Heres the first

Chatterbox: Blab About Books

Unnamed Story Im writing
Heres the first...

Heres the first chapter of a book I'm writing.

-----

 

            “You’re an idiot, Meris.” Northon growled, sitting on a
tree branch. He cast no shadow, as their whole world was enveloped in darkness.
His skin was black, his hair white, but filled with grey dust. His amber eyes
glowed protectively.

            “Yeah, yeah.” I said, rolling my eyes. We were sitting
beside the lake, I don’t even know why. It was an 10 minutes until my Coming of
Age ceremony. 

            “Your awfully lucky you never broke your ankle, jumping
out of that tree.” Northon retorted

            “Aw, you care about me!” I sarcastically exclaimed. I
pulled my throwing star, named Mist, from my pocket and threw it across the
lake. It soon returned to my hand, wet with spray from grazing the lake.

            “Well of course-“  
I looked at Northon, who was blushing. I laughed and looked at myself in
the lake. My snow-like, waist length hair was braided so tiny, intricate, beads
could be threaded on the ends, I had dark grey skin, and blue-green eyes.
Smiling, I examined my sharp teeth. I had a teal dyed silk top on with white
pants. I was surprised they were still white, but they didn’t easily stain, and
is they did, my mom just washed them.

            “We need to get you to your little ceremony.” Norton
said, getting down from his tree, I turned from my reflection and followed him
to the path to the village.

            “it’s not little, you had yours last year.”

            “Eh.”

            We made it back to the village just as the ceremony
started. I squeezed into my spot and the village leader started speaking.

            “Welcome to this year’s Coming of Age ceremony. Remember children,
don’t come back until you have your rider’s branding . First off we have Aleo.”
He congratulated the guy, handed him a satchel, and sent him into the forest.
The Leader filtered through the names.

            Until it was my turn.

            “Meris Awolen.” I walked forward. “This young Pquaraess
has shown extreme skill with throwing stars and agility. If she succeeds and
survives the week, she will make a valuable contribution to the Guild. He
handed me a satchel and I shook his hand, and then ran down the path, into the
forest, to find a Sam’mumi egg.

            I’d only seen one Sam’mumi, and that was Norton’s. Norton
called him Felo; he was red with black markings and amber eyes. His was
friendly and liked dried meats. I got to ride him once, with Nortons help, it
was amazing.

            I strayed off the path, and climbed a tree, I figured it
would be the best to see nests. I walked from branch to branch,

            I flew forward; an unbearable amount of wind forced me
from the branch.

I
was pushed. I tumbled to the ground, and tried to stand. My ankle was numb.
Well, karma isn’t in my favor. I see what pushed me; a mother Sam’mumi
defending her nest used a gust from her wings to push me away. I soon and
limped closer to the nest. The mother swept down and hissed, puffing her chest
and spreading her wings. I swished my tail, pinned my ears, and hissed back.
Pacing in front of the mother I pulled my star and threw it. It hit the mother
in the eye, leaving a flowing river of silver blood in its wake. The star
covered in silver returned to my hand. The mother roared in anger, leaping at
me. I ran out of the way, falling from the shake of the ground. The mother took
the chance and pinned me, I closed my eyes and prepared for it: This was a
frost breathing Sam’mumi. She was going to kill me, freeze me to death.

            Oh my, am I stupid. A fire spell! I summoned fire in my
palm and shoved it the mother’s cut eye. She reeled back, sputtering and
coughing. I stood, watching the mother: she was dying. Guilt clawed at my
chest. She was on her side now, breathing heavily. I sighed and walked to her.
My hand was the size of her pupil, she was huge. I placed a hand on her chest
and found a fluttering heartbeat.

            “May Davicua forgive me. Please heal your creation, for
she has fought nobly. I never had wished to maim this creature. Please forgive
me, my creator.” Her heartbeat strengthened, and the wind blew through the
trees; through my hair rustling the beads. I limped away to the nest, cringing
with each step. At the nest there were two eggs, each black. I took one, and
placed it in the satchel. I hurried off, dragging my foot behind me.

            Soon I came to a clearing, I decided I would rest. From
the satchel I pulled the egg and set it on the ground. I also pulled a folded
cloth, which I knew was a tarp for a tent, I just needed three sticks, and
because of my foot I just summoned them. I made the tent and sat inside of it.

            I placed my hands on my food. Pain shot up my leg and I
felt the broken bones. I whispered a short healing spell. An unforgiving darkness
of exhaustion spread from the corners of my eyes. I fell backwards, all the
spells sapping my energy.

 

 

            When I woke up, my foot was better but my head was sore.
I hate karma.

