supportive, but you're not sure how to bring it up, what worked for me was just not making a big deal about it-- like, mention it in passing, or wait until your family is all together for another reason and just go for it. If you don't think your family will be supportive -- which it sounds like might be the case (but of course I don't know) -- you could try starting with someone who you think might be the most supportive, and seeing how they react.

It's horrible that the person you told brushed you off and didn't listen to you! It's totally okay if you don't want to come out to anyone for a bit (or anytime soon), but I hope other people will react better.

I don't have any specific advice on dealing with dysphoria, since I'm cis and don't know much about that, but if it's okay with you, I can reach out to my GSA friends and see if they have any tips/advice.

This is getting really long (sorry, Admins!), but I just want to end by saying that whatever happens, I support you, and I'm cheering you on! *hugs*

Hey, It's totally ok! <3 You should never be embarrassed. Struggling with your gender identity is totally normal and also supper stressful. I'm really sorry that your friend didn't take your gender identity seriously. I'm really proud of you for finding the courage to talk to them, even if it didn't work out the way you want. <3 

I asked one of my enby friends for advice and here are some of their tips:

- "Change your wardrobe and dress how you like. My mom always bought my clothes and I didn't like how they looked and made me feel. I talked to her and she agreed to let me buy my own clothes. I really like large jean jackets (to cover the chest area) and beanies. That's just me though. And you should dress as masculine or feminine as you like. You don't owe the world androgeny if you don't like to dress that way."

- "Try talking to an adult you trust. It can be a teacher or counseler or parent. Having an adult to talk to is important because kids are kind of immature sometimes."

- "Make subtle changes to your appearence. Cut your hair! Try different work outs!"

- "Your dysphoria is probably not going to go away, and that's ok. Just try to be as authetically you as possible while still being safe." 

I know there are a lot of LGBT+ and genderqueer people on the CB! I hope you feel comfortable expessing yourself on the CB, whether that's with non-binary charries, picturings of your CB appearence (which can be whatever you want!) or talking to other queer CBers. We support you one hundred percent. <3 

What pronouns do you use? I use she/her or they/them pronouns. I think I'm going to start putting my pronouns in my location box. I hope others do too!

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me on YWP! I'm always willing to help, no matter what. <3 <3 <3 

Always! 

<3 Fidelity 

I personally haven't experienced this, but you should maybe talk to a counselor or therapist. There are online therapist sites if you can't get to one in person (I don't know if any therapy practices are open yet, or if it depends on where you live.) I read a book recently, I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver, where the main character was non-binary and the author is also non-binary, and it was really good and might help you.

Hi! Fellow enby here <3  There's been some really good advice given before me, just thought I'd throw in my two cents as well. 

- Wear looser-fitting or larger clothing, and layer up! Hoodies are obviously great for this, you can also wear multiple shirts (layering is a Look). I've also heard that black is better at hiding your figure.

It's really difficult to come out to people, and I get it <3  I'm so sorry you had that experience, but don't let it dissuade you. I'm working on being out at school and my biggest support system so far has been the friends I'm out to. If you know any other trans people, no matter how well you know them, try contacting and coming out to them! They are far more likely to be accepting of you, and I know that even the trans people I thought I didn't know that well have been super open, supportive, and helpful. If you're uncertain about the cis people you know, I agree with what's been said before; scope them out, broach the topic without outing yourself, and then come out if you think it's safe! Also, if there are any other trans people in your life, try to pay attention to how the cis people you know treat them, if they use their correct name and pronouns outside of their presence, etc. That's been a huge gauge for me.

Bets of luck <3  I'm not here much anymore, but you can contact me on either NaNoWriMo at StOwl if you want more help/faster communication! 

First of all, I want you to know that you are completely valid for feeling like this. Don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling isn't real, because it is. I'm really sorry that your friend brushed off your feelings like that because you deserve more than that.

Also, I've never personally experienced gender dysphoria, so I reached out to some of my gener non-conforming friends to see what they had to say. I tried to sum up everything in these next bullet points.

-If you're worried about affording a binder, there are lots of companies that help youth who can't afford binders get one. I don't know if the Admins will let me reference specific sites on here, but feel free to reach out to me on YWP NaNo (if you have an account) and I can send some along that I've heard of. If you're worried about your parents seeing your search history, use an incognito browser or maybe try confiding in a friend so that you can use their device to look it up.

