Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Can I join as a rogue named Night?(becomes Nightfur, black tabby she-cat)

-Micearenice, age 21 moons, Exploring a volcano
(October 16, 2015 - 8:51 am)

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I never knew when I would leave the CB. That, of course, doesn't mean the thought was absent from my mind.

From the first few months of my becoming a Chatterboxer--four years ago--I wondered to myself (idly, since it was fun to entertain such fantasies) 'How long am I going to stay? Will I be deliberate in leaving, or will I just fade away? Will people miss me when I'm gone?'

How would I know when it was time? Would my 16th birthday mark the day I outgrew this place? Would I leave in rebellion, thanks to emotion, or after a satisfying amount of time in my life had gone by here, and I felt, peacefully, it was time to move on?

A couple of times between my second CBversary and now, I've typed up bits and pieces of leaving threads, only to contemplate the words and close the tab, feeling that something wasn't right. My musings had gone from distant ponderings to tangible experiments, and each tentative post adopted greater sincerity, but still, it wasn't time.

Time. Hm. There's a fine line between 'could leave', 'should leave', and 'wants to leave.' Subconsciously I knew that when those three criteria were met, I would make my exit. Well, they've been met. Little did I know this would happen on rainy August 1st, 2019, at 3:45 pm.

Back in the olden days, I didn't expect to do a leaving thread. But that was before I'd made great friends and the CB turned me into an author and changed my life.

My name is Micearenice. This has been my name since day one, since I first announced my presence on October 16, 2015. It is quite possibly the only name--alias, character name, or otherwise--that I have come up with that did not take a million years to think of. It took me 30 seconds. I used to think it was boring, but what I didn't know is that it's much more exciting than it seems, because each person pronounces it differently. Thank you for informing me, everyone. ;)

I'm a very old fashioned CBer. No name changes for me. No character sheets on ski lodges for me. No drama. No leaving thread. (Oh wait.)

I joined during the Nostalgia War. Right smack dab at the time when Danie and St.Owl and Somebody and Wren and BHR and S.E. and TARDISrider and Indigo (well, maybe not them exactly, but they're the names I remember) had either lost some good friends (as in, they left the CB), or they were the ones leaving, and it was generally a very sad time. (Imagine joining the CB to that. It was so long ago I barely remember what was said, but it did shape my outlook on the CB for the future.)

I used to post a lot. I was twelve then. How did I find time for so much posting?! The secret to an active CBer is that they make time. Nowadays I write half-posts and then give up and close the tab. I couldn't even stick through writing a leaving thread before, but I know I'm really ready to go if I can sit here and put this many words down, type in the CAPTCHA, and press submit.

Within my first year of joining, I became shy. There were, as there always will be, the CBers who posted a lot, and were known well by the others as a result. I wanted to be one of them. Most of you reading this have probably felt that at least once as a CBer. I was also afraid of offending people or saying the wrong thing, You get the picture. So I took longer to author posts (sometimes neglecting posting altogether) and as a result not many people knew who I was, and that made me sad. Moral of the story: If you're like me--not just here, but in all conversation, digital or not--stop worrying about what you say. It suppresses your personality, and people are drawn to personality. And take it from me--almost everyone else suffers from the same thing. I wish I had understood that back then! I could have done so much more with my time as a CBer.

Then came the Politics Thread. Esthelle, I know you're out there, and I just want to let you know, before I continue, that I respect you and admire you so much. You're an amazing author (even in your shortest posts!) and you lay out your thoughts so well. The things you said on that politics thread have stuck with me for all these years and you really helped me learn how to discuss and debate with others with different views.

Most of you might not even know what the heck the Politics Thread was. It's just what it sounds like, but take any CB argument you've witnessed and mutliply it by ten. That was three years ago, a few months before the 2016 election. It's a big landmark I always think of whenever I reminisce.

So things got rocky and I withdrew and I'm sad I did. I missed out on a lot of friendships. Even now, I know a lot about you guys, but most of you barely know a thing about me.

Despite that, I feel like I made a lot of great friends here. Leeli, Cockleburr, Joss, Joan, Dragonrider, Ashlee, Panda, Hotairballoon, Ronan, Cho, Coconut, Autumn Leaves (but of course ;), Sybill, Rogue, Booksy Owly (miss you so much), Viola?, Icy, Trixie, Claaws, many more. Most of those bonds were formed through those I wrote with, or about. For instance, my first ski lodge.

Anyone remember the COME BACK ski lodge, aka The Farm Story? It's one of the longest threads on Pudding's Place, so double click replies and go to the last page to find it. That was my first novel and through writing it, my love of storytelling was born. I grew very attached to the participants, even if it was only because they were in the story. :) Thanks for sticking with me, guys--all the way to 3/4ths of a part two! You don't know how much your interaction and support has meant to me!

Speaking of which, Lake Lelillo may or may not be completed. I don't like to leave projects hanging, but enough time has passed to where I really need to start focusing on other things. If I ever want to go back to it, I will, and maybe I'll finish it here one day. If you want, contact me through Nano YWP and I might be able to send you its Google Doc with all my notes.

Something I haven't done in a while is post on a compliment thread. So, for the last time, here are some compliments.

Autumn Leaves, thanks for convincing me to join. And for always always being there for me.

Rose bud, thanks for convincing Autumn Leaves to join. ^-^

Joss, thanks for your AMAZINGNESS and, even if you didn't know it, showing me how to be a strong Christian.

Rogue, thanks for joining. 'Nuff said. I'm trying to go in chronological order but you keep popping into my brain. Remember the Piiri days? :3 Feels like just yesterday...

Leeli, aghaghagh you're amazing and sweet and kind and a great writer. It's cool how similar we are (you probably know what I mean ;). Thank you so much for reading my stories and taking the time to comment and talk with me. You've helped me learn how to speak my mind. Until we meet again!

Burry, same for you, and thank you for all the kindness you've brought to the CB.

Alizarine, you always have the funniest and most random things to say, and I love it.

Ella Starburst, you are so creative and you bring such enthusiasm to the CB!

Sybill, I love your sweet attitude and all your great ideas on Kyngdom.

Leafy, I am so happy you didn't leave the CB. I've loved reading all your Marvel posts, even if I'm not a Marvel fan. Your enthusiasm is contagious :)

Joan, thank you for standing up earlier this summer. And thank you for being a great CB friend and for being a dedicated 'CB guardian'. :)

Claaws, I had an immense amount of fun roleplaying with you on Kyngdom. Your creativity was inspiring! 

Vyolette, Starseeker, Inktail, Orangelemon, Leeli, Fidelity, SopranoTwo, and all the other Camp Nano-goers--thanks for a great time and a lot of awesome memories. ^-^  

To all the admins (past and present), I just want to let you know, out of all administrators I've encountered on the internet, y'all are the best. I still find it crazy that you read through every post! Thank you for including my comments, stories, and pictures in the magazine. It's meant a lot. :)

This post has gotten pretty long, so I guess I'll wrap it up. I'm really glad I found the CB. I'll still pop in from time to time; I'm not cutting ties completely, but now I'm retired. 

So, goodbye everybody! Don't have too much fun without me. ;D

Fareweil, Micearenice. We'll miss you. Please do come back for a visit sometime.

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