Would anyone be
Chatterbox: Blab About Books
Would anyone be interested in reading my book-in-the-making/Camp NaNoWriMo April project? If so, comment here, and chapter one will be out shortly. Here's a bit about it:
~ Summary: When Via Johnson gets a chance to go to the school of her dreams, she happily takes it. But will this strange school, located in Longcrag Manor, really be all that it seems? One day, Via discovers five strange doors in an upper room in a turret. . .this can only lead to chaos.
~ Fun Fact: The spark for the idea came to me late at night in the form of a mental scene in which five children sat together in a room, each with different quirks (A.K.A., scene from chapter two).
~ The first chapter was spur-of-the-moment, including the invention of the sky tram!
I had a thread for this before on Inkwell, but it sank after I stopped posting as frequently. I was hoping to keep this thread up easier on BaB, so I'm gonna try my best, even if I write at a slow pace.
So, please, comment telling me if you'd like me to share my story!
(April 6, 2017 - 7:23 pm)
(April 6, 2017 - 8:54 pm)
Alrighty! First chapter out soon!
(April 9, 2017 - 9:56 am)
Yes, please! I'd love to hear your story! Maybe call it Longcrag Manor?
(April 9, 2017 - 12:35 pm)
Oh yes, I'd love to read it! Please share it!
:)
~Leafy
(April 9, 2017 - 1:28 pm)
Hmm, I'll think about the title, Lightning! Thanks guys! I'll post the first chapter right now!
Chapter One
THUD
____________________~~~~~______________________
I sat calmly in the sky tram as it rattled along the line. The distance from myself to the ground didn't bother me much, and neither did the fact that if the sky tram happened to snap off the flimsy line, I would plummet 30,000 feet to my death. I didn't really mind, either, that looking out the window, an eerily empty chasm waited silently for my doom. Ok, maybe I was a little worried by the prospect, but I remained calm and composed for the entirety of my ride, bumpy and creaky or not. As the noisy sky tram made its way slowly along the line, a tall stone building materialized out of the mist. It looked out of place on the rocky mountainside, towering up unevenly, and yet, it also looked like it belonged. Longcrag Manor.
I thought it strange that the academy should be located inside a manor; let alone a manor on the edge of a giant ravine. If anyone knew that the transportation to the school was by way of a sky tram on a rattling line, they'd never permit children to come here. I realized that was probably the reason why the only part of travel they ever specified about was the limousine ride. I shivered, wondering what other strange secrets waited for me at the academy, and wondering if I was maybe a little too enthusiastic to enroll.
I took a mental picture of the strangely interesting building so that I would make certain not to forget it. I had a very good memory, and could lock things into my brain and make them stay there forever. It was strange--but then again, I liked strange.
The sky tram jolted to a stop, hurling me to the other side of the car. I stood up and shook myself off, a little shaken from the bump, but otherwise in tact. The doors of the tram car slid open squeaking, and I stepped out onto a platform. The platform that I had stepped onto was old and creaky, much like the tram car, and I wasn't exactly eager to tread on the rotting planks of the bridge, especially since the consequences of falling could, and would, be fatal. But nevertheless, I didn't let it get to me, and resolved to put my total and complete trust in the unstable bridge. After all, it had lasted this long, hadn't it? What could a few more light steps from a girl my size do?
I walked swiftly but softly along the bridge, my heart skipping a beat every time the boards squeaked, and many of the boards were missing, but eventually, after what seemed like a thousand years, I made it across the treacherous platform and onto solid ground. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding, and walked on. The ground was rocky and bumpy, but I was much more comfortable here than on either the rotting bridge, or in the rusty old sky tram. I reached a long pathway made of stones of different sizes and shapes, all worn with age and many feet treading upon them.
I trotted briskly along until I reached some large, oaken double doors. I reached out and pressed the big brass doorbell. Silence. It wasn't surprising in the quietness that had been ringing in my ears since I was brought here, though I had been expecting sound. I resorted to the doors, hoping they were unlocked. They were as heavy as they looked, and once I had a firm grip on the shiny brass handles, it took me three tries until I finally heaved both doors open.
"Hello?" I called into darkness.
No one seemed to be here, or if they were, they were hiding. The lights were off, and a damp and musky scent made its way into my nostrils. The grim silence was getting to me, and a cool breeze sent chills down my spine. I wrapped my thin jacket tighter around my body and turned to leave. If there was no one here, there was no reason to stay, either. Although it didn't make any sense, the call must have been a hoax. I would've gone home, told my family, and after dinner, curled up in bed with my chicken. And after that my life would've gone on as usual. As if the phone call had never come, I had never been brought here, never ridden in the sky tram, never gone across the chasm on a rotting old bridge, and never tried the door. At least that's what would've happened.
If I didn't hear a THUD behind me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry about the length! Enjoy!
(April 9, 2017 - 7:44 pm)
(April 9, 2017 - 9:19 pm)
This looks really cool! Please post it!
(April 10, 2017 - 6:07 pm)
Thank you! The first chapter is already out! ;-)
(April 10, 2017 - 8:11 pm)
I love it so far! I love all your descriptions. :) A suggestion that I only make because I used to do the same thing: try not to use so many commas in one sentence! Instead of saying, for example, "the platform that I had stepped onto was old and creaky, much like the tram car, and I wasn't especially eager to tread on the rotting planks of the bridge, especially because the consequences of falling could, and would, be fatal", try "Much like the tram car, the platform that i had stepped onto was old and creaky. I wasn't especially eager to tread on the rotting planks of the bridge, espeically because the consequences of falling could-- and would-- be fatal". Please don't feel like you have to take my advice! This is a great story and YOU, not me (I?), are the writer. Keep writing! I can't wait to read more! :)
~Starseeker
(April 11, 2017 - 9:10 am)
Thanks, Starseeker! I'll try to keep that in mind! And I have to agree, I do go a little comma crazy sometimes. XD It's probably one if my biggest writing problems.
(April 11, 2017 - 12:20 pm)
This is amazing! Great job, Leeli. I can't wait for the next part!
(April 15, 2017 - 12:08 pm)
Thank you! :D The next part should be out shortly!
(April 15, 2017 - 2:31 pm)
Yay!
(April 16, 2017 - 11:55 am)
(April 16, 2017 - 12:04 pm)
Sorry, I can't read it all right now because I'm pressed for time, but I'm excited to see what happens!
(April 17, 2017 - 5:17 pm)