Places to Chat
Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!
-"YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? *continued*"
-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"
-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"
-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen."
-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"
-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"
-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"
-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia
Me: Hey that's not wrong
-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."
-"You look like Shrek"
-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"
-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"
-"This confetti sucks"
-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-"
submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
(March 22, 2020 - 8:45 pm)
In a sarcastic tone: "Yes, mom, I can do math. 2 is smaller than 1.( pause) Oh wait-" XD I said that.
"It is your own personal nose and you are responsible for taking care of it."
(March 23, 2020 - 9:55 am)
@La'crosse Your fifth one made me crack up XD
-“I feel like I’m saying ‘in these trying times’ after everything I say now”
-“Ok I’m done with humanity. I want to go live amongst the forest creatures.” *walks out to the backyard*
-Anna: "Yeah, I'll probably be at the party."
Me: "I mean, we don't know though. You could be on the moon. That's more likely, really."
-“Gods of darkness are TIGHT”
-“I swear I’m only a little insane!”
-*playing Mafia* Celeste: “I think Simone’s the murderer!”
Simone: “Why do you say that?”
Me: “Simone you’re holding a giant battleaxe”
Simone: "Yeah, and??" (turns out she was the murderer)
(March 23, 2020 - 10:01 am)
On trampoline:
A: allrighty im gonna call E.
*A double bounces me*
me: AAHH IM DYING IM DYIN-
*E. answers phone, hears:
IM DYING IM DYING
E: wut
(March 23, 2020 - 2:59 pm)
-The ladybug mafia is after Annamae
-HIDE THE DEAD BODIES BEHIND THE FRIDGE
(March 23, 2020 - 5:23 pm)
Me:"I have no idea what I'm doing on Minecraft half the time I'm playing it!"
J: "What's 9x33?"
Me: "Are you even listening to me?"
J: "Nope that's not the answer."
Me: "Ok, now I know that you never listen to me."
J:"..."
Me:" That's what I thought."
(March 24, 2020 - 1:08 pm)
*a year or two ago when I was learning Tai Kwon Do*
My teacher: Okay want to spar one on one?
Me: Sure!
Furious rival who just got his butt kicked: She'll never hit him.
Me: *doesn't win, but gets several hits*
FRWJGHBK: *okay screw this face*
(FYI, I had three rivals and kicked their butts every lesson.)
(March 24, 2020 - 5:01 pm)
Anne: While you're home alone, steal all the chocolate, and play Panic! At The Disco on full volume.
Me: *hides in closet so I don't have to do math* NOOOOO
(March 25, 2020 - 8:56 am)
I love this thread!
-My mom: "You're killing my noodles!"
My dad: "Ok, here's your dead noodles."
- *my dog is eating something, probably animal poop, and I'm trying to pull her away from it*
Little kid: What's she eating?
Me: Something disgusting.
Kid: like apple sauce?
Me: I don't think so...
(March 25, 2020 - 11:18 am)
A: The amount of time I've spent on [popular app name] in the past week is alarmin.
M+Z: I'm so disappointed.
(March 25, 2020 - 11:41 am)
Me: "If I snore please do NOT throw a pillow at my head."
M: *throws pillow at me*
Me: "WHAT DID I SAY?!?!?!? Wait, was I even snoring?"
M: "Yep."
Me: "Well at least tell me that I was snoring and no pillow throwing at my head without my permission ,OK?"
M: *Throws pillow at me again*
Me: "Do you ever listen to me???"
M: "Not really, no."
(March 25, 2020 - 1:14 pm)
I've got a lOt, get ready for a dump (if anyone would like explanations, feel free to ask XD):
***
"For those of you who have spines--oh wait that's like all of you...."
"I was just wondering, if I mixed some food together and put it on my face, would you yell at me?"
"The library is VERY romantic!"
"I have a ribcage TOO."
"Sorry Larry, this won't help you grow hair."
"Oh, leeches."
"So we were having a waffle-off..."
Texting conversation gone wrong because of spellcheck: "I just walked past these two guys and I swear one of them gave me a really creepy look" "Lol" "I ignited them (tears of laughter emoji)" "(flushed freaked out emoji)" "oh gosh I mean ignited" "(flushed freaked out emoji)" "oh man I mean ignored" "got it"
"I'm on like a potato high."
"Pull the head forward, then flatten." "WHAT?"
"Maybe that lady will come out and yell at us and be like, 'scat, chowderheads'."
"Is he grass fishing?"
"Cook? Cat lady? Chris Evans?"
"Dibble the Dumbun"
"I don't know if you're going to be able to resist Chris Evans in a sweater"
"Do you wanna head a spike?"
"There's like a twig in his mouth"
"Robery Downt Kr"
"Naan shall pass"
"MEAD? In shortcake?"
"If you want to grow, don't eat anything with shortening in it."
"It must be nice to just flap off to your Scottish castle...."
(March 26, 2020 - 12:09 pm)
so me and my friend were sitting at a table for a writing contest meeting, and this conversation happened.
-J: A. A. A!
A: I'm not A! Wait..
Everyone: Yes you are!
A: Wait...what?
-Me: are you angry-life-pouring?
-Me: Western-dead-squirell!
-Mom: Humans.
Luna: They exist?
(March 26, 2020 - 12:20 pm)
Me: *Thinking to myself while reading a 'book' I wrote a few years ago.*"Hmmmmm...Oh COME ON!!! *Shows name* IS SO YESTERDAY!!! Actually, WHY DID I WRITE THIS JUNK?!?!?! AND HOW OLD WAS I?!?!?!? Ok, I hope my future kids never see this stuff. I can't even READ it!!!!! And why did I say to get the person out of the way or he's gonna be turned into human peanut butter?"
Me: "Ok, I'm gonna do it! Oh wait, I need to go in the garage. I need to get my tennis racket too."
J: "Ok."
Me: *Hit tennis ball over the garage roof by accident.* "Ooops. Uh, are you going to get that? No? Ok, I'll jump over the fence." *Climbes over the fence, ets the ball, then jumps back over.* "Ok, let's not do that again."
J: "Agreed."
Me: "I had a feeling you would say that."
(March 27, 2020 - 1:37 pm)
Anne: I found the water balloons. *evil smile*
(March 30, 2020 - 8:57 am)