            I sat up and crawled from my tent. I ran to the forest
and grabbed wood and rocks for a fire. When I returned I found the wood lit
easily, which was good. While the fire was burning I emptied the satchel and
found other thinks including wound ointment, a spyglass, a tiny bag of dried
stag meat, a blessing charm, a bottle of ink, a dip pen, a charcoal pencil, and
a small journal. I turned to the egg.

            I filled the pen and opened the journal. I drew the egg,
it was shaped like an oval and the shiny black had flecks of red in it. I moved
all my stuff to my tent, extinguished the fire, and fell asleep.

            I awoke to a pain on my collarbone, a splitting, stabling
pain. I suppressed a scream of utter frustration. I walked through the forest,
trying to find a stream. When I found one, it was fast moving, but I could
vaguely see my reflection.      On my
collarbone was a mark, lines intertwined that looked like I used my dip pen. It
was spectacular; I realized it was my riders mark. I ran back to my tent and
searched around for the baby Sam’mumi. I felt something tugging my bootlace; I
looked down to see a navy Sam’mumi. He had a black chest and black wing and
tail feathers. His eyes where a deep marron.

            I picked him up, and it seemed as if my collarbone was
buzzing. He chirred softly. I placed him on the ground and reached for the bag
of dried meat. I took a strip and popped it into my mouth I fed the rest to the
baby.

            “You need a name, don’t you little one?” I thought for a
moment. “How about Vieolir?” The baby didn’t seem to disagree. He ran
in-between my feet and flapped his wings. I smiled and began to pack. It was
quick work, and I only took the stuff that was of use in the satchel, but I
left the tent.

            I ran through the forest, Vieolir trying to fly after my,
but only running. We soon came to the village entrance. I picked up Vieolir and
walked in, standing tall. A crowd quickly gathered.

            I was the first back, apparently.

            Northon ran up to me, beaming. I smiled.

            “Only a day?”

            “What do you mean.”

            “Well, it usually takes longer to find a nest, let alone
get the egg.”

            “The Sam’mumi found me…” I told him the story, and he
laughed.

            “That’s funny.”

            “Sure.” I replied, walking deeper into the village. They
gazed at me, my mark, and Vieolir. The village leader soon approached me,
carrying a bundle of clothes. I bowed my head to him, but he waved his hand
dismissively.

            “Meris, welcome to the League of KIolgazi.”

            “Thank you.”

            “Now listen, around noon I predict, what have you named
him?”

            “Vieolir.”

            “Well, I predict Vieolir will be full grown by then, for
Sam’mumi’s are not slow growing creatures. Here I have for you riding clothes,
and a manual, I suggest you read through it tonight.” The leader nodded to me
and walked away. He stopped and turned to me.

            “What you did back there with the mother? Noble. Davicua
forgives you, and approves.” He smiles and leaves.

            Vieolir flapped onto my shoulder, and I smiled. I raised
my hand and the crowd cheered.

            We walked to my family hut, where my parents congratulated
me, and met Vieolir. They loved the baby Sam’mumi. Somebody knocked on the
door, and my mother and I answered it.

            “Is it okay if we start building your Sam’mumi hangar?” A
dusty grey man asked.

            “We don’t have any money to pay-“

            “it’s free for the League members.”       

            My mom nodded. “Go on ahead.”

            “Thank you, it should be done at midnight.” The man ran
off, and we closed the door, I picked up Vieolir and carried him upstairs. I
set him on my bed, and retrieved the manual from my pocket. It has to be only 5
pages.  It read,

 

Taking care of your
Sam’mumi

DIET

 

Sam’mumi’s
of all ages should be restricted from all foods except meats (dried and fresh)
and Pankm. Meats are essential, as any plants, fruits, and vegetables (except
Pankm) should be avoided as most is LIFE THREATENING.

 

EXERSISE

 

Sam’mumi’s
should be ridden every day, as unfit Sam’mumi’s are at risk to destroy
property, get various sicknesses, and runaway. When riding, please ride
correctly and with correct equipment.

 

MATNEINCE

      Please wash monthly, taking extra care on feathers.

            “Seems simple
enough.” I whisper. Vieolir jumps off my bed repeatedly, gliding to the ground
and landing silently.

            “Meris! The hangar
is done!” I run downstairs, carrying the Sam’mumi. He wiggles out of my hands
and flies the rest of the way and into the hangar. I’m astonished, because on
the outside its tiny, but on the inside magic was used. Inside is a huge dome,
with a glass ceiling that clearly shows the sky. The walls are marble and glass
alternating.  The floor is made of white
marble. It seems light in here, buts not: there are candles lining the walls
and s blessing charm on the opposite side of the dome. It seems so large.

