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Rants and Critisism of Books
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This is a thread for lengthy critisism of books you are annoyed with.... my turn!
I AM ANNOYED WITH BRANDON MULL. If you don't want Fablehaven to be spoiled for you, don't read this!
I really love the Fablehaven books, but several things about it annoy me:
1) Kendra develops crushes on the avatar of a demonic dragon, a distant cousin, and a four thousand year old unicorn. What's wrong with normal guys that are her own age?! And not related!
2) Kendra is still always outdoing Seth. In the first book, it's basically 'bad Seth opens a window and good Kendra saves all of Fabwehaven.' Then she's fairykind, and everyone makes a big fuss about her, and she's admitted to the Knights of the Dawn, and blah blah blah, but even though Seth's abilities as a shadow charmer are just as valuable, he isn't admitted till the end of the fourth book. True, they didn't find out until book four; but after he defeated the revenant in book two and stole the time device thingy whatever it's called in book three, it was pretty obvious that he was worth something. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. In book five, right after he slays Graulas and Nagi Luna, SHE uses Vasilis, the sword that SETH recovered to slay the Demon King (yeesh, she's a fifteen year old girl, who cares if she's fairykind!) and gets all the credit for it despite the fact that SETH was the one who stole the sword. It's almost as if Brandon Mull is saying: "Hey, Seth, no matter what you do, you'll always be outdone by your perfect, fairykind, demon slaying, fairy leading, Fairy Queen friendly, unicorn-loving older sister. She's leaning toward Sue status.
3) More about Kendra's love life: in the end, she likes BRACKEN. THE UNICORN (literally, not metaphorically, he's actually really nice but...) WHO CARES? He's a four thousand year old unicorn for heaven's sake, even if he is stuck in human form!!! I kind of wish Warren was her age and not related to her, because out of Gavin, Warren, and Bracken I like him the most. Warren was a sort of silly crush, it was obvious it would end, and Gavin I can give credit: he was pretending to be her age. BUT BRACKEN HAS NO EXCUSE. HE'S A UNICORN. HE'S A UNICORN, OKAY? GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD, KENDRA: HE'S THE FAIRY QUEEN'S SON, AND A UNICORN!
4) Grandma and Grandpa Snoreson are completely. Utterly. Useless. It's up to Kendra and Seth to save the day. No matter what. Even if there's a demon on the loose. It's annoying.
5) Whenever Kendra has trouble or something, she just goes to the Fairy Queen and goes all, "Oh fairy queen the preserve is about to fall for the fifth time and I need your help so can you please just destroy one of your shrines over there if it isn't too much trouble and give me some crazy potion to transform astrids into humans or whatever and by the way I just drank some poison can your fairies make me fairykind please? And the Fairy Queen ALWAYS goes along with it!
~~~
That concludes my Fablehaven talk. Ahh, that felt good.
submitted by Tiffany W.
(June 26, 2012 - 11:45 am)
(June 26, 2012 - 11:45 am)
I didn't really like Life As We Knew It, mainly because the main character complains too much. I mean, I get it //spoiler alert\\ the planet and tides are messed up. But people died from that! You're alive, stop complaining.
(June 27, 2012 - 1:47 pm)
Btw, I know it sounded like I hated Fablehaven, but that isn't actually true. I love the series, I'm just pointing out its flaws.
(June 27, 2012 - 6:18 pm)
And here I thought Fairy Queens were contrary creatures who liked to randomly deny legitimate requests. (sincerity mode) (that means, opposite of sarcasm mode)
(June 28, 2012 - 12:31 am)
Extremely short rants on extremely short books:
Sarah, Plain and Tall
Why does everybody think this is such a good book? It is extremely short, and I really don't know why it is so famous.
Skellig
I read this over the weekend, and it is not very good. Why does it even mention skellig? It does not make any sense.
(July 4, 2012 - 6:20 pm)
Can we talk about Redwall?
Ugh, OH. MY gosh. Yes, Redwall's pretty amazing, and only a little clichéd, so I'm OK with that. You don't have to keep this thing running through what? 20 books? WE ARE ALL familiar with the "ooh! I'm a peaceful person who only kind of messes up and I've gotta go fight evil people to save everywhere" dealio.
I think the only ones that I really liked were Redwall, Triss, and Taggerrung. Redwall because it's the first and you haven't quite settled into the COMPLETE MONOTONY of the series, Triss because it's different and I actually LIKE the main character, and Taggerrung because it IS NOT A STUPID REVENGE THING. Do you know how much I appreciate that it's not a sordid tale of Firebenders killing your family so I must go wage war now. It's a story of FINDING OUT WHO THE HECK YOU ARE. I really appreciate that!
