I'm sorry, Indigo. I'm so sorry.

I don't know want to do with myself. I love CB, but like you say.... The rps are so fast, and I terribly miss the Shadow Rp.... If... If we could do that again, I would be much happier.

Snuggles, Squeak, they.... Went poof. The wheel, my raygun, everything... No one even noticed they existed. I want to write about them again. I think I sometimes try to... But all those silly ski lodges that are pretty much a run-down version of the real one, they are made by people I don't know, people who write too fast...

I'm in my little pretend hole, and on cb I'm someone I'm not, someone I don't want to be...

I want it BACK! BLASTER, Winter, MP, the wheel! All those fights against Squeak!

I liked it with only a few Alter Egos.. I don't feel special anymore... I wished I hadn't said the news that Squeak was my twin. I regret it so much. 

Oh, the Shadow RP... If I tried to bring back that small memory of my past cb self, it would fail. All those fast-paced rps would crush it, destroy it, and stop it from existing...

And I miss you, Indigo. I miss talking to you, in the Shadow RP.... You where one of my first friends..

I want to be special again. I want to be ME again. If someone would notice who I truly am!?! Brookeira, Winter, Me, Indigo, all of those people... Those are who I miss the most. Because I know we aren't showing who we are.

I'm being repetetive, but I just want to show my feelings. My partners in crime, my fellows in pie-throwing, my amazing rpers, please help me. 

And just another note I wanted to escape... My loveable Snuggles is NOT a captcha. All those foolish captchas are ruining my little Snuggle's life. No one knows he exists anymore. My loveable man-eating puffball, who would always annoy Squeak...

Not to be mean, but Somebody's alter egoes are again out of control. Also, I used to think (during the Golden, Middle-ie and Oldie Harmony Age) that MAPLE and SAVVY were hyper. Now they're some of the more mature people on here.

I don't think this should be a war or anything. And yeah, where's Masked Piester? Where's Squeak? Where's  Snuggles? Where's my heart?

I'm not sure what I am: a middle-ie, a newbie, a middle-middlie, whatever. But... I guess I should say sorry.

I guess.... times are changing. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Blaster was really awesome, and I miss you; Squeak, you were amazing. Masked Piester, you're cool too.

I try to keep my AEs... er, AE... not hyper. I used to purposely make them hyperactive and crazy... now, I understand how annoying it can be, and I try to keep Dev at just "funny". He comes up once in a while for a punch line. As for Feather, well.... she comes up as much as Dev does. And she's meant to be mature. An Antoine. 

As for Somebody.... I know she doesn't want to... you know... start another fight. She just wants to be funny, like I want to be funny! But I'll let her speak for herself.

As for the RPs. I like fast-paced, so-many-problems RPs. Where trouble arises in every sector. The bad stuff happens when people post at the same time, or are away for a while, or misunderstand something. The thing is, the climaxes aren't the climax. They're buildups. There are so many CBers nowadays that there are way more RPs. People can't be as focused on them as they used to. If they went longer, I'm certain we'd have our real climaxes- for example, if my Hogwarts RP hadn't died, Sparrow would have died and become a ghost. The discovery of the Nundu was just the beginning.

I'd love to say more, lots more! But unfortunately, I have to leave. Again, I'm sorry.

A few things:

Am I still considered a newbie? I know I'm not a middle-ie, but there are many, many, many much newer people than me.

I feel that all these RPs go way too fast, and also that if I don't go on CB for a day or 2, I miss everything and have to do a ton of catching up. All of these little ski-lodge types and stories and RPs move a little to quickly for me to catch up with. 

There is a sort of pressure on the CB to be known and recognized as a CBer, someone who is easily called upon in CBer picturing, games where you talk about people, nominations, that sort of thing. And so people post a lot to get that sort of recognition, recogntion as the person who you are which mostly confines the very typical nowadys newer than newbie: Someone who likes writing, is super crazy, acts very creative but really seems to use everybuggy else's ideas. If this was a place where we could just congregate to share a single love of writing and not have the craziness...sure, I like being silly, but seriously, the CB can get pretty out of hand. 

And there are a million RPs exploding on the Inkwell constantly that die out by the first four or so comments, and people keep making more and more and more and more and more...there is no poetry or story writing or any thing traditional like that on the Inkwell...just RPs.

The CB goes a little too quickly for someone like me who has limeted computer time.

Thanks for reading this entire post. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a lot to address here. 

First of all, as one of the oldest of oldies (how I hate that name), I say that I like the CB completely as is and do not feel pushed out. I don't comment on many threads because not very many RPs interest me. RPs here have never interested me much. I also have less time than before.

I also like the alter egoes very much. You all amuse me to no end and I'm happy to see you enjoying yourselves. Although I would never have called Red an alter ego, some of the interactions between the egoes remind me of the shenanigans between myself and my hallucinatory friends. It makes me smile. Even for those who have never had hallucinations (thank your genetics and whatever you believe in that you are such blessed people), you have friends of you own and you can recognise what the alter egoes are. It's being friends with yourself. It's important to love yourself and get along with yourself and that's exactly what alter egoes are. They are a celebration of the self. It is beautiful.

Second, to address Danie's points. (I'm going down this thread and reading it a second time.) Why can't you be who you are? The CB is a big, big place and every thread is not like another. Although things may move quickly in other places and follow new rules and customs, I made a thread that follows my rules exactly as I like it and that's the way it goes. Call me stubborn (yes, I am), but it's fine to have your own thread at your own pace.

Here's the point I'm trying to make: The CB is a living environment. It becomes what you make of it. If you want to make a change in the CB, you need to make it. Complaints on threads and other negative reinforcements often make people feel upset. Can we try to make more positive changes? (By positive and negative, I don't mean emotionally, I mean lessening CB content vs adding CB content.) Create a RP or thread the way you want it. Live CB the way you want it and you'll have a bit of CB that's just right for you. Everyone, this is important. We're all very different people, but we can still get along. We have many interests, so let's all cultivate our own. If there's something you're not fond of or don't want to partake in, ignore it.

Yes. the CB moves quickly. That's something that's going to happen as a result of more users, not necessarily new users. Please, try to keep up on things that interest you, and don't bother with the rest. Everyone, I would really like us to all get along.