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Death Drop (Dystopian)
I'm venturing into...
I'm venturing into two worlds that I have never set foot in before now. The first is futuristic writing, and the second is piecing together a story from different POVs, journal entries, and flashbacks. Both are very difficult, and I would appreciate some advice.
So first off, the basic plot is not as scary as it sounds. It centers around Areeka Adimm, a 12-year-old shy, smart, overlooked student who is taking Elite Level classes at the Hilath School. However, Areeka ("Ree") has something that many people don't expect to find in her: an iron fist of determination. She won't back down from any challenge, and she is ready to win, not to be recognized (she hates attention), but because she secretly loves the thrill of victory.
The only person that knows Areeka's truest characteristics (Jarrus Debrecker) isn't even considered her friend. At least, he isn't supposed to be her friend, as he's already best friend to her brother Elof (Ethan-Loftus, but who wants to be called that?).
So, since no one wants a sibling war, Jarrus remains Elof's friend and Areeka remains "friendless." And "enemy-less," or so she thought. But people who aren't your enemies don't go around challenging you to Death Drops, which is exactly what the new boy, Scius Marks, did to Areeka. Having no one to turn to but Jarrus, Areeka prepares for her Death Drop, embracing the old custom with her usual determination, but knowing as well as Scius that they don't call it a Death Drop for nothing.
So here's what I need.
A. Some vague charrie ideas that can inspire some more minor characters.
B. Some more challenges for the Death Drop (right now it consists of jumping off the halfway point of a small mountain, fighting through the valley below to find an ancient orb placed there by the first Death Drop participaters, and being the first to climb back up with an orb, which will be replaced at the end). I need something to be in the valley to make it more difficult.
C. Some sciency-sounding pieces-and-parts names to make up an invention called a stabilizer that I've made up.
D. An interesting backstory for a seemingly benign scientist named Jerome Hilath who developed stabilizers and changed the developement of the world. He is my main villian, but he has been dead for several years. He is also Areeka's ancestor. This will be (like several dystopian stories), discovering his real intentions in the world. Somehow, Scius needs to already have proof that he is not as he seems.
E. Anything else. You're welcome to throw me any ideas. If I get some interest, I'll post the first chapter.
submitted by Rose bud
(April 17, 2017 - 7:41 pm)
(April 17, 2017 - 7:41 pm)
First off, this sounds really cool! I like that you're trying new things. Alas, I have my own feet set firlmy in the fantasy realm, and no matter how hard I try, everything turns out fantasy. *sigh* But I don't mind; I like fantasy!
Ok, let's see if I can help:
A. (I will put a few names and a few descriptions. The names don't necessarily match the descriptions!) Melissa Heartrope, Nicholas Thorn, Eleanor Pearl, Justin Primbley, Kendra Mousse, Blake Harley. I have WAY more names if you need them! And descriptions: wavy/curly honey-blonde hair, hazel eyes, caramel skin. Blue eyes, slightly wavy brown hair, pale skin. Straight black hair, green eyes, dark skin. Blonde hair, brown eyes, medium skin. Wravy ed hair, teal eyes, pale skin. Just a few suggestions!
B. Falling forward into a chasm, without knowing what awaits you. Only the worthy are caught... and no one's ever been caught. But I like your current idea!
C. Unilever, Culvergog, chrystilgear, Alaver, Zaron, Dervin, Inhil, Ossila, Ulevi, Macha. Wow, those are weird. What's a stabilizer?
D. Maybe the proof could be how cruel he was to his employees? Like she meets one in the valley who recoginizes her as his ancestor and tells her, and also tells her how cruel he was and how much time he spent locked up in his laboratory with stange sounds and smells. Well, maybe not cruel exactly, but like harsh and uncaring. Like this one guy could try to leave because his wife is sick, and the scientist won't let him because he believes he's close to a breakthrough. Or something. As for backstories, I'm not going to suggest anything because I think the best backstories come from the author's mind, not suggestions.
E. Of course I'm interested! This sounds really cool! :)
~Starseeker
P.S. Thanks for reading all the way through my super long post!! :)
(April 18, 2017 - 7:46 pm)
(April 18, 2017 - 8:22 pm)
Top! Thanks for all the suggestions!
A stabilizer is a little blue-colored mechanism that literally harnesses gravity in order to "stabilize" whatever it is applied to. It is used on everything from scooters to household appliances, and prevents falls, damage, and other mishaps. Of course, they aren't perfect. Your scooter may have more balance, but it can still bump into a tree (it just wouldn't be as forceful) if you are a realllly bad scooterist.
(April 19, 2017 - 11:41 am)
Oh okay. Thanks! Weird idea: maybe the world is falling apart and the employee I mentioned earlier is trying to build a giant stabilizer to fix it! And no one but the employee (and your main character, when he tells her) knows what's happening. This may not be such a good idea (I don't know where your story is going!) but it certainly is an interesting concept!
~Starseeker
(April 20, 2017 - 8:55 am)
a. a character who appears to be your typical, cool-kid "i hate you all" kind of guy/girl (think Nico di Angelo if you've read PJO) but is actually afraid of the dark.
Characters with intense phobias! (fear of storms, fear of reptiles or bugs, fear of heights, anything) Maybe even extreme claustrophia.
Characters with conditions like eczema or asthma
This is just a character I made with very little development- a girl named Rook after the bird (because her parents are orinthologists, her siblings have names like Wren and Sparrow, too), who has a cat named Fish to make fun of her parents for naming their human child after a bird. Idk.
Triplets who run a 'gang'
A tiny girl with a babyface who kicks butt! She should be really girly, too- (pink hair, skirts, makeup, lacy shirts, ballet flats, etc.)
A name- Miora, idk, it's a name I came uup with that sounds sort-of futuristic, I guess?
b. Maybe some type of monster guarding the orb? Or something like the Sphinx were she has to solve a puzzle/riddle? I like Starseeker's idea. Maybe... the thing where you have to vials of liquid, one of them's poison, one isn't? (but that is sort of overused)
c. For names: When in doubt, use astronomy names, or look at Latin root words. Um... I'm terrible at names, sorry.
I am totally blanking on all ideas now, so if I think of any more, I'll share them. This sounds really cool, Rose bud!
(April 20, 2017 - 4:23 pm)
If you want the story to be sci-fi the thing guarding the orb has to be something man-made, like a robotic dragon that can turn invisible.
Or you could have a plot twist where the orb itself unfolds into a giant robot and the actual orb is in its stomach and you have to kill it to get the orb? I like that one!
(April 26, 2017 - 7:47 pm)