((Um, when I said Firebenders, I meant rats or foxes or something.)) This leads me to my next point.
The choice of villains has absolutely no variation. Mice, squirrels, moles, rabbits, all the "cute and cuddly" animals are the "good guys", and foxes, rats, martens, all the "not so cute OR cuddly things" are left to be evil forevermore. It just makes one think, Why can't there be an evil mouse (Waterbender, Airbender, Earthbender ((But that Bloodbender lady in ATLA and Amon are kind of horrible, so Waterbenders are kind of evil somethines but who cares?)))? It's all, "Foxes (Firebenders) killed my parents!"
I actually read something on FanFiction where there was a fox who was kind of good, but the person hasn't updated in a looong time. Please, Raven of the Shades, if you are here on the CB incognito, UPDATE!!! I wanna know what happens to Evans and Fenn and the wasp thing and that other guy! Ren? Red? (Yes. I have reached a new low. I have forgotten the name of the protagonist.) Reske! That was it!
But I do love Redwall sometimes, as well as Avatar and Korra. So it's ok.
Chickuu says cufp.
~Ash out~
(July 22, 2012 - 8:06 pm)
Wait, martens are real? I thought theywere a creature Cornelia Funke made up for the Inkworld. I feel ignorant...
(July 24, 2012 - 1:59 pm)
That's alright; my mom hadn't heard of them until I mentioned them, either. They're related to weasels and look rather similar (I don't know much about their behavior). They don't have horns in real life, though.
(July 24, 2012 - 8:26 pm)
I love Gwin. I actually saw a martin once when I was about 3, I'm not sure where.
(July 25, 2012 - 1:17 pm)
Awesome! I've never seen a marten (which I'm sure is what you meant), but I would love to; like JKR, "I have always had a fondness for the family Mustelidae" (or something like that--it may not be the exact quote). I've seen martins with an I, though; they're a kind of bird.
(July 25, 2012 - 4:57 pm)
Just look them up on Google= universal solution to anything.
(July 26, 2012 - 9:49 am)
Thanks, but although I know what they look like, seeing an animal on the Internet isn't the same for me as seeing the same animal in real life. (I suppose that isn't such a bad thing, either, because I'd never go outside, otherwise, as the only reason I do so is to watch animals).
(July 26, 2012 - 10:03 pm)
PERCY JACKSON NEEDS A MORE IMAGINATIVE FATAL FLAW. THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY FOR NOW.
(July 28, 2012 - 8:36 am)
Yes. He needs... a lot of things. He really isn't an interesting character.
(July 28, 2012 - 12:22 pm)
Spoiler alert for all of these, BTW.
Fablehaven: I really loved these books, but I agree with Tiffany on a couple of things. Kendra gets way too much credit for everything! Seth... Seth does so much awesome stuff, but everyone hates him and loves Kendra. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT BRANDON MULL WOULD DO THAT WITH THE SWORD. Seriously, it should have worked better for Seth! And yeah, the Fairy Queen is kind of annoying, just giving Kendra whatever she wants and no one else. But I was fine with the Bracken crush thing.
The Sisters Grimm: I don't know if anyone else has read this series, but they are amazingly fantabulous and you all should. But there was one thing I absolutely hated. WHY DID BRIAR ROSE HAVE TO DIEEEEEEE!?!?!? Jake is all alone now. :(
Artemis Fowl: I have some problems with Minerva Paradiso. She's fine as a character, but really, I don't think Artemis should have ended up with her. I almost wish Artemis and Holly could be together, but there's a pretty big age difference (not to mention species), so that wouldn't work. Just saying.
Twilight: Everything. 'nuff said.
Catherine, Called Birdy: ARGH I HATE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. It was fine at first, not a particularly good book, but interesting enough for me to keep reading it. (My mom was making me, too, so I didn't have much choice.) But it got really annoying really quickly. Why does Catherine feel the need to say "Corpus Bones" after every single sentence? Why is she such an aggravating character? But I hated the ending most of all. She tries so hard to escape her marriage to whats-his-face-old-rich-beard-guy, but she doesn't save herself in the end, he just randomly dies in a bar fight and she marries his son! Seriously, why write a book if that's the best plot you can think of?
Wow, this has probably just lowered my blood pressure by 10%. Incredible idea, Tiffany. :)
(July 28, 2012 - 7:21 pm)
About the AF thing: I definitely ship ArtemisxHolly. I guess if Minerva was more of a developed character I might have shipped them, but... well... GARR.
(August 1, 2012 - 9:26 am)