            “Oh my Davicua… This
is amazing.”

            “Yeah.” My mom says.
“You should get to bed, check on Vieolir in the morning.”

            “Yeah.” I shuffled
under the stairs and into my room. I welcomed sleep, I was exhausted.

submitted by MapleSyurp
(May 29, 2016 - 6:10 pm)

Admin, I forgot to cut out a sware word... Paragraph 16... Unless you guys (Admins) thought it was okay... ( which I doubt)

 

Thanks for pointing it out, Maple. Fixed now. I did miss it.

Admin

submitted by MapleSyurp
(May 29, 2016 - 9:30 pm)

No problem... TOP!!!

submitted by MapleSyurp
(May 30, 2016 - 9:22 am)

O.O 

That was gorgeous. Few words can describe that, Maple.

submitted by Cho Chang
(May 30, 2016 - 9:35 am)

Hey, thanks Cho!

Chapter Two-

 

Two

            In the morning, I skipped breakfast and ran to the hangar.
I stopped in my tracks as I entered: in the middle of the dome was Sam’mumi
bigger then the mother I got its egg from. It spread its wings and roared.

            “Oh Vieolir.” I whispered and Vieolir approached. He
nuzzled me and knocked me over. I walked around the dome, trying to find a exit
big enough for Vieolir. Soon I found doors and they opened when I came near
them. I walked out and Vieolir followed. I ran (Vieolir flew) to the League of
KIolgazi headquarters. Headquarters was a huge marble building, with a several
league long training field.  The rooms
where huge and tens of Sam’mumi’s and their riders walked through. Soon I found
the Leader, and approached him.     

            “Teach us to fly.” I said, and Leader chuckled.

            “Of course. Meet me in the flight area, let me find
Mymai.” He replied, and I walked out and around the building to the training
field. Several moments later, a crimson Sam’mumi swooped down and landed.
Anxious energy floated off of Vieolir.  

            “Well come on, get on!” The rider called, who was Leader.

            “No saddle?”

            “Not to learn. After you learn you will choose your
class, and with it a saddle.”

            I clambered on to the base of Vieolir’s neck. He shifted
his weight from foot to foot.

            “Now how to rise?” I called.

            “Well, first see his feelers?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Take them in hand, gently.”

            I carefully took the feelers in my hand and felt them,
they were soft and delicate.

            “Now softly squeeze them.” I did so, and with a burst of
energy, Vieolir rose into the air. I smiled, and regained my position as we
rose.

            “Now squeeze one feeler to turn that way.” I did so and
we turned,

            “And to go up?” I called over the wind

            “squeeze with your legs repeatedly.” We shot upwards,
almost vertical. Soon we were above the clouds. Leader sliced the fluffy
barrier and appeared.

            “Before you ask, down is one big squeeze of the legs.
Banking is squeezing the feeler and shifting your weight to the side you want
to do so. Have fun, the rest is to figure out yourself and develop your own
moves.” He sank downwards.

            {Finally, their gone.}

            “Who was that? Show your self1” I yelled over the
gush of air.

            {It’s only me.}

            “Who’s there!”

            [Vieolir. And speak with your mind, its
hurts for me to strain over the wind.]

            [Like this?]

            [ah, much better.]

            [What’s up with
the telepathic link, does everybody have this?]               

            [Why of course. We aren’t chosen. That’s
Northon.]

            [What?]

            [I’m kidding. I think.]   Vieolir’s
laughter filled my head, and I couldn’t help laughing myself.

            [How fast can you
go?}

            [Let’s find out.]

            With a thrust of his white wings, we flew forward,
slicing the air as if it was butter. My hair was a whip, stinging my back as it
flew after me in flight.

            [Do I even have to
hold on to your feelers?]

            [You don’t have to. Just tell me.] Slowly I loosened my grip and put my arms to my
sides. I thought of banking right and spiraling downwards, and Vieolir got the
picture. Gracefully we spun towards the ground. We landed in the grass in front
of the headquarters.

            So much more was happening then us
landing.

            “You better shut up!” The male growled, shoving the
little female. “Tell anybody who I am and I knife your throat.”

            “You know perfectly who I am.” The female growled, tail
snapping back and forth.

            “Yeah, an outsider.” The male spit, pinning his ears.

            “So I guess we’re even.” He added. “Who sent you here?”

            ‘The company Jupiter Intelligence.” The female replied,
half boasting

            “Bluebird Corporation. I’m mapping all of Bai’I.
The male replied.

            “So what, you can destroy it with resorts and houses?”
The male looked away, angry.

            “It’s just a planet filled of freaks.” He retorted

            “It’s just a planet with one of the most complex atmosphere!
You would be destroying a unique ecosystem and waging war on a whole planet!”

