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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!
-"YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? *continued*"
-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"
-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"
-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen."
-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"
-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"
-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"
-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia
Me: Hey that's not wrong
-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."
-"You look like Shrek"
-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"
-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"
-"This confetti sucks"
-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-"
submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
"Stop jumping on other people's cars. That's illegal!"
"You're criminalization!"
(June 28, 2020 - 9:45 am)
-I'm a late sleeper. Like, once I woke up at 6:09!
-Mom, I think I lost my bladder!
-S: freeze, young lady! You've been arrested by the FBI for STEALING!
A: hey, I didn't steal anything!
S: except my heart.
S&A: *smooching sounds* ( this was a skit my friend and I made up. I have no idea where it came from)
(June 28, 2020 - 4:05 pm)
-“Glorgo the Hutt”
-“Flamin’ James”
-“GET OFF MY THRONE OR I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE”
-(playing Minecraft with another Hamilton fangirl XD) “If you throw paper into Nether lava while singing Burn, I will pay you a diamond.”
-“Why are you throwing eggs everywhere?!”
-“Since we can’t have a party, I’m just gonna hang up some streamers and play with the garbage disposal”
-“You know if you elect yourself as queen, James will start making angry squirrel noises”
-“Sith hood ornament”
-“You get a chicken! And you get a chicken! Everyone gets a chicken!”
-“I’m making a Gerald shrine”
-“Hello. My name is [Agent Winter]. You killed my face. Prepare to be kinda hungry.”
-“Sound the thrumpets”
-“Yeah that’s what we secret owl people do”
-“Mermaid Squad”
-“A blare of crumpets for the king!”
-“James is on fire again”
-“I love that you guys are trying to put out a fire and Sam is just waiting behind you for the burnt sheep”
-“Ohhhhhhh Bob...”
-“Cosmo’s dabbing again”
-“Why are you moonwalking out the door with a Stormtrooper?”
-“I am cupholder hear me roar”
-“I just stabbed myself with stabbing”
-“Bacon spices”
-“It was a surprisingly engaging tale of fajita delivery!”
-“Afternoon cheese”
-“Protect the lightning fish!”
-“WHYYYYY, LAFAYETTE?!”
-“Charcoal Uvula”
I can attempt to provide explanations...
(June 28, 2020 - 4:30 pm)
The Hamilton/Minecraft one is beautiful. XD
(June 30, 2020 - 10:14 am)
XD Yes, playing Minecraft with my friend who loves Hamilton is amazing, we were looking for an End City and singing Stay Alive the other day lol (because she kept getting killed by Endermen and I told her “try to stay alive ok?” And that sort of spiraled...)
(June 30, 2020 - 11:18 am)
I'm sure we'ev said many memorable and wacky names lately, but here's some pretty memorable ones...
Me: Maybe she has, like, a flower name.
My mom: Oh, like June?
*pause*
Mom: *hysterical laughter*
Me: Oh, yeah. Junes are lovely. They're my favorite flower.
"That looks like some childhood"
"They should do a Mystery Science Theater 3000 reboot, and they should watch Sharknado and Twilight."
"You are no match for Jack Sparrow's jar of dirt."
(June 30, 2020 - 12:43 pm)
Honestly no one is a match for Jack Sparrow's jar of dirt
(June 30, 2020 - 7:33 pm)
-"I can see the fire in your eyes. No, literally. The fire is reflecting off your glasses."
-Mom: I'm hungry.
Me: me too! Actually, no I'm not. I just want donuts.
(July 1, 2020 - 11:33 am)
I read, like, two pages, and I'm already laughing my head off!!
J: Who do you like better, this YouTuber, or this actor?
Me: *Pretends to think hard* Can I have lunch?
J: WHAT?!?!
I'M GOIN' NUTS!!! *Gets a sledgehammer and breaks a new car for no reason*
(Whaaa...)
Yeah, don't ask.
Bradley said "frbed". BRADLEY SAID HIS FIRST ACTUAL WORD BRADLEY I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!
