"He's dead all right!"

"How much cheese would a cheese weasel wheeze if a cheese weasel could wheeze cheese?"

"No potato!" "Yes potato!" "No Potato!"

I'm laughing so hard! You guys have awesome friends!!! I don't see my friends much... :/ Ah well. I can come on here!

My friends (the boys anyway) always call me 'Mom' or sometimes they include me as one of the guys, because I'm a tom boy....it is funny but annoying. There are even other tom boys in my homeschool group! Heh.... they don't care....

Here are a few things , some of them were said to other people around me. 

"This is so exciting!" -- talking about dissection class --  -- later on in the class - "Fascinating!!!" 

"Ooooh! EPIC EYEROLL!!" 

Me: "No I've never kissed someone outside my family." Friend: "You just kissed her arm!" Me: "Oh...well...that is different."  '

"You wan't me to kiss the wall?"

"I  accidentally hung a robin once." 

"My friend shoved dog food down my throat."

"I played guitar until my fingers bled. It was one of my proudest moments." 

"You just threw him into a tree!" 

Friend: "My mom would never let me go to a R rated movie with a boy, even if I wanted to, which I don't." Me: "What is a R movie?" ...Yeah I don't watch movies. 

Me: "There is nothing like reading the dictionary on a rainy day." Friend: "[name here] Aren't there hundreds of books to read that aren't the dictionary?" Me: "Yes...but the dictionary holds a little bit of everything."

Me: "I have Canada's national anthem stuck in my head." Friend: "That is just weird."

"I hate you." "I hate you too."

"I ate Justin Beiber's cat."

"HERE COMES THE PANCAKE ARMY"

"I kinda want to spoil the book for you." "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You're dead inside, aren't you?" "Yeah."

"I AM A MALEVOLENT GOD!" "I am a malevolent GODDESS."

"Eternal state of pissed off." 

"Hopefully that person is dead. Or a god." 

There are more that I cant think of right now because I have a horrible memory. My friends are insane. So am I.

I've got a ton of these!

"You hit the president with a baritone!"

"Sorry, we were too busy talking about Chinese food and world domination to care."

"Is it illegal to throw eggs at the White House?"

"They're nose hair buddies."

"Attention all students, we are missing an orange."

"I came out and you were holding an abnormally large goose"

"We're just playing a friendly game of shoot your friend in the head!"

"What is the definition of the word 'casserole'?"

"Your plastic surgery didn't work."

"Fairies don't do the chicken dance!"

"I will murder you with a shish kebab and no one will ever know" (don't ask me, ask my psychotic friends)

"I am NOT a peanut"

"How is having a baby not apocalyptic??"

"Frosty the stupid snowman walked into the sunflower shop and died."

"Cheesesticks are love, cheesesticks are life."

"Frick you, Mrs. Mustard!"

"I don't know why you guys think my dad looks like a serial killer"

"That's our kindergarten teacher, the one who was obsessed with cough drops."

"They have a new single coming out called mayonnaise?"

Here's mine:

"No! Just listen! Melan (my friend's nickname) has hair, right?" "Yeah..." "And Andrew has hair, right?" "Mmhmm..." "So Melandrew!!!" "BUT CONDREW!!! WHAT ABOUT CONDREW!?" *Conner runs away* 

"I am never, ever going to eat strawberries again."

"Liz, if you don't eat then you won't have any energy to watch those freaky anime things you like to watch." *Liz gasps and starts shoving food into her mouth*

"I'm an emo goth on the outside, but a pink and purple butterfly in a field of yellow flowers in the sun on the inside." "At least it isn't the other way around!"

"When can we have another food fight?" "In...lets see...0 SECONDS!!!" 

"So...you're telling me, that if I eat mushrooms and potatoes all day for a year, I'll become a hobbit?" *nods* "Ok then. I know what's for dinner!" "Mushrooms and potatoes?" "No, you stupid ferret! Macaroni!!!" 

"We counted, and I solemnly swear, if they were all one person, he would have been stabbed in every. Single. Place. Every single one! Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, jaw, neck, all over the head, shoulders, collarbone, upper arms, forearms, wrists, fingers, all over the chest too, *takes a deep breath* stomach, bottom, thighs, knees, whatever your lower legs are called, and all over your feet. And your elbows."

"Hey Cade, making farting noises in front of someone's face is a new way of showing affection!"

"And then, I kid you not, I ate a piece of pizza."

