"Ow! My elbow touched the lightbulb..."

"No! Don't shOoooOOoOt!"

"The girl... with the wacky do"

"No more drawing on the walls, or the floor, or the lightbulb"

Memphis says kg oui. I think he's learning french. 

Thank goodness for this wonderful thread idea. This edition is almost a year and a half old now. XD

~"Contrary to popular belief, I am not, in fact, dead"

~"Get on that bike and ride it home!!"

~Spellbound: hey look at that bird

me: *looks out the window*

Spellbound: *steals some of my fries*

me, upon realizing that she tricked me: Look, it's (Spellbound)'s sincerity flying away!

~Mines of Spain = the Mines of Moria

~"It's like an accordion of death"

~"You must surrender your weapon, which is your butt."

~me: I feel like I talk about myself too much 

Spellbound: Really? me too

~"Someone's mind is going to be lost..."

~"he's on the verge of death for like four hours"

~"stop shipping Frodo and Sam it's not allowed" 

- Z: "Where were you yesterday?"
S: "Hiding."

- "It's officially goated"

- "Class is over.  You're over!"

- *Teacher throws plastic watter bottle away*                                                                     C: "No!  Save the turtles!"
Teacher: "The turtles don't come in here."

I have way more than these but I CAN'T REMEMBER THEM. 

And I know this is off topic but I must confess I too ship Sam and Frodo.

Me: Knock knock.

Mom: Who's there?

Me: Thor.

Mom: Thor who?"

Me: THOR BANGING LOKI ON THE MEAD WITH HIS HAMMER!!!!!!

The Story Behind That: I was making a picture of Thor, and for some reason, I made Thor banging Loki on the head with that hammer.

- "And now, the amazing how to survive lava in survival mode in Minecraft! *Forgets to drink fire resistance potion and jumps into lava* Oops, this is not how I planned it to go. And I JUST MINED DIAMONDS TOO!!! *Dies in game*"

-“So you’re not supposed to throw away your shot, but what if you recycle it?”

-“Did you just dump me for a glove?” 

-"Fay and I are starting an anti-cheese alliance!" 

-“Devastation shall come to all soaps!”

-“I’m busy killing a magic squid!”

-“I’m guessing that Sam is responsible for the randomly combusting cows?” 

-"CHEESE IS DEATH"

Nope you did it right (is there even a wrong way).  I have a few...

-"Get us outta here, leaf!"

-"It's bread.  It's either long and skinny and you hit people with it, or it's round and you hold it like a baby."

-*trying to rap* "Oh, he said I'm stupid I'm really not stupid, I put my hat in the jelly!"

-"You're like Thorin, exept with noodles"

-"NOBODY THREW NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM OFF A ROOF.  GOSH."

-"Yeah!  Medus went rouge!" *this one requires context to make sense*

-"Your name is Sheik and you're a sheep.  Baaah."

-C: "The sun'll come out tomor-"  M: "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

-"She translates Homer to human!"

-"You ate all the blue cookies?!  Those were the only connection I had to my childhood!"

-Teacher: "Why are you hugging the lamp?"  M: "IT'S MY FRIEND!"

"Do you want to write a letter to her?  Well you can't.  Because she's dead."

-"Contrary to popular belief, I do not have a spare toad."

"This class is a Greek tragedy."

"It's probably the baguette coming back to haunt you." 

-"There he goes, with his skiving shteig-boxs."

-"Your life revolves around toothpicks."

-"That is the most intense game of rock paper scizzors I have seen in my entie life."  

-"You have to make the blanket baby shaped. Otherwise it will come back to haunt you forever."

-"Sandwich mode..." 

Say honey bun correctly next time

There's kind of a trend of breaking into grocery stores at 3 am

I will name drop you if i like you hypocrite. 

I forgot the best one;

A.Grabs my throat Tell me you listened to my chemical romance or i'll do it

Me: I...Listened..to..

a.Yes?

me: something.. in a similar genre?

A. *tightens grip until i scream*

Teacher: What's going on here?!