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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!
-"YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? *continued*"
-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"
-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"
-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen."
-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"
-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"
-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"
-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia
Me: Hey that's not wrong
-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."
-"You look like Shrek"
-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"
-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"
-"This confetti sucks"
-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-"
submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
-“Do not evoke Baby Yoda”
-“Why is there a fork on the car floor?” *hysterical laughter*
-“Many Blothans died bringing us this blagel”
-“Norp man”
-“Chili chzzzzzzzzz”
-“Aaaand now it’s a butt tree.”
-“Oops I burned Canada”
-“Please! save me from the Russian leprechaun!!”
-“How about we leave the sandwich for that one old guy who’s not a turtle?”
-“—and that house belongs to Yelly Poop Lady—“
-“I’m semi automatic... my prayer is a tomaaaaato!!”
-“All my favorite people are waffles”
-“Theoretically, anyone can bleat.”
-“You’re not trying to sell me a used dragon, are you?”
-“It’s surprisingly hard to take off your pants without getting wet.”
-“Ooh, those are big pink ladies!”
-“Lorenzo, why is your butt so pointy?”
-“I’m basically an angsty hamster”
-“Jackson is a chihuahua puppy. I’m like... an older chihuahua puppy?”
-“Oh, I can choke myself? Yay!”
-“Twine is basically post-apocalyptic yarn with no creativity.”
-“If Baylee says he’s Optimus Prime, I’ll punch him for you.”
(February 23, 2020 - 11:36 am)
This quote is one my friend's classmate said:
Kid: "There's a demonic drawing on my desk!"
Teacher: "Good."
Some from my school:
"Release him!" (Right after we had read The Giver)
"Social studies is literally art class"
"So I wanted to see if saying positive things to plants would make them grow better"
"No corn for you tonight, slave!"
"That skeleton in your closet freaked me out!" (Makes more sense in context)
"I ship it"
"How moist was the bread?"
"Go die in a corner" (My music teacher said that)
(February 23, 2020 - 11:41 am)
"How can I not do a good job, it's breathing"
"Hey Siri what is the name of Nick Fury's cat?"
"You don't actually think I would throw a plastic walrus puzzle at you do you?"
"Oh no! There's cucumber in my eyebrow!"
"That's the first thing I think of when I think of you. I think: bank robber."
(February 23, 2020 - 1:21 pm)
All of this has been said in my French class
"WOOOAAAHH"- the only word in my classmate's vocabulary.
"Let's keep it PG clean!"
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Trying to name a sentence you've said that doesn't have swearing in it."
Friend: . . .
Me: We haven't been very successful.
"I think I'm allergic to my own hair."
"How did you get an EIGHT* on your test? Do you dream in French or something?"
"So you're basically letting us watch a French anime while you shop on Amazon. . .sounds great!"
"OXFORD COMMAS TILL I DIE!" (inside joke)
*My school grades in numbers 1-8, eight being the highest, one being the lowest.*
(February 23, 2020 - 5:28 pm)
~C: Guys I think I'm addicted to gum.
~C: So you know about Polly? *(his dog)* So....she kinda died.
Me: No!!
A: Not Polly!
M: How?
C: So my grandpa was walking her by the creek and she pulled on her leash and he let go-
Me: Um-
C: Then she ran into the creek and um, drowned.
A: What.
C: Because-because her leash got caught on a branch and the branch like held her down. My grandpa like tried to get her leash but he couldn't...
Me: You. Are SO weird.
*a few weeks later* C: So guys Polly didn't actually die. I just made that up.
Me, A, & M: *facepalm*
(February 23, 2020 - 5:59 pm)
”I hate semantics...What are they?”
”Everyone is annoying. You just have to find the place in your heart to be annoying!”
(February 23, 2020 - 6:06 pm)
Ooh, I forgot one:
”Allright, take your skinned cheese stick and move on to the next seat!”
(February 29, 2020 - 1:57 pm)
*Just starts laughing like mad for no reason.*
Parents in mind: .....She's gone nuts.
This happens a lot more then you might think XD
(February 23, 2020 - 6:41 pm)
Oh Alex I did that once, and we actually took a video of it. I laughed even harder when my younger sister sat on my legs, for some reason. XD
Me: *watches someone get punched on TV* DeAtH tO cOrKs!!!!
SE: What
ME: It's the name of a character in The Kane Chronicles, just think it's fun to say.
SE: Oh
(February 24, 2020 - 11:52 am)
You should NEVER give me a whole lot of sugar because at 8:00, I turn into a random laugh-attack-for-no-reason-and-I-won't-stop-and-I-almost-suffocate-and-still-won't-stop-and-then-I-start-thinking-about-hamsters-playing-the-piano-or-something-like-that girl. Wow that was a LOT of these: -
(February 25, 2020 - 6:39 pm)
" 'Sorry, I REALLY need to work on my dramatic exit.' Alex said, coughing and climbing out my window".
That was a part from my book that I'm currently writing.
"Wait, WHAT?"
"I LUV MINECRAFT!!"
"Oh yeah BOIIIIII!!"
"That... Is what I like in a man. A charming smile,perfect hair, and ice blue eyes that stare STRIAGHT into my soul."
"Hiiiii!! I'm Princess Unikitty, and I welcome you into CLOUD COOKOO LAND!!"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!"
"Everything is Awesome... NOT!!!!!!!"
Ok, half of those are actually ones I said, but the second to last ones are from the Lego Movie.
(February 25, 2020 - 6:29 pm)
My dad to me and my sister: "Wow. You guys are so old. You're like actual people now."
(February 26, 2020 - 9:04 pm)
Top! We need funny quotes in these trying times
-“For some reason ‘eel to the 4th power’ is hilarious to me.”
-“I WANT FLOATING NACHOS, OKAY?”
-“Head-canon: the janitor is a bounty hunter”
-“Wait why are you squaring lemurs”
-“Why do my markers smell like shawarma?!”
-“Bob’s gone for good, there’s no hope”
-“It was weird enough without the evil robot selling detergent.”
-“Still confused about the Gatorade lightsaber tho”
-“Ok, I promise I will not hoard the pudding!”
-Anna: “You’re wearing pants, right??”
Me: “...Define pants”
(March 18, 2020 - 8:10 pm)
Okie dokie
- This has come down to it, we're having fist fights over toilet paper.
- I love this show! Me: Yeah so do I buster
- Hey do you wann- ZOOTOPIA
- SKSKSSKKSSKS- Anne: STOP
- EXTROVERTS ARE GOING TO WALMART 5 TIMES A DAY FOR SOCIAL INTERACTION
- What the actual frick.
- FALALALALALALALALAAAAAA!Wait its June
-Yessssss.
- I'm gonna slap you. Brody: Not if I slap you firstttt
(March 23, 2020 - 8:00 am)
(March 22, 2020 - 6:21 pm)