Yeahhhhh...I have weird friends. But some of that was me, so I guess we're perfect for each other.

"Didn't that just guide you through life's emotional journey?"

"There's probably more lead in the water at this school..."

"1-800-commit a crime, 1-800-commit a crime, 1-800-commit a crime, Commit your crime today" (to the tune of the cars for kids jingle) 

"Free mush, a free concrete bed, and a free tin can toilet every day?! Awesome!"

"Styrofoam!"

"Fairy!"

"I saw Mr. _______ and his head was shining in the light!" 

"I think I pulled a muscle in my stomach."

"NO! Don't erase the potato shark!!!"

"umm.... There's a tiger in our room! We have to go capture it!"

"That bacon looks like dog treats."

I have another good one but it might sound innapropriate out of context so I'm not going to put it on here.

Some of these were things I said, some are from my friends. 

Turquoise says cehc.  

"That guy's mustache looks like a cheeto puff"

"I've got the pope in my locker!"

"It was literally just like The Karate Kid, but about roosters and entirely in Spanish"

"I don't have a bionic toe!"

"I'm gonna pour that distilled water on you, John"

"This gluestick tastes like fruit"

"You always sound like a dying horse!"

"We have to write about freaking Andre the Giant!" "Um... Alexander the Great?"

"No, no, it was like High School Musical but at Walmart"

"John, getcha head out of the gutter"

"This grape is like, as big as 1/4 of my forehead"

"No hablo mi queso!"

"We thought there was poison on the pajamas or something"

"You hair smells like sand."

"OK, does this jacket really smell like celery?" "No, it smells like an old man wearing too much cologne, and salad dressing."

YAAAAS I HAVE SO MANY OF THESE!

Okay, okay:

"It's bright pink-- just no."

"We're being beaten by flabby sausages. The big feet, the dinglehopper, come on guys! Great, also clever pigeons and doodlebops." 

"I'm going to steal your boyfriend. Dangit! A queen!" "Seven, five. Yes! I get my boyfriend back!"

*blocks friend from getting off the bus* "What's the password?" "Move, I'm your mother!" (It worked though!!)

"Vote Hate 2017!" I HATE happy moments!"

"Brain children are people too!"

"I can't decide if I want to kill her sister or her whole family..."

"I PUT THE LAUGHTER IN MANSLAUGHTER HAHAHA" (surprisingly, this quote has nothing to do with the one abpve it!)

"But I don't want my saxophone to be a cyborg!"

"I've got your pickle sandwich right here!" "Thank you very much-- AAH! *screams* DARN YOU HYPOTHERMIAN FLUER! GO BACK TO EATING DOG FOOD!" "He's carrots, isn't he." "Yes, he is most definetely a photoshopped cluster of carrots."

More later!

~Starseeker 

"It's not weird to bring the trident into Math!"

"Well, you've got Andrew, use him as backup if all else fails."

"We're not asking Ms. Hansen to ask Owen to sign a stick of wood."

"This is crossing into borderline stalker-ish territory."

"Should we just wait outside his locker for him? Or is that creepy?"

"I'm right, it says so right here on the internet!"

"Ah, yes, my ninja roll. That I didn't do on the last day because I would've smashed into the bench and died." 

"This is the strangest conversation that I ever... Actually, nevermind. Remember the one about Rebel Wilson?" 

"Yes, these are seventh grade girls that I'm hanging out with, and *sigh* yes, they are all taller than me."

"Cockroaches! Are! Not! Asexual!"

"If Taylor's in this chat I will cry." 

"Rowen, get over here!" — "My name is Owen." — "Not anymore."

"Say g'bye to my hair!"

"There's a lizard under here somewhe— Hey, look, Evy, a ten dollar bill!"

"Y'know your fly was down the entire time, right?"

"We may have found Odysseus but now my shoes are missing." 

"Good ol' Jimmy-James-Madison."

"Everybody do the Cult Clap!" 

"Thanks for getting into the pool for .2 seconds." 

"I got the 'Gracie is gorgeous' part because like, duh, but what happened before that?"

"Look, it says gullible on the ceiling!"

"Hey, Molly's dress is holy too."

"Is this congretation anti-clapping??" 

"Your hair says that the wind is coming from that way."

"I'm a chicken with a peanut and a spinner!"

"Do you normally go around sitting on people's heads, Phoebe?"

More later.