            “Nerd.”

            “Jerk.”

            “Tree hugger.”

            “Greedy false Pquara.”

            “You’re not a Pquara yourself.”

            “At least I want to be. And now I will act like one.” She
leapt from the ground, and tackled the male. Pinning him, she drew her knife.
The males eyes widened, and she stabbed him. He gurgled, blood pouring from the
gashes in his chest, and died.

            “And now my mission is safe.” The
female said, brushing off her legs. She surrounded the dead man with stones and
lit him on fire. Smoke rose into the air, clouding the constellation Sagittarius,
and enveloping the stars in a cloud of unnatural darkness that the villagers
happened to see.

            Just as I opened my door, a scream emitted from the road.
I turned and ran in the direction of the blood curling call. It was a child:
she was standing at the feet of a female I’ve never seen before. She smelled of
blood and smoke, and I didn’t trust her: something about her was different.

            The Shaman of our village, Kilo, and Leader ran down the
road and confronted the stranger. Kilo snatched up the child and bared his
teeth. I stepped forward and hissed. Smoke and blood scent washed over me and I
looked up at the stars. Some of them where clouded over with smoke rising from
the forest.

            [Vieolir! Where are
you! Find the source of the smoke, theirs a stranger here. She smells like
smoke.]

            [Okay.]

            “Who are you?” I growled as I circled the girl. Her tail
twitched excitedly.

            “My name is Amy.” She said. “And I take it you are a
Pquara?”

            “Aren’t you as well?”

            “Sort of. I’m a human-“Screams and yells of protest
emitted from the surrounding area.

            “Please let her finish.” Kilo pleaded.

            “But I’m only here to study the planet. The sky-“

            “Veil.” I corrected.

“Well,
the Veil repels sunlight, bur receives
lunar and starlight. You can still see all the earthly constellations-“

            [Somebody was burned.] An image flew
into my mind, an oval of stones ad a skeletion.

            I gasped and people looked at me like I was crazy.
Thunder cracked, and rain began to fall in heavy sheets of rain that clouded
vision and made it necessary to put lids on lanterns. The purple flames
flickered and hissed when water found its ways into a lantern.

            [That’s all?]

            [Only bone remains.]

            “Leave.” Leader said. “Outsiders don’t belong here.”

            “As he says.” Kilo agreed. Amy turned and exited, hair
soaking. Something was on her hip, and it bounced with her step. She
disappeared down the path, and the rai became unbearable, I ran to my house and
got inside. I was dripping wet, and puddles followed me through the house.
Vieolir was in the hangar, and I fed him before going to bed. My eyelids grew
heavy, and soon enough I was asleep.

            “Fire!”

            [Meris! Wake up! Hurry, we haven’t much
time!]

 

submitted by MapleSyurp
(May 30, 2016 - 10:02 am)

... Once again, I cannot describe. This world vaguely reminds me of Star Wars. A feeling of dread was in my stomach almost that whole time. You have a way to use words to create a spell. KEEP WRITING!!!!

submitted by Cho Chang
(May 30, 2016 - 10:51 am)

That's great MapleSyrup!

submitted by Leeli
(May 30, 2016 - 11:22 am)

Thanks guys!

submitted by MapleSyurp
(May 30, 2016 - 4:32 pm)

Wow! Please post more! I loved this from chapter 1, paragraph 1!

submitted by Leafpool, The forest
(May 30, 2016 - 7:27 pm)

This is such a great story idea. One day, I read this, and later in the day I remembered something from, and I thought, what book is that from? And then I remembered it was from your"unnamed story." Such experience is significant: it proves that your story is so amazing that is publishing quality! Of course, there are a few edits I would make, but then again, it's your story, not mine. So keep up the great work, Maple.

submitted by Scylla
(June 3, 2016 - 7:52 am)

MapleSyurp, this is really great! Keep the good work up! I love the story. By the way, have you thought of a name for it, yet?

submitted by Alexandra
(June 20, 2016 - 9:14 pm)
submitted by Spinning TOP
(June 28, 2016 - 9:33 pm)
submitted by Spinning TOP
(June 28, 2016 - 9:35 pm)

This is amazing work, Maple! It threw me off at first because I thought they were human, so you did amazing with using the element of surprise numerous times. Please do write more, because both chapters are wonderful!

submitted by Ashlee G., age 15, Elsewhere
(June 30, 2016 - 10:00 am)

This is an exceedingly imaginative story, Maple! I look forward to reading more. :)

submitted by Esthelle (Es-thel-ay, age Anonymous, Rivendell (I wish) ;)
(July 9, 2016 - 10:13 am)