-Wearing big hoodies that hide your body shape help. Also, wearing a mix of men's and women's clothing reduces dysphoria as well as gender neutral colors (grey, yellow, etc). If you don't think that your parents would support you in buying androgynous/men's clothing, you can tell them that you want it for the pockets. 

-Make sure that until you get a proper binder, you're not binding unsafely. I can't tell you what all the safe and unsafe methods are, but definitely definitely NEVER USE ace bandages or duct tape. Do lots of research before you try something.

-As for voice dysphoria, one of my friends has focused on this more than the other-- they said that they've worked a lot on expanding their access to their lower voice, and that they are able to get their voice a lot lower than before. I don't know if that's something you're focused on, but if it is, there's lots of articles and YouTube videos out there.

-Sports bras and looser clothes, I'm just going to emphasize that again. Jeans and sweatpants are fairly gender-neutral as well. If you want pants that hide your body more, it is in fact fashionable to wear looser pants, so you'll probably be able to find some in whatever section of whatever store you want. 

-A beanie, if you have longer hair and want to keep it out of your face. Beanies are nice and droopy and you can tuck your hair up into it, to make it look whatever length you want. 

-If there's something you do to express yourself (both of my friends dye their hair, for example), focus on that instead of what your body looks like, sometimes.

-Button down shirts with asymmetrical patterns help hide your general body figure and draw the eye away from you and towards the pattern.

That's all from my friends. I'd also like to add in that something that helped me figure out who I was, LGBTQ+ wise, was doing research on different terms, flags, etc. I also have a lot of LGBTQ+ friends who I talked to. If you want someone to talk to, I'll always be here, on NaNo and here! I can also give you some nonbinary literature recommendations-- Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin is one of my particular favorites. I really hope you continue to live a happy, nonbinary life! <3

~Starseeker 

Just making a quick correction to my last post-- Symptoms of Being Human is about a genderfluid teen. The book I meant to reference was I Wish You All the Best, also referenced by totalnightowl I believe? But still, they're both good books.

~Starseeker 

Hi!!

I also haven't personally experienced this, but I know that it's nothing to be ashamed about. I think all the advice/suggustions everyone gave are right on and excatly what I would say. I'm sorry that someone brushed off your feelings like that. Maybe you could try to talk to her again and explain how that hurt you? But ovisously only if your comfortable and it's safe for you. I know there are someother LGBTQ+ on the CB, me included! If you ever need to talk to someone, know that you can message me on YWP. I wish you luck!

Hey, this sounds horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you with your friend. I just want to make sure you know that you did nothing wrong to make her react that way. Nothing about what you're feeling/experiencing is wrong.

I'm non-binary too, I haven't come out to very many people, and I have dysphoria too. Although, it's not super bad most of the time. 

I would recommend wearing androgynous clothing such as:

-Sweatshirts

-Oversized jean jackets

-sweatpants/jeans

-beanies

You can also look up androgynus hairstyles, clothing, etc. 

You don't have to look gender-neutral though. A lot of people think that all non-binary people look androgyous or gender-neutral, but that's not true. You should wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and most you. Androgynous clothing is just what helps me personally. 

You could try looking up some gender-neutral names, And try out the ones you like with online friends, or even real life friends if you're comfortable with that. 

You could also try chatting with people online if you're able to, and using your prefered name and pronouns with them, and see how it feels. I know that I would find people on Pinterest or other social media platforms and chat with them. Maybe ask them a bit about their experiences in figuring out their gender-identity. If you do that though, make sure you ask in a way that won't make them feel uncomfortable.

Also, try talking to other people you trust. Whether its other trans students, trans adults, trusted adults, trusted friends, etc. I can promise you that not everyone will react the way that your friend did. Your feelings are real and valid.

Good Luck!

-Storm (this is the name I chose for myself, there are tons of baby name websites with gender-neutral names. you could look up terms like: "gender neutral nature names", "tpp gender neutral names", and etc.)

Hi! I don't have any personal experience with this, but one of my best friends is non-binary. 

I don't have any good advice, but like other people hae sid, try to figure out how other people might react by suble hints and things, and then when you're more confident you can come out to them. 

Also, just know that all of us are here for you, here and on NaNo if you have an account. Good luck with all of this. <3