(Awwwt) (hhhxx.)
(July 1, 2020 - 11:58 am)
I'm dying of laughter. TOPTOPTOPTOPTOP.
(August 12, 2020 - 9:48 am)
~ C- “A hundred soldiers die in a thousand degree heat... waaaait...”
~ Aaron Burr- I wanna- C- gummy bear!
~ M- I can sing ‘Satisfied’! That’s five words per second! Ch- yeah, you just sing it slower...
~ Me- don’t touch the floaty unicorn! K will kill us!
~ C- Radioactive Chicken!!!
(August 14, 2020 - 9:23 pm)
Ahh! I forgot one!
~ C- wait! One more thing! Ch- why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? C- because I am!
Vixen said keyed!!! A real word!!!
(August 14, 2020 - 9:26 pm)
"Smells like... America."
"I think I just reached nirvana. Whatever that is."
My dad: "When I was a kid, we just learned our morals from tv programs."
*little girl playing with barbies in a camper outside*
My mom: Oh, they're camping!
Girl:*dead serious* No, they're GLAMPING.
(During a charades game in which the actor is making a crown on their head)
T: "QUEEN ELIZABETH THE THIRD!"
D: *in a proper-sounding voice* "The duchess of sussex."
"I don't understand how you LOSE a SHED-"
My mom: "Well, don't be having any close conversations-"
My sister: "Oh no, I dont talk to people anyway."
(August 16, 2020 - 9:25 am)
A: *sends a gif of mean girls*
C: OOOOHHHHHHWWWWWWW
C: Is that Amelia Membrosas?
A: Have you watched mean gls*
C: yes but I fell asleep at some parts
C: is that actress amelia membrosas tho?
A: Oh
A: Idk
---
This is a conversation about our math assignment
Me: I'm freeeee kinda
A: okay could you help me
Me: Sure what do you need
THE GARDEN THING!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay what are you having trouble with
I did like 4 pictures and NONE OF THEM ARE RIGHT
How do you know none are right
did he** say so
what the heck are there three boxes of 4
because my parents said
or 4 not of
So first draw a rectangle
ya i did that
then, divide the rectangle in to two parts
One is a purple part, and one is a pink part
yes...
should i color them in
then divide each half in to thirds
sure
okayyyyy
so for the pink part, he wants one third to be geraniumns
for the purple part, he wants 2 thirds to be lavender
ya the preety pink flowers
but how do I draw that?!?!
draw a rectangle
then divide it into halves
where???
???
I don't know on a random piece of paper
are you being sartastic
IM SOOOOOOOOOO CONFUSEDDDDD
as I was saying, write purple under on half and pink under the other
NO PAY ATTENTION.
okay
then, divide each half in to thirds.
he wants on third of the pink half to be geraniums, and he wants two thirds of the purple half to be lavender
are you still there?
hi
sorry C
anyway, YOU are supposed to pick some pink flowers you find online and put them in the two thirds section of the ink half does this make sense
no
do you wanna facetime so I can explain it better?
i think I'll pass
lol
it would be soooo much easier but fine
no I get it though
are you suuuuuuuure?
no
hold on
...
okayyyy
i get it nowwww
okay did C help you
no if you can't help me then C can sertanly not
do I use numbers???
on the garden bed thing
yeah
where?
it took me 11 minutes to try and explain this you and you still don't get it.
yeah but where?
in the THIRDS!!!!
-----
andddd I'll just cut that off there...
* girls
** our math teacher
(August 17, 2020 - 8:38 am)
-"Machmud's cat does not look like a rat." This is not inherently funny, except that we had this really long discussion about it in Ivrit class. Like, a really long discussion.
-"Superman! Oh, no. Sof zman krias shema! DAB!"
"DO NOT DAB OR ELSE."
-"I am sharpening your head with my sock."
-"This narwhal looks like Voldemort."
"It's a manitee."
(August 17, 2020 - 9:54 am)